Wednesday Loves the Smell Of One-Liners' Hair

20-something suit on phone: Yeah, man. Just come over. We can spoon and talk about chicks and shit.

–Wall & Pearl

Overheard by: traceface

Thug to another: Those bitches be cuddlin' your wounds!

–42nd St

Hispanic woman on phone: Yeah, it's crazy snowin' outside. (pause) Uh-huh, yeah, you wanna cuddle. (pause) Hahaha, uh-oh! (pause) Uh-oh, spaghetti-o! (pause) Haha, no, you've already done that. (pause) Hahaha… You've done that already. I have to spin the other way now.. (pause) He he he, you're crazy. Hee heee. (pause) Well, you have a lovely day inside a warm place!

–Q Train

Overheard by: Em Allears

Crazy lady to herself: Does anyone wanna snuggle me for the hell of it? (five minutes later) Why are all these people here? Is it a workday? Cuz if it is, I'm going to get fired. I need a beer!

–G Train

Overheard by: LaughedOutLoud

Guy at cafe: I have pillows just for spooning.

–6th St & 2nd Ave

Posted on March 24, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Crazies, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Home, Sweet Home, Jobs & Careers, Latinos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nicknames & name calling, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality, Street, Suits, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weather, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Simmons? Yes. He Totally Catches.

Mailman: So, I think Javier and Richard are too good of friends, y'know? And I got to wondering, who does who?
Mailwoman: You mean who catches?
Mailman: Yes, who the fuck catches?
Mailwoman: I think Richard catches.

–East Village

Posted on March 23, 2010
Backdoor, Coworkers, Friendship, Gays and Lesbians, Rumor Has It, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-Liners Have No Trouble Getting Dates

Girl on bench, to guy in whose arms she is snuggled: Get your shit together and decide if you like men or women before you come around trying to date me!

–Battery Park

Woman to friend: What's with all these bi-colored, bi-curious tomatoes?

–Farmers Market, Union Square

Overheard by: Dave

Thug on cell: Yo! You didn't know that? (pause) Yeah man, he love pussy, but he love dick too!

–6th St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave

Drunk blonde: I like both black guys and white guys. Does that make me bi?

–Joshua Tree Bar, Hell's Kitchen

Overheard by: Mon

Posted on March 17, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Battery Park, Colors, Dating, Drunks, Food, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Penis, Physical appearance, Questions, Race, Sexuality, Street, Stupidity, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Or I Should Stop Wearing Care Bear Tanktops

Suit #1: The girl I'm seeing, she likes to wear my shirts.
Suit #2: So?
Suit #1: I think she might be a lesbian.

–Park Place & Broadway

Overheard by: kathcom

Posted on March 15, 2010
Clothing, Gays and Lesbians, Suits, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Wednesday Lindsay-Lohaners

Gay guy, angrily looking at woman eating sausages: And that is why I hate lesbians!

–Gay Pride Parade

Man on cell: I went to San Francisco last month to find me a lesbian girlfriend.

–Big Apple BBQ

Overheard by: skibs

Angry lady to another: Why would I have sex with another woman?

–Greenwich Village

Hobo on platform: Men… do not have sex with women! Any man who has sex with a woman should be arrested. Women do not like sex–women are all lesbians!

–7 Train

Crazy hobo to young girls on bench: You girls are a box full of lesbians!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Daphne

Posted on March 10, 2010
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Crazies, Crime and Punishment, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Gripes, Hobos, Men, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parades & Festitivites, Queer guys, Questions, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality, The Village, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Do Wednesday One-Liners Make You Hot?

20-something guy dressed as Edward Cullen for Halloween: So anyway, I walk in, and they are both sitting there, playing with each other's erections…

–Bedford Ave & Berry St

Overheard by: Marie Miller Barnes

Ginger kid in audience, as photo of awkward Asian teen sticking banana in his mouth is projected on movie screen: I am definitely aroused.

–Tisch School of the Arts

Joggers to another: Raging hard-ons!

–Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Katie

20-something girl to another: How could he not go out with you? I mean, you gave him a boner at Relay For Life!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Becca

Posted on March 10, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Dating, Erections, Fruit, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Horny, Kids, One-liners, Questions, School, Sex, Street, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Who Doesn't Love a Jazzhandjob?

Woman: You mean you didn't like having sex with her?
Man: Well, I mean, she was just too… jazzy afterwards.
Woman: Oh, I know. Don't worry, that's just how she is. I thought it was weird at first, too.
Man: Excuse me, when did you start fucking my girlfriends, you little whore?!

–Madison Square Garden

Posted on March 8, 2010
Gays and Lesbians, Insults, Madison Square Garden, Men, Sex, Weirdness, Women

We'd Like to Thank Wednesday One-Liner for This Emmy

Chick to friend: I've been really committed to learning about Jesus lately. Can you believe how crazy it is that Jesus was in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights? I mean, like, no food or water for that long? Crazy! I mean, I never even realized how crazy it was until I saw David Blaine do it.

–R Train

Dreaded hobo, evangelizing: You gotta be able to suck dick to accept the love of Jesus Christ!

–40th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: melissa

Dude: It's not gay if it's Jesus!

–Morningside Heights

Overheard by: Ladle

Fat Christian evangelist to another: Jesus had the computer technology to manipulate the atoms of water. That's why he could walk over the waves. That's how we convince the atheists.

–Union Square

Overheard by: smoking on the stoop

Hipster on cell: My aunt got a promotion at work. She's a big deal. If this were the bible, she would be Jesus' nephew.

–17th St & Broadway

Posted on March 3, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, BJs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Christianity, Christians, Compare/Contrast, Computer, Crazies, Education, Fat People, Food, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, Hobos, Jesus, Jobs & Careers, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Penis, Questions, Science, Street, Stupidity, Time, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners

Wednesnogsday One-Liners

White male to group of friends: I thought she was really into me… Then I turned around and she was kissing Mary.

–Pace University

Girl to boyfriend kissing her hand: Are you kissing my hand or wiping your nose?

–Central Park

Young boy to friend: Wow, lesbians kissing! I've only seen that on the internet!

–Grand Central Station

Black man to two men and two women making out indiscriminately: I thought all y'alls was gay, but now y'alls kissin' each other. I don't know what to think.

–Splash Bar

Posted on March 3, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Black People, Body Parts, Boys, Central Park, College, Couples, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Grand Central, Guys, Internet, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Sexuality, Strangers, Train Station, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People

Gays and Lesbians