Guy: So the project is extended to next Thursday?
Guy's friend: Yup.
Guy, super happy: Yes! Can I go hump a Buffulo?
–American Eagle Outfitters
Guy: So the project is extended to next Thursday?
Guy's friend: Yup.
Guy, super happy: Yes! Can I go hump a Buffulo?
–American Eagle Outfitters
Hobo to passer-by: Arrrr! I'm a fart knocker!
–7th Ave & 25th St
Bimbette: Wow! I ate olives today and I didn't fart!
–L Train
Girl to friend: She farts makeup! She's so glamorous!
–Deli
Overheard by: Straining to hear the rest of the conversation…
30-something tall woman to friend: I used to live in three houses. Now I live in a closet. It's so small that I have to hang my parakeet out the window just to take a fart!
–Ave B & 3rd St
Overheard by: Mike
Older Greek lady to friend: I don't know Celia. I think it is better for everyone if I have gas.
–Astoria
Overheard by: David
Teen girl #1: …he like kissed me and never called!
Teen girl #2: Shit…
Teen girl #1: My mother always say to me, “You gotta have a back up, you gotta have a back up!”
Teen girl #2: Yo.
Teen girl #1: But look at her, she like fuckin’ four guys at the same time, and it don’t do her no good.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Hairy Toe
Girl: So I swept everything into a pile and I walked away for like, a second, and when I come back this little Mexican girl and her mom are seriously dancing in this pile of garbage and totally fucking up my sweeping. Why would anyone do that?!
Guy: Dude, they were Mexican. Garbage is like water to them.
–Urban Outfitters
Guy #1: I saw Jerry Stiller naked.
Guy #2: [Silence.]Guy #1: You know, Ben Stiller’s dad.
Guy #2: … I know.
–14th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Kendrick
Overly excited 20-something girl: It's Valentine's Day on Sunday.
Less excited friend: I know, I have a paper due then.
–Grand Central Station
60-something veteran: Are you on google?
60-something friend: Yeah, I'm on google. I'm on everything!
–Dunkin' Donuts
Overheard by: CJ
JAP, reflecting: I think I might be a drug dealer.
–Spot’s Café
JAP: Yeah! I went to Israel this summer! And they all looked at me like I was an idiot! They don’t have Uggs there… They don’t have burgers… They don’t have loosies!
–Hunter College
Jappy teen: I’ve never done anything for society and I’ve done just fine.
–University & 12th
JAP: Bitch, "Jewish" is a religion!
–17th & 6th
NYU JAP: I told my dad that I couldn’t go to the scholarship fair because I had to get my nails done, and I think we’re still in a fight!
–Goddard Hall, NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Maya G.
Jappy girl to friend: [Sighs.] I’m losing faith in humanity, one orgasm at a time.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Ponine
Non-hipster dude: I've looked everywhere, I can't find a soda anywhere!
Non-hipster friend: It's Williamsburg. I don't think they have soda.
–Brooklyn
Dude: You know, she slept with that guy you slept with.
Chick: What? Which one?
Dude: Richard?
Chick: Oh my god, she always does that.
–Williamsburg
