Girl in crowded elevator: You're not sweating. It must not be hot.
Guy: Yeah, but my tongue is blistering. I should probably see a doctor.
–7th Ave
Girl in crowded elevator: You're not sweating. It must not be hot.
Guy: Yeah, but my tongue is blistering. I should probably see a doctor.
–7th Ave
NYU girl #1: I totally want to push that kid in the water.
NYU girl #2: What? Why?
NYU girl #1: Just to watch him drown.
Little boy: What?
NYU girls #1 and #2 (in unison): Nothing.
–Turtle Pond, Central Park
Overheard by: Oh boy
Chick #1: You shouldn’t have slept with him. You knew that would really hurt his girlfriend…
Chick #2: Yeah, I know, but we were both so high on coke that neither of us should be held responsible for our actions.
–Starbucks, 50th & 9th
Overheard by: sketchy
Woman: One time this guy punched me…but it was alright, cause I was on coke.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Laura Grossman
Female hipster on cell: I'm coked up and all alone, Harvey, how do you expect me to feel?
–Humboldt & Ainslie, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Joseph Hernandez
Girl on cell: I haven't done coke in like a week. It's been a rough week.
–Upper East Side
Hot 20-something tourist girl to friend: Pfft, the Meatpacking District. That's false advertising…I got no meat packed in me last night. All I did was steal that bag of cocaine from those guys.
–Broadway & Wooster
Overheard by: ClassyGal
Female 20-something on phone: Yeah, he realized it was too late when he couldn't tell the difference between the piles of sugar, the piles of flour, and the piles of cocaine.
–Central Park
Girl: How was your date last night?
Guy: He had a sick body but an ugly face. I slept with him anyway.
–84th St & 2nd Ave
Girl: You know how your boyfriend sometimes falls asleep in my bed? You have to make him stop. Seriously.
Roommate: Why?
Girl: Because I'm going to flip shit on his ass, is why!
Roommate: Well, it's not like he…no, I'm not even going to finish that sentence.
Girl: Good.
–A Train
Overheard by: Mama Beeker
Guy: Guess how much I paid for that fucking hamburger?
Girl: How much?
Guy: 32 dollars! No hamburger is worth 32 dollars.
–NYU Dorm
White girl to boyfriend: I want to go to my father's country one day…I want to go where my father was born…Hades.
Boyfriend: Where?
White girl: Hades, I wanna go to Hades where my father was born…you know, that little island in the Dominican Republic?
–PATH
Eight-year-old girl drinking margarita: My daddy taught me in kindergarten, if any boys treat me like s-h-i-t, kick them in the dick!
[Five minutes later.]Eight-year-old girl: I’m gonna kill myself!
–Mexican Restaurant near Union Square
Girl #1: So, we left the bar in a taxi and I had to go to the bathroom real bad.
Girl #2: What did you do?
Girl #1: There was an envelope in the cab, so I used it. Yes that was the time I pooped in an envelope in a taxi!
–2nd Ave Bus
