Girl #1, walking past NYSC: We should be working out like them…assholes.
Girl #2: It's fine, we are doing more productive things.
Girl #1: More productive than working out? Like what?
Girl #2: Going out, drinking, eating, and shopping!
–Wall Street
Girl #1, walking past NYSC: We should be working out like them…assholes.
Girl #2: It's fine, we are doing more productive things.
Girl #1: More productive than working out? Like what?
Girl #2: Going out, drinking, eating, and shopping!
–Wall Street
Girl, as UPS truck passes: Would you rather call FedEx or UPS?
Guy: I don't mind, as long as my package gets to where it needs to be.
Girl: Where does your package need to go?
Guy: My package needs to go up in your sister in Virgina.
–Time Square
Hip Asian girl: I'm getting really interested in Buddhism.
Sassy gay friend: I like killing bugs too much.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: michelle
Uptight, Greg-type dude: Doesn't it hurt to sit with your legs like that?
Cheerful, Dharma-type chick, in lotus position on bar stool: Nope!
Uptight, Greg-type dude, after short pause: I shall pray for you, my dear.
–St. Mark's Ale House, St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Amber Star
Girl #1: And there was a live poultry-slaughtering place across the street.
Girl #2: No way!
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Headline by: Matthew
Runners-Up:
· “Boneless-Skinless Breasts Don’t Just Grow That Way?” – EddieA
· “Coin Operated, Which Made It Kind Of Cruel” – Nick Pollotta
· “I Think It’s Called a Strip Bar” – Sandy Paws
· “I’m Telling You, It Was the Best Club I’ve Ever Been to” – PeterG
· “It Was Called Panda Express” – Chuck G
· “It’s the New Starbucks – Soon There’ll Be One on Every Corner” – Brent
· “Rachel’s Stories About the World Outside NYC Always Gave Becky Nightmares” – Siobhan
· “That’s Why the Wedding Was So Cheap” – treibs
· “They Also Perform Circumcisions” – mark
Drunk guy: If I'm not married by the time I'm twenty-five or twenty-six…
Drunk girl: You haaaaave to be married by the time you're twenty-five.
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: very single twenty-five year old. ouch.
Pregnant teacher: Yeah, so my husband loves me and I'm pregnant. Yeah, that's life…everything works out.
Black girl to friend: Yo, she makes me mad depressed.
–Edward R Murrow High School
Moviegoer: Come on, I wanna see this potentially shitty movie!
–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman
Guy on phone: I'm not trying to have sex with you, I just really want to see The Dark Knight.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Ross
Movie theater employee: I don't go to the movies. I watch them on the internet.
–AMC Loews, Lincoln Square
Overheard by: Holly
Guy on cell: Okay, love you, bye… Oh, and the reason she says "Foxy, you better work it out!" is because that's the name of her character in the movie.
–62nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Richard
Nerdy film major: Silent Night, Deadly Night II is the worst movie ever. It's so bad it's amazing. There's something cathartic about watching it; you leave thinking, "there is a god!"
–NYU Dining Hall
Guy leaving The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: You have to be some kind of anti-Christ to write a movie that retarded.
–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Mark Nilges
Girl, as credits roll at the end of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Wow…they both lived way too long.
–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway
Chick on cell: Look, there are only two people other than me who can construct a sentence that awesome: Severus Snape and Keith Olbermann, and one of them isn't even real!
–18th & 6th
Middle-aged man on cell: Hey man, guess what. I just saw Harry Potter's magic wand!
—Equus, Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: Kilfy
Chick on cell: Is he one of Voldemort's friends from high school?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Loud girl to friend: Because seriously, how many real redheads do we actually know? And Ron Weasley doesn't count!
–NYU
IT VP: This guy at work told me the ending to the last Harry Potter book before I read it. So I fired him.
–Astoria
Overheard by: Jason E
Not ghetto black girl: How do you bag a girl?
Ghetto black boy: Come sit on my lap!
–Pete's Pizza, Ave M
