Wednesday Off-the-Rack-Liners

20-something man on cell: I just bought another Transformers t-shirt. That means I am one Transformers t-shirt away from being able to only wear Transformers t-shirts.

–9th Ave & 45th St

Overheard by: Serena

Male art teacher: What's wrong with chiffon? If I were home right now, I would be wearing chiffon.

–Hunter College High School

Bar owner to college kid wearing suit: Look atchu all dressed up. What, are you goin' on a game show or somethin?

–Citi Bar

Overheard by: Lulu

20-something girl on cell: You should've known when you liked his clothes that he was going to be overly emotional. No one who dresses that good can hold it all together.

–Locker Room, Crunch Gym

Guy to group of friends: Yeah, so I said to him, "Mike, it's a problem when you wearin' the same clothes as your daughter.'"

–5th Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: Sue

Posted on August 14, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Bosses, Clothing, Family Ties, Friends, Girls, Guys, Gyms, Home, Sweet Home, Hunter, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Pop Culture, Questions, Shopping, Students, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, TV, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liner's Last Dance with Mary Jane

Professor: We will talk about the JDC–the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee. And no, they were not dispensing marijuana.

–Queens College

Overheard by: ShaniP

Trashy JAP on cell: So I told her I was selling, and that bitch was like, "Katrina, for how much?" And I was like "Oh my god, mom, it doesn't matter how much the weed is going for, all that matters is the quality!"

–7th Ave, Park Slope

Overheard by: penelope

Random stranger to teens: You want to buy some weed? Just come back to my mom's house!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Rhian

College student on cell: Mom, you've got to stop smoking so much weed. I mean, fuck!

–Time Square

Random dude on street: I got it all! Liquor, alcohol, marijuana, Chips Ahoy! I got it!

–44th & Broadway

Overheard by: Lagster

Street vendor: Prada bags, Louis Vuitton bags, Gucci bags, marijuana bags… (everyone looks over at him) Hey, I gotta make money somehow.

–Times Square

Overheard by: mary jane

Posted on August 13, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Drinking & Drunk People, Family Ties, Food, Guys, History & Geography, Insults, JAPs, Knock-Offs, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Park Slope, Queens, Queens College, School and studying, Strangers, Street, Students, Teachers/Professors, Teens, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Weirdness

This Is Not a Hard Problem

50-something yuppie guy to another: My wife just doesn't understand that men go through menopause too. It's not just a woman's problem. These past few months I can tell that I've begun my menopause.
Teenage girl sitting across from two yuppies: I'm pretty sure they call what you're going through “erectile dysfunction.”

–F Train

Overheard by: Sophia

Posted on August 11, 2015
Age/Aging, Comebacks, Erections, Family Ties, Gender issues, Health and Hygiene, On the Subway, Penis, Teens, Yuppies

Wednesday One-liners by Eve Ensler

Teen boy: You aren’t pussy-whipped. She’s your mother.

–77th between 2nd & 3rd

Overheard by: Carl G

Posted on August 11, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Family Ties, Teens, Upper East Side

Drawing on Familiar Examples Is Just Good Pedagogy

Little boy: Daddy, why did you yell at that man?
Dad: Because he’s an asshole! … Like your brother!

–Penn Station

Posted on August 10, 2015
Anger Management, Dads, Family Ties, Kids, Nicknames & name calling, Penn Station

Does It Help That We’re Related?

Teen boy #1: Dude, are you gay?
Teen boy #2: No. Why?
Teen boy #1: Because I saw you whacking off to your cousin! Did you shoot on him?
Teen boy #2: No, we were comparing sizes!
Teen boy #1: Well, that’s gay. You’re never suppose to show your stuff to another guy!

–5th Ave

Overheard by: Austin Crumpler

Posted on August 10, 2015
Default, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Gripes, Guys, Manhattan, Masturbation, Teens

Psh, That's Awesome Human Productivity

Girl #1: You know what's ghetto, though?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: When an aunt is younger than the niece. That's ghetto.

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Vinny

Posted on August 7, 2015
Age/Aging, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Family Ties, Girls, Questions

Shrooms Are for Funerals. Cocaine Is for Weddings

Girl #1: I mean, really, she was doing cocaine at her father’s memorial service.
Girl #2: I know. Me and Ashley were like, “We’re no prudes, but there’s such a thing as decorum.”

–84th & Madison

Posted on August 7, 2015
Cocaine, Death, Default, Etiquette, Family Ties, Girls, Upper East Side, Weirdness

Only If You Do It with Mad Flair.

Polite, cute seven-year-old black boy to mother: Mommy, how was your day?
Hot mom: Nice, I had a very nice day. Thank you for asking. How was your day?
Little boy: Pimpin! Can I play Wii when we get home, please?

–B Train

Posted on August 7, 2015
Black People, Family Ties, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Questions, Should've Used a Condom, Video Games

I Knew La Cosa Nostra Had to Be Involved

Little girl: Hey! Come over here!
Coffee guy: I can’t! I’m working! Why don’t you come over here?
Little girl: I can’t! I’ve got family here!
Manager lady: Hey, so does he! All our workers are family here!

–Starbucks, Union Square SE

Overheard by: Chris R

Posted on August 7, 2015
Bosses, Family Ties, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Offers and requests, Starbucks, Talking/Convos, Vendors & Street Performers

Family Ties