Son Of a Wednesday One-Liner!

Young mother: Yeah, she still talks like a baby. She still talkin' baby talk. Her favorite word is "bitch."

–C Train

Overheard by: Emily B.

Black chick on phone: So I asked that bitch and she said he's gonna be in the Special Olympics in Secaucus.

–33rd St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Jake

Conductor over PA system: Don't hold the doors, bitches!

–1 Train

Overheard by: Anna

Ghetto boyfriend to ghetto girlfriend: You know… You know that I luh' you, but I just wanna know, why you don't luh' me? Why, bitch, why?!

–Broadway & Canal

Overheard by: Aviva

Man on cell: It was a bad bitch? …a bad bitch?

–37th & Broadway

Girl to friend: …so then the guy turns the fuck around during "Chim chiminey" and just loses his shit on those two old bitches.

–24th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Viv

Posted on August 13, 2008
Babies, Black People, Boyfriends, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Couples, Ghetto Chicks, Girlfriends, Girls, Insults, Love, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Shoes, Singing, The Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Words

…Actually, No, That's a Lie

Girlfriend: Why do you always lie to me?
Boyfriend: Because it is the only way you will take me seriously!

–Plaza Street, Brooklyn

Overheard by: roux42

Posted on August 8, 2008
Boyfriends, Brooklyn, Couples, Default, Girlfriends, Lies, Questions

Wednesday One-Liners Won't Be Buried in the Jewish Cemetery

Girl on cell (reading US Weekly): Hey, Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee were photographed together! That means there's still hope for me and that guy from the tattoo shop!

–Brookyln Diner, Times Square

Latina: What's with grandma keeping gettin' tattoos that show?

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Justin Case de Foodisbad

Chick to another: The only thing he better get tattooed on his butt is my name!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Angela

Guy to girlfriend: Does that guy over there have a picture of Kim Jong II tattooed on his shoulder? (pause) Or is that his kid? (pause) Cause that's fucked up!

–Brighton Beach

Overheard by: Not sure myself…

Girl: So I hooked up with this guy who had a prison tattoo of an eagle ripping up the communist manifesto. I was like: "God bless America," y'know?

–N train

Overheard by: amen

Posted on July 30, 2008
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Boyfriends, Coney Island, Family Ties, Girls, Latinos, Names, On Cell, On the Subway, Pictures, Politics, Prison, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex & Relationships, Tattoos, Times Square, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

So Crispy and Cheesy

Girl: I think there’s a pretty good seafood restaurant around here. What kind of fish do you like?
Boyfriend: I really like goldfish.

–E14th & 3rd

Overheard by: one order of koi, please

Posted on July 26, 2008
Animals & Nature, Boyfriends, Couples, Default, Food, Girlfriends, Questions, Union Square and East Village

Military Service Might Help You Get Started

Boyfriend: You know what I really want to be?
Girlfriend: What, sweetie?
Boyfriend: A crazy old man! The kind with a shotgun that threatens to shoot at kids and steals stuff and never wears his dentures!

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Me too!

Posted on July 24, 2008
Age/Aging, Boyfriends, Bryant Park, Couples, Default, Girlfriends, Questions, Violence, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

The Angry Anorexics on the Train Were Too Weak to Attack Them

Hipster girl to boyfriend: And she was like this huge ass chick with this little tiny dude! And I was just like: “Yeah! Size like… doesn’t fuckin’ matter!”
Hipster boyfriend: I totally know!

–F Train

Overheard by: mark alan

Posted on July 17, 2008
Boyfriends, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girlfriends, Hipsters, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Relationships

A Much Better Way to Reach Out and Touch Myself

Boyfriend: My vibrator is a lot louder than yours.
Girlfriend: Really?
Boyfriend: Yeah, I’m switching to AT&T.

–PATH Train

Overheard by: Not From Jersey City

Posted on July 10, 2008
Boyfriends, Cell Phone, Compare/Contrast, Default, Dildos and Vibrators, Girlfriends, Sensory Experiences, Trains Not Subway, Words

Carrie Bradshaw Sucks at Wednesday One-Liners

NYU girl to friend: I mean, I hate him and it’s making my hair fall out but I think our relationship really works.

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Man to friend: She wanted to go to dinner on some kind of date shit. I wanna bring her to a bar and fuck her in the bathroom.

–G Train

Overheard by: Sarah

Fat chick to friends: I don’t know. He moved. We weren’t serious, you know? I mean how can you be serious with a man who wanted to move to an Indian reservation? (friends nod in approval) I mean why would you want to move to an Indian reservation anyway? It’s like the projects… but in camp.

–Casa Mono

Overheard by: foodie

Girl on cell: Oh, so you really like this one. (pause) That’s cool, where did he take you? (pause) Wow, he must be balling! That place is mad expensive, yo. (pause) What did you say his name was again? (pause, then hysterical laughing) Girl, I can’t take anyone named Skip-to-my-Lou seriously!

–32nd St & 5th Ave

Boyfriend to girlfriend: Well, if I get sick of you I’ll just find someone else!

–Movie Theater, 32nd & 8th

Overheard by: Happy I’m not his girlfriend.

Guy on train: Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention? Sorry for bothering you, but I’ve been single for a year, and that shit’s not popping… So, any donations of phone numbers, e-mail addresses, or MySpace pages would be greatly appreciated. Thank you and may god bless.

–C Train

Overheard by: gretchen

Posted on July 9, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boyfriends, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Fat People, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hair, Men, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Names, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Students, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Whole Foods, Wishes & desires

Billy Joel: “Hey!”

Girlfriend: I just don’t get it. Dan* can be such a nice guy, such a sweetheart. And then other times, he’s Satan. Something must have happened to him when he was a child.
Boyfriend: He’s from Long Island.

–Upper West Side

Overheard by: Not from Long Island

Posted on July 7, 2008
Boyfriends, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Girlfriends, Kids, Psychology, Satan, U.S. Geography, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

If You Do the Allstate Gesture Again I’m Gonna Smack You

Asian guy to girlfriend: That’s the best part about being in a relationship.
White girlfriend: Sandwiches?
Asian guy: Always having an extra pair of hands.

–49th St Station

Overheard by: missalicious

Posted on June 21, 2008
Asians, Body Parts, Boyfriends, Default, Food, Girlfriends, Innuendo, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Relationships, Subway stations, platforms, etc., White People

Boyfriends