Small child in Bebe's to mannequin wearing zippered skirt: Woo woo!
Grandpa: Zippa zippa!
–34th St & 6th Ave
Small child in Bebe's to mannequin wearing zippered skirt: Woo woo!
Grandpa: Zippa zippa!
–34th St & 6th Ave
Crotchety old Jewish lady, passing Palm Sunday parade: Easter is for amateurs.
–W 72nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Naomi Choy Smith
Little old lady looking down steep basement stairway: Wow…I wouldn't want to be drunk going down those stairs!
–Broome & Essex
Old guy: I'm going out for a smoke. If you see someone take this jacket, shoot to kill.
–Starbucks
Old man with beard, hunched over walker, watching couple holding hands: You two been doin' the nasty, ain't ya?
–27th & Broadway
Old black lady in wheelchair: I mean, what was he gonna do with a dead body?
–Bowery
Overheard by: Lauren
Very old man to another, in thick New York accent: Ya gotta take it…and put it on ya rectum like this. (demonstrates with hand gesture)
–53rd St & 10th Ave
Elderly gentleman to another: From now on, you will obey me!
–Carnegie Hall
Girl on cell: Oh my god, I was watching some porn the other day and saw the creepiest thing! (pause) No, it's not a penis. I've seen penises before. (pause) No, it wasn't an ugly penis. That would be like…what, a herpes penis? (pause) So anyway, I was watching this porno, right? This guy lubed up his head and stuck it into a vagina. Like, up to his friggin'…past his nose! (pause, then laughing) I get off on lubed-up heads? (pause) Yeah, he was bald.
–11th St & 5th Ave
Preppy guy: If it's made out of brass, it's not pornographic.
–Brooklyn Botanical Gardens
Overheard by: Hunter (aka
Guy on cell: Yeah, so I got this one called Stick it in Deep.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: j
Indignant law student: Look, the fact is, the videos of animal torture were not being used for sexual gratification!
–Fordham Law School
Beatnik professor: The internet is only good for two things. Online banking is not one of them. If you online bank, then you're fucked for life. They'll steal your identity. The internet is good for porn, and for getting underwear on sale. Now, I know many people may find buying a brassiere online to be strange, but women do it anyway. Now, the internet is great for porn, but you can't do kiddie porn. If you do kiddie porn then they'll get you. We all know who they are.
–Queens College
Girl #1: So he's like, “I saw your Facebook photos of you outside of your work uniform. You really like to party.” And I'm like, “Well, I'm 25 and single, what else do you think I like to do?”
Girl #2: Yeah, I mean really. But you know, it's assumed that if you're under 27, all you do is party and sleep around.
–Kew Gardens
Overheard by: CollegiateCutie
Guy to friend: So, Kirsten's cute.
Friend: I only like her in her leggings.
–NYU
Overheard by: yomama
Unstylish woman to woman in fur coat: Fur is murder!
Woman in coat: You should be murdered.
–6th Ave & 9th St
Overheard by: ilove fur
Hot Latina: He doesn't look like someone I'd want to fuck. But neither does my boyfriend… Well, depending on what he's wearing.
–3rd Ave & 46th St
Overheard by: SillyUrn
Girl to friend: If my boyfriend ever asked me to do that, I would get a new boyfriend, preferably the blow-up one that I already have in my bed.
–Dorm, NYU
Overheard by: amused
Girl in leopard print pajamas: My boyfriend is the voice on Dora the Explorer. Name dropped.
–Elevator, NYU
Overheard by: babaganoush the great
Teen boy on cell: Hi, Lisa, it's Matt. Sarah and I were just talking about how much you love tools, so I went to Home Depot today and picked you up a new boyfriend.
–N Train
Overheard by: SueCity
Yuppie to friends: So my boyfriend called me last night and asked me, "Hey, do you even know my name?" and I said, "Well…no."
–1 Train
Overheard by: yams
Seven-year-old boy: This hat is fake.
Seven-year-old girl: Hats can't be fake. Hats can't even be real.
–6 Train
Overheard by: oldsamcole
Dad to kids on freezing day: Who wants to go in this jeans store to get warm?
Preteen girl: I love jeans!
Slightly younger girl: I love jeans!
Little brother: I hate jeans! (starts to cry)
–Broadway & Spring St
Professional-sounding female on cell in bathroom stall: What? (sounds of toilet paper roll) In the bathroom? No! (indignantly) I…I'm…near the bathroom!
–Women's Bathroom, FAO Schwartz
Overheard by: near the computer
Girl to friend in bathroom stall: That crack in the door is big enough for me to see the crack of 'yo ass.
–Women's Bathroom, Hunter College
Man exiting bathroom stall to waiting man: No, no, no. Feces.
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: matt
Black loud cleaning lady to Asian woman: Excuse me, miss? Why you gotta be leaving the seat up? You always leave the seat up! Putting the seat up is okay, but if you put it up, put it down!
–Ladies Room, LIRR
Overheard by: BK
Guy on cell in toilet stall: Now I am unbuckling my belt. (pause) Now I am unzipping my pants. (pause) Now I am pulling down my pants. (pause) Now I am pulling down my underwear. (pause) Now I am sitting down.
–Men's Room, Billy Elliott
Old guy peeing in a urinal, with childlike delight and glee: Wheeeee! Wheeeeeeeeee! Wooooooooooooo! Wheeeeeeeee!
–Men's Room, McDonald's
