Girl using photo printer: Mine's all messed up. Why is it messed up? When you did it, it printed out fine. Why isn't mine like yours?
Photo lab guy: I don't know. Maybe god hates you.
–CVS, Astoria
Girl: I don't know why the express stops at Shea Stadium. No one ever gets off here.
Guy: True.
Girl: I mean I can understand if it's during the baseball season… Actually, even then no one gets off here.
–7 Train
Girl #1: Her problem is she drinks too much sugared soda.
Girl #2: I have that problem. The thing about me is, I have a lot of gas. People say, “why do you drink all that soda?” and it's because I have to belch up all the gas. My cramps aren't even from cramps. They're from all that gas.
–Target Store, Brooklyn
Girl to friend: I mean, if he was rich I would pretend to like him; but he's not, so…
–46th & 3rd
Guy on street to couple: Baby girl, you're just embarrassing yourself. Don't do it. You know you're just with him for his money cuz everyone knows white men ain't got no dick.
–5th & 32nd
Ghetto young man: That is why I'm gonna marry a rich white woman. My daughter needs a good life; my sugar mama can pay for her to go to a private school. I'm a playa, but I gotta marry a rich white woman for my baby girl.
–A Train
20-something guy to friends: So this chick I like says "let's wait until you start making money til we start dating." So I said to her "what makes you think I want to date you once I start making money?"
–St Mark's
20-something woman on cell: I fuck you, I get dinner. He fucks you, he gets a house!
–Washington Square
Girl: Earthquakes come every ten years, and it's not that bad. It's not like your house goes down or something.
–Flushing, Queens
Overheard by: mia
Excited kindergartner: We played house and then we played going to the co-op!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Elderly man to another: People are gonna kill people, they just need to do it in their own house.
–Austin St & 77th Ave
20-something: So yeah, we used to hang out in elementary school. He'd come over my house, kinda like a "whose cock is bigger?" kinda thing.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: AnnaBanana
Average-sized woman on cell: He said "big boned." Yeah, "you're a big boned girl… Like your dad, kinda big boned." (pause) Yeah, so, I didn't really feel like eating much after that.
–Queens
Overheard by: bdlilrbt
Girl to friend: I always think I'm a thin person, but then I look into the mirror and realize I'm not.
–3rd & 13th
Super skinny Japanese girl: I brought my juice with me. Then I ordered dessert. But my juice just looked better than eating dessert.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: dignell
Middle aged women to friend: Yeah, we took her in for a few weeks. She was fine, but didn't eat much. But that's because she kind of has an eating disorder. (they burst out into a fit of laughter)
–F Train
Girl getting soda to friend: You know, it's the ice that makes you fat. I heard that somewhere.
–Cafeteria, Marymount Manhattan
Overheard by: Hannah
Midwestern mother to ticket vendor: Thank goodness for the bus, we've been in the hotel for four days because we can't walk anymore!
–50th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Kate
Ditz, singing and marching: It's a sidewalk, so I have to walk on it!
–St. Mark's & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Hannah
Sarcastic, portly girl: Great, my two favorite things: walking and learning.
–Governor's Island Ferry
Crazy man in the middle of the street blocking traffic: Car are outlawed! Walk everywhere! I walked to China last week! I walked to Paris yesterday!
–18th & 3rd
Overheard by: Maria
Tough guy to another: I'm a little afraid to walk around with you 'cause it seems everyone you work with dies.
–PJ Clarke's
Cute girl on Penn station escalator: I dipped my dim sum in her tears!
–NJ Transit
Man in running gear on cell: I never get to, but I'm going to try again. I just hope I don't cry!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Daniel
Girl to friend: I cried so hard it went down and under my armpit.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: porter
Bartender: I'll bet he cries when he masturbates.
–MacDougal & W 3rd
Overheard by: Greg
Woman to friends: My vagina is leaking tears right now.
–5th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Zoe
Ditzy brunette #1: I hate it when people have exact change!
Ditzy brunette #2: I know! Normal people don't count out exact change!
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl #1: So I changed my MySpace page to this lake at night with an orange moon.
Girl #2: Orange moon? Are you sure it's not a sun?
Girl #1: Yeah, it's night.
–Queens
Overheard by: Jax
