Wednesday One-Liners Get Their Mouths Washed Out with Soap

Gleeful little boy: We will, we will fuck you! We will, we will fuck you! [Bursts into giggles.]

–1 train

Overheard by: caitlinj

Guy: I mean, I wasn’t expecting being fucked, either!

–55th & 8th

Overheard by: Mariah

Guy on cell: You know what? Cleo fucked you, so fuck it — we’re fucked.

–Forest Hills

Tough guy with five-year-old: Hey, buddy! Don’t fucking push me! I’ve got my fuckin’ kid here!

–1 train

Overheard by: wba

Hispanic lady with stroller, on cell: Mothafuckin’ [Spanish]… Fuckin’ asshole [Spanish]… Son of a [Spanish]… Fuckin’ mothafuckin’ [Spanish]… Bunny rabbit [Spanish]… Fuck.

–7th Ave, Park Slope

Overheard by: Mike N (doesn’t speak Spanish)

Posted on October 30, 2020
Boys, Dads, Default, Etiquette, Guys, Insults, Kids, Latinos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Music, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Park Slope, Queens, Singing, Street, Violence, Weirdness, Women, Words

Wait– Aren't You a Creative Writing Major?

Girl: And I had to buy my own scalpel, too.
Boy: Well, at least you'll have one now.
Girl: Yeah.
Boy: You never know when you'll need to skin a cat.
Girl: Or a person…

–Columbia University

Overheard by: why do i go to school here?

Posted on September 29, 2020
Boys, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Gay Man's Best Friend, Girls, School and studying, Violence, Weirdness

You're the One Who Said Hot Dogs Aren't Real Food

NYU girl: There's not enough time. You can't get lunch.
NYU boy (running towards a hot dog cart): I can. I'm hungry!
NYU girl (shouting after him): You're fat!

–Washington Square Park

Posted on September 22, 2020
Boys, Diet/Weight, Girls, Junk Food & Fast Food, Physical appearance, Students, Time, Washington Square Park

Like Sucking on a Gumdrop

10-year-old boy #1: Hey sexy stars! Sexy ladies!
10-year-old boy #2: Hey, come give us blowjobs!

–Bensonhurst

Posted on August 10, 2020
BJs, Boys, Brooklyn, Kids

The Lost Jo Dialogue from Facts Of Life

Ghetto girl #1: I'ma fuck her up! I'ma cut that bitch!
Ghetto boy: You gon' kill her?
Ghetto girl #1: Nah, I'ma cut her!
Ghetto girl #2: You can't do that, thas' ya ex!
Ghetto girl #1: Exactly! Thas' why I'ma fuck her up. She broke up with me!

–G Train

Posted on August 7, 2020
Boys, Breaking Up, Fighting and ass kicking, Gays and Lesbians, Ghetto Chicks, Murder, On the Subway, Stab, Threats

Wednesday One-Liners Up the Wazoo

Guy on cell: Wow! That's a lot of cookies. If I had that many cookies, I'd put a couple of them in my ass. (pause). It doesn't matter, I've got the space. I can't eat that many cookies.

–23rd & Lexington

Teen girl to teen boy: Unless you want a 9 millimeter stuck up your asshole.

–Grand Central Terminal

Girl on cell: Well, it's still rectal.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

20-something girl to 20-something guy, quite loudly: Yeah, but putting a metal spike up his ass wasn't exactly what I had in mind!

–28th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Jar Aaron

20-something woman: Baby, I think we're going to keep the Thanksgiving dinner out of my asshole.

–Herkimer St., Brooklyn

Overheard by: M. Fresh

Posted on August 2, 2020
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Asshole, Boys, Brooklyn, Celebrations/Parties, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Food, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, One-liners, Street, Teens, Weapons, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Today It’s a Lolly. Tomorrow It’s a BMW

(waiting in line)
Four-year-old kid: Mommy, I really want a lollipop!
Mom: Uhuh, move up here honey.
Kid: Mom! Just give in, I want a lollipop, okay?
(mother ignores him)
Kid: Just give in, it’s okay, I want one. It’s okay to give in, mom.
(pause)
Kid: Mom, this isn’t going to work for me! I want a lollipop!
Random guy in line: Resist!

–Associated Supermarkets, Bleecker & LaGuardia

Overheard by: CaitlinisNewHere