Silly Rabbit, Wednesday One-Liners Are for Kids

Excited little girl to friend: Hey! Wanna see my room? It's really cool! I got a bed!

–Whole Foods, Tribeca

Three-year-old girl, excitedly pointing at picture on store front: Look mommy, it's Buddha! It's Buddha!

–Ave B b/w 3rd & 4th

Overheard by: EVgirl

Young girl to father: Only 1,486 days until I'm 18 and then I can do whatever the heck I want.

–E 78th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Brandon F

4-year-old girl to father trying to board overcrowded train: Jesus, we should have taken the bus! I told you we should have taken the bus.

–Uptown 4 Train

Overheard by: kdice

Five-year-old son to father who just dropped BlackBerry: What the hell just happened here?

–Great Lawn, Central Park

Four-year-old girl: I'mma hustla! I'mma, I'mma hustla!

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Nina

Posted on December 5, 2014
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Blackberry, Buddha, Central Park, Dads, Friends, Insults, Kids, Offers and requests, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Public Transportation, Should've Used a Condom, Time, Upper East Side, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Whole Foods, Wishes & desires

I Love Table Tennis, However

Young man #1: Do you want to play ping pong?
Young man #2: No.
Young man #1: Do you play ping pong?
Young man #2: No.
Young man #1: REALLY?????? You don’t play ping pong?????

–N. 11th St, Williamsburg

Posted on December 4, 2014
Friends, Sports, Stupidity, Williamsburg

That Poor Blow-Up Doll

Chick #1: I think he beats her, you know.
Chick #2: No!
Chick #1: Yeah. But that’s just, like, how boys get out their frustration.

–Central Park

Posted on December 4, 2014
Central Park, Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Violence

No Wednesday One-Liner, No Love

50-something beefy man in wife beater on cell: Yo! I've got a bag of condoms and Jolly Ranchers!

–14th & 6th

Overheard by: Funky Monkey

Preppy girl to friend on phone: I mean… I've had to take Plan B twice this week already!

–2nd Ave & 9th

Drunken street vendor: Buy these Obama condoms! Flavored with hope, they'll get you through "hard" times!

–Times Square

Woman on cell: I got home to take a shower and he stuffs a bunch of condoms in his pocket right in front of me and then walks out the door. I mean what the hell is that?

–Astor Place

Man to woman on escalator: Well, just next time, remember to use protection!

–Babies"R"Us, Union Square

Overheard by: miziz

Posted on December 3, 2014
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Cleanliness, Condoms, Drunks, Erections, Food, Friends, Men, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Preppies, President, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Store, Street, The Village, Time, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

That Just Means He Likes Kids

Girl #1: So this is the man you want to marry?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: And you said there were how many maggots on the turkey?

–3rd & B

Posted on December 3, 2014
Animals & Nature, Food, Friends, Girls, Marriage, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

You'll Get Neither Permission Nor Forgiveness from Me

Guy: So the project is extended to next Thursday?
Guy's friend: Yup.
Guy, super happy: Yes! Can I go hump a Buffulo?

–American Eagle Outfitters

Posted on December 2, 2014
Animals & Nature, Friends, Guys, Offers and requests, Sex, Store

Do Girls Ever Wednesday One-Liner?

Hobo to passer-by: Arrrr! I'm a fart knocker!

–7th Ave & 25th St

Bimbette: Wow! I ate olives today and I didn't fart!

–L Train

Girl to friend: She farts makeup! She's so glamorous!

–Deli

Overheard by: Straining to hear the rest of the conversation…

30-something tall woman to friend: I used to live in three houses. Now I live in a closet. It's so small that I have to hang my parakeet out the window just to take a fart!

–Ave B & 3rd St

Overheard by: Mike

Older Greek lady to friend: I don't know Celia. I think it is better for everyone if I have gas.

–Astoria

Overheard by: David

Posted on November 30, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Astoria, Bimbettes, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Delis, Farting & Burping, Food, Foreigners, Friends, Girls, Hobos, Home, Sweet Home, Old People, On the Subway, Strangers, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

The DVDA is Probably Good for the Guys, At Least

Teen girl #1: …he like kissed me and never called!
Teen girl #2: Shit…
Teen girl #1: My mother always say to me, “You gotta have a back up, you gotta have a back up!”
Teen girl #2: Yo.
Teen girl #1: But look at her, she like fuckin’ four guys at the same time, and it don’t do her no good.

–Port Authority

Overheard by: Hairy Toe

Posted on November 30, 2014
Bimbettes, Compare/Contrast, Friends, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Parents, Port Authority, Promiscuity, Teens

Condescension Is Like Vitamin B

Girl: So I swept everything into a pile and I walked away for like, a second, and when I come back this little Mexican girl and her mom are seriously dancing in this pile of garbage and totally fucking up my sweeping. Why would anyone do that?!
Guy: Dude, they were Mexican. Garbage is like water to them.

–Urban Outfitters

Posted on November 28, 2014
Assholes, Cleanliness, Dancing, Friends, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Store

Like a Bull Moose

Guy #1: I saw Jerry Stiller naked.
Guy #2: [Silence.]Guy #1: You know, Ben Stiller’s dad.
Guy #2: … I know.

–14th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Kendrick

Posted on November 28, 2014
About Celebrities, Friends, Nudity, Union Square and East Village

Friends