How Many Weight Watchers Points Are in a Wednesday One-Liner?

Average-sized woman on cell: He said "big boned." Yeah, "you're a big boned girl… Like your dad, kinda big boned." (pause) Yeah, so, I didn't really feel like eating much after that.

–Queens

Overheard by: bdlilrbt

Girl to friend: I always think I'm a thin person, but then I look into the mirror and realize I'm not.

–3rd & 13th

Super skinny Japanese girl: I brought my juice with me. Then I ordered dessert. But my juice just looked better than eating dessert.

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: dignell

Middle aged women to friend: Yeah, we took her in for a few weeks. She was fine, but didn't eat much. But that's because she kind of has an eating disorder. (they burst out into a fit of laughter)

–F Train

Girl getting soda to friend: You know, it's the ice that makes you fat. I heard that somewhere.

–Cafeteria, Marymount Manhattan

Overheard by: Hannah

Posted on March 31, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, College, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Drinks, Food, Friends, Girls, Japanese, Laughter, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Psychology, Queens, Skinny People, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Taking Diet Advice from Suzanne Somers Is So 1994.

Guidette: This weekend I'm going on a fat diet.
Disinterested guy: True.
Guidette: Suzanne Somers did it…I can't believe it worked.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Shaggy

Posted on March 21, 2010
About Celebrities, Diet/Weight, Guidettes, Guys, Trains Not Subway

Tonight's Movie: Lean Girls

Teenage girl #1: Who is Jacqueline?
Teenage girl #2: She's my fat friend.
Teenage girl #1: I had one of those. Got rid of her like two months ago. I got sick of the whole “I'm hungry, let's go eat” thing.
Teenage girl #2: Yeah, I'm thinking of getting rid of her too. I mean, she was cool for a while, but…
Teenage girl #1, interrupting: No! Fat has never been cool!

–6 Train

Overheard by: Have 2 of those

Posted on March 19, 2010
Assholes, Diet/Weight, Food, Friendship, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Teens

Next: “Baby Weight“

20-something Asian girl #1: People don't lose their baby fat until they are, like, 20.
20-something Asian girl #2: Yeah, I lost some my freshman year.
20-something Asian girl #1: Yeah, now it is just, like, fat.

–Uptown R Train

Overheard by: No Baby Fat

Posted on February 16, 2010
Age/Aging, Asians, Diet/Weight, Girls, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Time

Let Us Pray

Orthodox Jewish man #1: We're sending her to Westchester for her eating disorder.
Orthodox Jewish man #2: Is that like a fat farm? Maybe she'll lose weight.

–Manhattan Beach Park

Overheard by: Vespertinas

Posted on February 8, 2010
Diet/Weight, Food, Health and Hygiene, Jews, Parks

The Pot Calling the Kettle “Wednesday One-Liner”

Guy blocking overcrowded subway car to elderly woman trying to squeeze by: Hey! You could say "excuse me!"

–Uptown N Train

Woman, eating falafel: I'm trying to stay away from fried foods.

–40th St

Five foot, 250-pound woman to friend: Wow! That girl in front of us is fat!

–42nd & 8th

Man on cell: Maybe you're the one with the fucking anger problem! Dick!

–Outside The Met

Overheard by: Yellow!

Posted on February 3, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Apologies, Diet/Weight, Ethnic Food, Fat People, Food, Guys, Insults, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, Public Transportation, Strangers, Street, Stupidity, The Met, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

…Transvestite

(couple enters elevator, making out and groping each other as they enter)
Meathead boyfriend to semi-attractive girlfriend: Are they going to make me sign out and then sign in when we get back?
Semi-attractive girlfriend: I'm not sure, I think probably.
Meathead boyfriend: Well, if it helps keep you safe…
Semi-attractive girlfriend: Speaking of safe, I think I have another stalker. But this time, he's 6'3″, 230 pounds, and a fireman.

–Columbia Dorm

Overheard by: Z

Posted on January 7, 2010
Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Couples, Diet/Weight, Elevators, Height, Jobs & Careers, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Meatheads

It's the Birth Defect Nobody Talks About

Snobby Upper East Side lady to obviously pregnant lady: There's no room in here! Ugh, move over! You're just too fat!
Pregnant lady, slightly baffled, What a bitch!
Snobby lady, with nose in the air: Yes, I am.

–6 Train

Overheard by: sara

Posted on January 1, 2010
Diet/Weight, Insults, On the Subway, Only in New York, Preggers, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Public Transportation, Women

Hey, Boys and Girls, It's Wednesday One-Liner Time!

30-something blonde in office attire on cell: You need to tell Vanessa that she can't be on the show because she's not overweight enough, and s not unattractive enough.

–Whole Foods Market, Chelsea

Syracuse University girl, going up escalator: I feel like I'm in Star Trek! (begins humming Indiana Jones theme)

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Mickey

20-something gaysian: Yeah, he watches Hannah Montana so I don't get why he makes fun of me for watching iCarly!

–Washington Square Park

Teen: I watched I Love Lucy last night. She's funny; she's like the Jim Carrey of the 1920s or something.

–UA School of Music and Art

20-something preppy kid to mother: You know, they really should have a reality show about Midtown.

–54th St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Pedro

Posted on December 9, 2009
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Beauty, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clerks, College, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Disney, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Music, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Physical appearance, Preppies, Queer guys, Students, Stupidity, Teens, TV, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Whole Foods

Wednesday One-Liners Go Directly to My Thighs

Teeny tiny gay guy: I used to be so skinny in high school.

–Staten Island

Teenage girl to another: I mean, why bother to eat anything if you're just gonna shit it all out?

–L Train

Woman carrying baby to friend: Also, I burn an extra 500 calories a day just by breastfeeding!

–5th Ave & 16th St

Overheard by: Tracy

20-something guy, about Sour Patch Kids gummy candy: They're fat-free, so they're good for you!

–4 Train

Six-year-old girl, eating bagel: All of the fat from this is going to go straight to my ass!

–A Train

Overheard by: that's just great

Posted on December 2, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Diet/Weight, Food, Friends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nostalgia, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Poop, Queer guys, Questions, Rack, Staten Island, Stupidity, Teens, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Diet/Weight

Next: “Baby Weight“