Foreign lady: So, a couple of years ago my country floated away from Venezuela.
Foreign man: Good for you!
–1 train
Foreign lady: So, a couple of years ago my country floated away from Venezuela.
Foreign man: Good for you!
–1 train
Russian guy, about the cold: Ah, such beautiful weather, I love it!
Daughter: Mmm-hmmm, whatever.
Russian guy: If I was a negro, I wouldn’t like this weather, either.
–Orloff Ave, Bronx
TA: Is anyone in here Canadian? Good. I didn’t want to offend anyone.
–NYU
Woman with thick German accent about people with thick Indian accents: You can’t understand anything these people say because of their accents!
–LaGuardia airport
Overheard by: Lolo
Girl on cell: They are Mexicans dressed up as soccer moms in minivans dressed up as dirty Mexicans, and on the back of their minivans they have a Mexican flag and a bumper sticker that says, ‘Cross country is my favorite sport’!
–Train from Secaucus to Penn Station
Overheard by: uulovesuu
Foreign street vendor to another: If you kill a German, it’s different.
–Prince & Greene St
Shocked waiter to very smug waiter: Whoa! You’re even more expensive than a Russian girlfriend!
–Bread restaurant, Prince St
Overheard by: Sheila Michaels
English exchange student: I like New York, but it has just been so cold!
Local student: This is nothing. Where I’m from in Minnesota it’s been 15 below.
English exchange student: Wow! You must not have much of a homeless problem there — they all just die!
–Downtown M4 bus
Bloke #1 looking at subway map: It’s not actually that big a city, is it?
Bloke #2: Yeah, and there’s really no need for this bit here.
Bloke #1: That’s where all the rappers grew up.
–L station, 3rd Ave
Overheard by: miss blanky-poo
Russian guy on cell: I went to see Saw III. Best movie ever — the girl in front of me fainted in the beginning of the movie! Five minutes into the movie she just fainted, and her boyfriend started calling for help. I called an ambulance, they took her away… That movie was awesome!
–Brooklyn-bound Q train
Overenthusiastic male student: Oh! I met Borat! He goes to NYU, right?
–Hunter College
Guy to everyone in theater: Shhh, I’m recording this!
–Movie theater, Court St, Brooklyn
Blonde: Yeah, so I watch Brokeback Mountain like it’s my Bible. I hang on every word, ’cause I really want to know how gay people talk.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Stina
Guy on cell: 28 Days was just stupid. Zombies aren’t like that. Dawn of the Dead is the most realistic portrayal of zombies I’ve ever seen!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Philip Niosi
Chick to hipsters: I did my first autopsy to The Wizard of Oz.
–The Village, near Mulberry
Overheard by: DC Diva
JAP: I have nothing against Australians or anything — I even made out with a few the other night — but I am not going to Outback.
–Spring St
Overheard by: Jason
JAP on cell: And I was like, ‘Have you been in the new building yet?’ And he was like, ‘I know, it’s a maze.’ And I was like, ‘Oh my god, you Abreve, too?!’ And he was like, ‘Um, no… I mean, like, a… maze.’
–Bryant Park
JAP to chihuahua trying to pee on sidewalk: Focus! Focus!
–79th & Broadway
Overheard by: Lisa
20-something JAP on cell: Did you call Dr. Stein* for me? Why not?! … But I don’t want to call him! Why can’t you just call him for me? I’m not calling him! … But my asshole is still bleeding!
–Duane Reade, Chambers & Broadway
JAP on cell: So, I met up with him, and he asked me if I was anorexic! I was like, ‘No, but thanks for noticing!’ He got all mad, though. I think his sister died of anorexia or something. Whatever, at least I know I look great.
–88th & Park
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Chick: Where are you from?
Male employee: Mexico. Where are you from?
Chick: Iran.
Male employee: Where?
Chick, simulating gunfire: Iran. You know, terrorists. Bang, bang!
Male employee: Oh. Yeah.
–Chipotle, E 8th St
Indian girl: You see, in Psychology, gay isn’t a disease — you can’t treat gay.
Pakistani guy: Oh, I can treat gay, you watch me.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Surfer Dude #1
Waitress: You guys are not from around here?
English tourist: No, we are from England.
Waitress: You sure do speak good English.
English tourist: Most of us do, back home.
–Denny’s
