Female conductor: Do we have a line-up, partner?
Male conductor: Yabba dabba dooooooo!
–Manhattan Bound E Train
Overheard by: I Am McLoVey
Female conductor: Do we have a line-up, partner?
Male conductor: Yabba dabba dooooooo!
–Manhattan Bound E Train
Overheard by: I Am McLoVey
DOB lady #1: You ever see that stupid show, Family Guy?
DOB lady #2, with conviction: No. I don’t get involved in that mess. It’s a place you won’t come out.
–Brooklyn Dept. of Buildings
Overheard by: Choheat
Conductor #1: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. This is the Manhattan-bound, Sixth Avenue local F train. The next stop is…
Conductor #2: There is no next stop. Let’s go.
Conductor #1: Stand clear of the closing doors.
–F Train
Male professor #1: Your daughter is starting to look like you.
Male professor #2: That’s comforting.
–NYU
Overheard by: ann
Dude on cell: I’m okay with it. As long as nobody slaps me or calls me gay or spits on me. Those are my three things. As long as nobody does those three things.
–21st St & 8th Ave
Asian girl: You gave me the gay!
–C Train
Overheard by: Jordan
Female cop to male cop: You a queer? For real, you queer? You a queer? You a queer? Oh, I didn’t know that. Okay. [Nods.]
–C Train
Barnard girl to friends: I don’t think he’s gay, I just think he has problems having sex with women.
–Columbia University Steps
Overheard by: John Jay
Man to friend: See, I told you this was a gay neighborhood, look at all the women!
–Montague Street, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: glekapolis
Loudly homophobic guy: Gay! Gay! My ass hurts from watching that preview!
–AMC Theater, Times Square
Overheard by: Lo
Female office worker: None of those mermaids had nipples.
Male office worker: Well, that’s because fish don’t nurse!
–Office Building, W 46th St
Overheard by: The Green Cat
Dreadlocked sales clerk: What I need is a bronze princess.
Latina sales clerk: I’m bronze.
Dreadlocked sales clerk: Yeah, but you ain’t a princess.
–Billionaire Boys Club, SoHO
Overheard by: Russ Wall
20-something woman to friends: I mean they said they’d pay me $20 for it. I would show them one for $20, why not? One boob for $20? I mean, maybe they thought it was a big deal since we were at work.
–N Train Platform, 34th St Station
Overheard by: Regina
[Two young woman crossing the street. One turns to the the other and grabs her breast.]Grabber girl: Honk!
[Both giggle and cross street into Victoria’s Secret.]
–34th & Broadway
Overheard by: Chockita
Female boss to employee in low-cut shirt: Your boobs are awesome. But -I’m just gonna have to do this. [Pulls up employee’s neckline.] Because…I just wanna dive in there. Head-first.
–Theater, St Marks Place
Overheard by: fhqwhgads
Professor: So you see, men only like women’s boobs because of cleavage.
–Bard High School Early College
Tourist girls: [In unison from the door] Booooobies! [Run to the big naked lady sculpture and poses to take a picture].
–Columbus Circle
Teen girl to friend: Julia! Put your titties away!
–14th & 6th
Bored, drunken guy in a silent train cart: So does anyone wanna show their titties?
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Not drunk enough to flash
Boy, to uninterested girl: You gotta date me! What you mean you only date 25-year-olds? Do you know what 25-year-old guys do?? They masturbate. All the time. It’s true -my dad told me.
–Fordham Road Subway Station
Overheard by: …as opposed to guys of all other ages??
Girl on cell: They keep doing it, and it’s ridiculous. I mean, they should just whack it off in the bathroom like everybody else does.
–Auditions, 35th & 8th
Chick on cell: What’s wrong with jerking off in the baggage claim at the start of a three day weekend?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Surly stocker to fellow coworker: If they keep calling me upstairs, I am not going to have time to eat, or masturbate, or anything!
–Duane Reade, 58th & 8th
Overheard by: I’m busy too
Boy on cell: I’ve never gone all the way with anyone -you know? [Pause.] … I’m just enjoying myself.
–Broadway , Near Columbia University
Overheard by: julie
Passenger, to MTA workers: Excuse me, but does this train stop at 33rd street?
MTA worker #1: With a hope and a prayer.
MTA worker #2: Isn’t that right! Hahaha.
–6 Train
Overheard by: honeybudur
