Guy: I love porn. I've got XTube bookmarked.
Slightly older guy: You're a gay man in New York: of course you love porn. It's in the rulebook.
–42nd St, near Broadway
Guy: I love porn. I've got XTube bookmarked.
Slightly older guy: You're a gay man in New York: of course you love porn. It's in the rulebook.
–42nd St, near Broadway
Guy #1: You know Jason?
Guy #2: The gay one?
Guy #1: Yeah.
Guy #2: What about him?
Guy #1: I saw him kiss a girl.
Guy #2: Was it like a friend kiss?
Guy #1: No, there was tongue and everything.
Guy #2: So he’s not gay?
Guy #1: I don’t think so.
Guy #2: Fuck! Now I can’t brag that I have a gay friend anymore!
Guy #1: Don’t worry, you can still say he’s bi since we still have no proof that he is not interested in guys.
Guy #2: That’s a good idea. Interesting…you know what, that’s what I’ll do, cause there is just no way in hell that Jason is straight.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Ting
NYU guy to pal: If you could pick any five girls, and one of them had to be Tom Cruise…
–St. Mark’s & 3rd
Overheard by: Lexey
Man: If Leonard Cohen were a hamster, I’d kill him.
–Freddy’s Bar, Brooklyn
Hobo: Donald Trump is my cousin, but he doesn’t know it because I came out black.
–Museum Mile
Teen girl on cell: Hey, I just read that Brad and Angelina decided to adopt their next kid from Vietnam. You totally have a shot… No, seriously, you should apply. I mean, I guess you’d have to try out and stuff, but it’d so be worth it.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Whitehall St
Skinny black goth girl: Am I gay, or am I Paris Hilton?!
–Cardozo High School
MTA elevator operator to another: You don’t have to be forgiven. Clint Eastwood taught us that.
–1 train station elevator, 168th St
Overheard by: martin gehrke
Guy on cell in line: Yeah, she’s messing around with Michael Jordan and shit! You do not want your lady messing around with Michael Jordan!
–Rite Aid, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: dutchman
Young gay guy, crying: But I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Old gay guy: They why did I catch you with Robert*'s dick in your mouth?
Young gay guy: Well, he is my boss…
–Soho Grand Hotel
Drunk girl, holding hands with a boy and a girl: Oh, this is the bisexual block!
Less drunk friend: Uh… Let's take a picture of this diner so I don't forget it.
–14th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Teri
Foreign girl #1 to lesbian entering ladies' room: I'm sorry, this is a ladies' room.
Lesbian: I'm a woman.
Foreign girl #1: Oh my god, I'm so sorry! That's the worst thing I've ever done!
Foreign girl #2, coming out of stall: Wait, no. You're so not a woman!
Lesbian: You wanna see the ta-tas?
–Sidewalk Bar, 6th & Ave A
20-something burnout: Would you like to know what this girl said last night, when she was tripping balls and the cops came to my house?
Friend: She thought she was in a nursing home!
20-something burnout: She was screaming all this crazy stuff. (pause) Wait, are you offended by dirty words?
Friend: Go for it.
20-something burnout: “You dick!”
Friend: Excuse me?
20-something burnout: “You fucking nigger faggot! Bitch-ass spic! I'm a fucking lesbian! You're a fucking lesbian!”
–Mineola Ave, Queens
Suit #1: What are you doing this weekend?
Suit #2: I think I'm going to go jet skiing. Wanna go jet skiing?
Suit #1: Yeah sure, I'll go.
Suit #2 (answers phone): Yeah, I'm going jet skiing this weekend. Do you wanna come? Yeah, I'm going with Steve*. (pause) No, three dudes on a jet ski isn't gay. (turns to friend) Is it?
Suit #1: Two dudes is questionable, but three is definitely gay.
–Broome Street Bar
NYU JAP on phone to mother (enraged): Ugh, mom! No! Wearing seasonally inappropriate outerwear will not make me sweat and lose weight!
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Maeve
Woman in line with friend at Duane Reade, reading can of energy drink: Wait. There's carbs in here? Like bread carbs? Carbs are bread, right? Cause when people go on, like, a low carb diet, they don't eat any bread, right? But I still don't understand why there's bread in here. Whatever. It doesn't even taste like bread.
–Duane Reade
10-year-old kid to friend: So you're a year older than me, but you're 20 pounds lighter? That's fucked up.
–Christopher St & Waverly Place
Overheard by: sharknife
Girl: You know how some people are social drinkers? I'm a social eater.
–NYU
Overheard by: ninja z
Asian fashionista: Yeah, I think I'm like a size 12 in boys.
–Conde Nast Building
Overheard by: jackattack
Loud guy on cell: Actually, I can't be bulimic anymore because I have no gag reflex. I've been sucking too much cock.
–34th & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Alis
Dude: Is it true the city is outlawing fat trannies?
–14th & 9th
Girl on cell: … But the conversation is getting so good! I’m announcing my attraction to trannies, and you’re talking about the S-and-M relationship of our friends!
–Harlem
Overheard by: Poogins
Crazy drunk man to 11-year-olds: Suck my dick, bitch! And my pussy!
–F train
Tranny to Jehovah’s Witnesses: You don’t know nothing about God. I ain’t got no testicles. You can’t tell me about God.
–149th & St. Nicholas
Overheard by: KcB
Chubby guy: I don’t hang with women with tits smaller than mine.
–Sidewalk cafe, Greenpoint
Overheard by: Big Larry
Butch woman on cell: So, Jennifer — you know, my ex-wife’s boyfriend…
–Payless Shoe Source, 34th St
