Boyfriend: No, seriously, you have the vagina of a nine-year-old girl.
Girlfriend (flattered): Thank you!
–72nd St
Overheard by: Dubjay
Boyfriend: No, seriously, you have the vagina of a nine-year-old girl.
Girlfriend (flattered): Thank you!
–72nd St
Overheard by: Dubjay
Young mother: Yeah, she still talks like a baby. She still talkin' baby talk. Her favorite word is "bitch."
–C Train
Overheard by: Emily B.
Black chick on phone: So I asked that bitch and she said he's gonna be in the Special Olympics in Secaucus.
–33rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Jake
Conductor over PA system: Don't hold the doors, bitches!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Anna
Ghetto boyfriend to ghetto girlfriend: You know… You know that I luh' you, but I just wanna know, why you don't luh' me? Why, bitch, why?!
–Broadway & Canal
Overheard by: Aviva
Man on cell: It was a bad bitch? …a bad bitch?
–37th & Broadway
Girl to friend: …so then the guy turns the fuck around during "Chim chiminey" and just loses his shit on those two old bitches.
–24th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Viv
Girlfriend: Why do you always lie to me?
Boyfriend: Because it is the only way you will take me seriously!
–Plaza Street, Brooklyn
Overheard by: roux42
Girl on cell (reading US Weekly): Hey, Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee were photographed together! That means there's still hope for me and that guy from the tattoo shop!
–Brookyln Diner, Times Square
Latina: What's with grandma keeping gettin' tattoos that show?
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Justin Case de Foodisbad
Chick to another: The only thing he better get tattooed on his butt is my name!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Angela
Guy to girlfriend: Does that guy over there have a picture of Kim Jong II tattooed on his shoulder? (pause) Or is that his kid? (pause) Cause that's fucked up!
–Brighton Beach
Overheard by: Not sure myself…
Girl: So I hooked up with this guy who had a prison tattoo of an eagle ripping up the communist manifesto. I was like: "God bless America," y'know?
–N train
Overheard by: amen
Girl: I think there’s a pretty good seafood restaurant around here. What kind of fish do you like?
Boyfriend: I really like goldfish.
–E14th & 3rd
Overheard by: one order of koi, please
Boyfriend: You know what I really want to be?
Girlfriend: What, sweetie?
Boyfriend: A crazy old man! The kind with a shotgun that threatens to shoot at kids and steals stuff and never wears his dentures!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Me too!
Hipster girl to boyfriend: And she was like this huge ass chick with this little tiny dude! And I was just like: “Yeah! Size like… doesn’t fuckin’ matter!”
Hipster boyfriend: I totally know!
–F Train
Overheard by: mark alan
Boyfriend: My vibrator is a lot louder than yours.
Girlfriend: Really?
Boyfriend: Yeah, I’m switching to AT&T.
–PATH Train
Overheard by: Not From Jersey City
NYU girl to friend: I mean, I hate him and it’s making my hair fall out but I think our relationship really works.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Man to friend: She wanted to go to dinner on some kind of date shit. I wanna bring her to a bar and fuck her in the bathroom.
–G Train
Overheard by: Sarah
Fat chick to friends: I don’t know. He moved. We weren’t serious, you know? I mean how can you be serious with a man who wanted to move to an Indian reservation? (friends nod in approval) I mean why would you want to move to an Indian reservation anyway? It’s like the projects… but in camp.
–Casa Mono
Overheard by: foodie
Girl on cell: Oh, so you really like this one. (pause) That’s cool, where did he take you? (pause) Wow, he must be balling! That place is mad expensive, yo. (pause) What did you say his name was again? (pause, then hysterical laughing) Girl, I can’t take anyone named Skip-to-my-Lou seriously!
–32nd St & 5th Ave
Boyfriend to girlfriend: Well, if I get sick of you I’ll just find someone else!
–Movie Theater, 32nd & 8th
Overheard by: Happy I’m not his girlfriend.
Guy on train: Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention? Sorry for bothering you, but I’ve been single for a year, and that shit’s not popping… So, any donations of phone numbers, e-mail addresses, or MySpace pages would be greatly appreciated. Thank you and may god bless.
–C Train
Overheard by: gretchen
Girlfriend: I just don’t get it. Dan* can be such a nice guy, such a sweetheart. And then other times, he’s Satan. Something must have happened to him when he was a child.
Boyfriend: He’s from Long Island.
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: Not from Long Island
