Father: And the ending of the story…
Little girl: I don't like this story!
Father: Don't you want to know how the story ends?
Little girl: No! I don't like it!
Father: And the ending of the story is: the mermaid's brain just kept exploding forever and ever and ever. The end.
–Indian Road Cafe, 218th St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Extremely tall black woman watching video excerpt of porn star Marilyn Chambers "self pleasuring": Huh, looks like she's cleaning out a chicken.
–Museum of Sex, 5th Ave
Very round and fat short woman on cell: Next time ya come down to Astoria bring me some ribs! (girlishly) Bring me some chicken or some ribs. (pause) Wellll, bring some tomorra! (pause) I'll be lickin' my fingas at 4:30 in the mornin'!
–N Train
Overheard by: I want some ribs too
Suit on cell: So, the chicken comes out of its cage, and then it picks your fortune!
–Baxter St & Walker St
Overheard by: Kristin
High school girl: I'm sorry, but I was really high, and the chicken was just sitting there in the fridge. I mean, would you think someone's a bad person who kills someone when they're drunk? (pause) Let's pretend I didn't say that.
–86 St
Lady on cell: They eat the same thing all the time. Every single day it's curried chicken, white rice, curried chicken, white rice. I just want a damn sushi burger!
–Downtown F Train
Gay guy dressed in black with painted red hair: So fuck it. I'm gonna make a fetish costume for a chicken!
–11st St & 3rd Ave
Kid in car, screaming at top of his lungs in parked car: Just a small town girl living in a lonely world she took…
From random window: If she doesn't shut the fuck up she'll take a midnight train to my foot up her ass!
–Brooklyn
Drunk girl in green #1: I'm not shit-faced.
Drunk girl in green #2: No? Then what are you?
Drunk girl in green #1: Oh! A green truck!
–Park Ave & 34th St
Overheard by: I saw it too.
Girl #1: Can you hear music up your nose?
Girl #2: That is the most amazing thing you have ever said.
–Bard High School
Overheard by: Sunny
Cop to another: Are you drunk yet?
–Corner of 145th St
Frustrated-sounding NYU student to friend: Well, why don't you get a girl and you can just pretend she's drunk?
–Washington Square
Future rabbi: So my philosophy professor, Lenny Kravitz, told us we'll be drinking scotch in class tomorrow…
–4th & Broadway
Drunk black guy arguing on phone: Man, you need to stop drinkin'. Not only is yo speech gettin' slurred, but yo brains is gettin' slurred too!
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Ashley
Dude to friend: I swear to god, every time he gets a little buzzed he thinks he's Austin Powers.
–40th & 7th
Overheard by: thivnav
Woman on cell, sitting at counter: The baby's not out yet…as in "it's still inside her."
–McDonald's, Varick Street
Overheard by: Jordan
College student: It's like taking candy from a baby…only, ya know, I'd ask the mother first.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Dara
Dork walking by Babies "R" Us with friends: Dude, look! I totally wanna buy a baby!
–Union Square South
Guy on cell: That shop smells like babies!
–Union Square
Drunk man in Santa hat to all train passengers: I know all you ladies want to have babies for Christmas, but there's no time for it! Close your legs, there'll be less heads.
–L Train
Overheard by: Handley Elizabeth
Average-sized woman on cell: He said "big boned." Yeah, "you're a big boned girl… Like your dad, kinda big boned." (pause) Yeah, so, I didn't really feel like eating much after that.
–Queens
Overheard by: bdlilrbt
Girl to friend: I always think I'm a thin person, but then I look into the mirror and realize I'm not.
–3rd & 13th
Super skinny Japanese girl: I brought my juice with me. Then I ordered dessert. But my juice just looked better than eating dessert.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: dignell
Middle aged women to friend: Yeah, we took her in for a few weeks. She was fine, but didn't eat much. But that's because she kind of has an eating disorder. (they burst out into a fit of laughter)
–F Train
Girl getting soda to friend: You know, it's the ice that makes you fat. I heard that somewhere.
–Cafeteria, Marymount Manhattan
Overheard by: Hannah
Cute girl on Penn station escalator: I dipped my dim sum in her tears!
–NJ Transit
Man in running gear on cell: I never get to, but I'm going to try again. I just hope I don't cry!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Daniel
Girl to friend: I cried so hard it went down and under my armpit.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: porter
Bartender: I'll bet he cries when he masturbates.
–MacDougal & W 3rd
Overheard by: Greg
Woman to friends: My vagina is leaking tears right now.
–5th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Zoe
Colleague #1: There is a girl in India with four legs.
Colleague #2: She'll be happy. She'll be able to wear more shoes.
Colleague #1: She can run fast.
–Office, Manhattan
