Duly Noted

Large black guy: ' Scuse me, do you know David Jensen?
Attractive gay guy: Nope, sorry.
Large black guy: Oh, man, cuz you look just like him, have you ever been on tv? Friends?
Attractive gay guy: Nope.
Large black guy: What about Baywatch?
Attractive gay guy: Nope, sorry, pretty sure the last episode of Baywatch aired when I was eleven.
Large black guy: You must get all sorts of shorties, right?
Attractive gay guy: Ha! Well, maybe if I wasn't gay.
Large black guy: Oh, man! I'm gonna have David text you, look out for his number.
Attractive gay guy: Uhhh, sure thing.
Large black guy, one stop later, as they're both getting off the train: Yo, just so you know, ain't nothing like pussy.

–7 Train

Posted on May 6, 2010
Age/Aging, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Fat People, Gays and Lesbians, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Queer guys, TV, Vagina

Hey, There's Nothing Gay About a Plate Job

Big guy #1: Naw, man I'm straight as a plate!
Big guy #2: A bumpy plate!

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Taylor

Posted on May 1, 2010
Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Sexuality, Williamsburg

That Penis Patten Is for Style

Guido #1: Ughh! Remember that gay guy who hit on me yesterday? In front of all my friends?
Guido #2: Yeah, but you were wearing that vest. That vest makes you look gay, you know…
Guido #1, indignantly: Noooooo it doesnnn'ttt!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Posted on April 30, 2010
Clothing, Gays and Lesbians, Guidos, Physical appearance, Union Square and East Village

Also How Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens Hooked Up

Teenage boy, pressing up against teenage girl pretending no one can see: You know he wants to get in your pants…
Teenage girl, acting coy: Nah, you're wrong.
Teenage boy, continuing to grind her up against subway door: I am decent, if you looked at my contacts in my cell phone you would think I was gay.

–F Train

Posted on April 19, 2010
Cell Phone, Gays and Lesbians, On the Subway, Sex, Teens, Wishes & desires

You Can't Say “Engelbert Humperdinck” in a Gay Bar, Sir

Bar patron, listening to Sweet Caroline: Wow. I've never heard this version before. It's cool! Who's singing?
Twinkie bartender: It's from that show Glee. I've never heard the original, though. Whose song is it?
Bar patron: Oh, man, that takes me back. Englebert Humperdinck. A guy named Englebert Humperdinck–he wrote it for Caroline Kennedy.

–Gay Bar, West Village

Overheard by: Bob

Posted on April 16, 2010
About Celebrities, Bars & Clubs, Bartenders, Bosses, Gays and Lesbians, Music, Names, Questions, Singing, West Village

Wednesday Loves the Smell Of One-Liners' Hair

20-something suit on phone: Yeah, man. Just come over. We can spoon and talk about chicks and shit.

–Wall & Pearl

Overheard by: traceface

Thug to another: Those bitches be cuddlin' your wounds!

–42nd St

Hispanic woman on phone: Yeah, it's crazy snowin' outside. (pause) Uh-huh, yeah, you wanna cuddle. (pause) Hahaha, uh-oh! (pause) Uh-oh, spaghetti-o! (pause) Haha, no, you've already done that. (pause) Hahaha… You've done that already. I have to spin the other way now.. (pause) He he he, you're crazy. Hee heee. (pause) Well, you have a lovely day inside a warm place!

–Q Train

Overheard by: Em Allears

Crazy lady to herself: Does anyone wanna snuggle me for the hell of it? (five minutes later) Why are all these people here? Is it a workday? Cuz if it is, I'm going to get fired. I need a beer!

–G Train

Overheard by: LaughedOutLoud

Guy at cafe: I have pillows just for spooning.

–6th St & 2nd Ave

Posted on March 24, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Crazies, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Home, Sweet Home, Jobs & Careers, Latinos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nicknames & name calling, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality, Street, Suits, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weather, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Simmons? Yes. He Totally Catches.

Mailman: So, I think Javier and Richard are too good of friends, y'know? And I got to wondering, who does who?
Mailwoman: You mean who catches?
Mailman: Yes, who the fuck catches?
Mailwoman: I think Richard catches.

–East Village

Posted on March 23, 2010
Backdoor, Coworkers, Friendship, Gays and Lesbians, Rumor Has It, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-Liners Have No Trouble Getting Dates

Girl on bench, to guy in whose arms she is snuggled: Get your shit together and decide if you like men or women before you come around trying to date me!

–Battery Park

Woman to friend: What's with all these bi-colored, bi-curious tomatoes?

–Farmers Market, Union Square

Overheard by: Dave

Thug on cell: Yo! You didn't know that? (pause) Yeah man, he love pussy, but he love dick too!

–6th St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave

Drunk blonde: I like both black guys and white guys. Does that make me bi?

–Joshua Tree Bar, Hell's Kitchen

Overheard by: Mon