Worker, waiting in salad line: Ma'am, may I have your bowl?
Woman: Sorry, but no. I only let him toss my salad.
(everyone stares)
–Lexington & 40th St
Worker, waiting in salad line: Ma'am, may I have your bowl?
Woman: Sorry, but no. I only let him toss my salad.
(everyone stares)
–Lexington & 40th St
Customer to clerk: Do you have cock?
Clerk: Yes.
–9th Ave & 52nd St
Overheard by: Oh, you mean caulk
Train conductor: This is New York Penn Station. New York Penn. For those of you who are just waking up, this is Penn Station. If you are supposed to get off at New York Penn, wake up and get off now! (train leaves) Those of you who are just waking up: if you were supposed to get off at New York Penn Station, you just missed it! I told you to get up!
–Amtrak Train
College guy: Last night I woke up on an oriental rug and I had no idea where I was.
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Hispanic lady: Quiet down, some people are trying to sleep!
–6 Train
Man to friend: She can sleep in the closet.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Wait what?
Loud pharmaceutical salesman to doctor: They say that New York is the city that never sleeps, right? You know why? You know why? Herpes!
–Doctor's Office, Astoria
Woman on cell: So I walked into a room and she's there, chained to a chair. And he had a gun, pointing it at me, saying he was gonna shoot me. Then I started crying. And he fucking shot her. (people on bus look worried) And then I woke up.
–M4 Bus
Overheard by: trev
Salesgirl: And this is the Carol's Daughter line of hair and body products. The creator named it after her mother, Carol.
Sarcastic customer: Really? Wow, I'd never imagine that.
Salesgirl, not getting sarcasm: Yeah, isn't that really cool?
–Sephora, W 34th St
Overheard by: nisey79
Black dude in deli, listening to Michael Jackson on radio: I can't hear another Michael Jackson song.
Arab guy behind counter: How old are you?
Black dude: 25.
Arab guy: See, I'm 37. When I was five, until 15, this was all that was playing.
(Billie Jean is now playing) “Don't go around breaking young girls' hearts!”
Black dude: Too late.
–Brooklyn
Summer camp counselor to young summer camper: Why you so afraid? That's something you can see in the Bronx!
Summer camper: Aaahhh!
Summer camp counselor to young summer camper: It's just a pigeon!
–Central Park Zoo
Young white guy to sweating black FedEx delivery man in elevator: Wow, it's really hot outside, no?
Sweating black FedEx man: Man, it's a brotisserie.
–78th St & Madison Ave
Male customer to UPS guy: Do you have a boxcutter I can use?
UPS guy: Uhhh… no. Just use a key or something.
Female suit waiting in line: I've got a boxcutter. (pulls it out of her purse)
UPS guy: What the fuck?
–UPS
Tourist to MTA employee: Do you have a map of, like the touristy places?
MTA employee: Yes.
Tourist: That will show us like, the Eiffel Tower and stuff?
MTA employee: The Eiffel Tower is in France.
–57th Street Subway Station
Overheard by: Elise
Duane Reade employee, pointing to back of store: You can't go in there, the floor's just been waxed.
Swaying drunk girl: So has my vagina, that doesn't mean people aren't allowed in there!
–Duane Reade
