Lifestyles Of the Wednesday One-Liners

Concerned teacher: Where is Ronald Reagan? Who took Ronald Reagan?

–ACORN High School for Social Justice

Middle aged lady to companion: Ronald McDonald has his nose up Hello Kitty's dress.

–Macy's Balloon Inflation before Thanksgiving Day Parade

Hobo: If you ever touch Halle Berry, I'll fucking smack you!

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Margot

Girl yelling to friend getting out of cab: Get back here before I bite you in the face like Chris Brown!

–St. Mark's Place & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Janelle

Stoner, as credits roll for movie Push: Dude…fuck Dakota Fanning!

–Palace Theatre

Guy: But come on, it's the Jonas Brothers in 3-D. It's like pimples and eyebrows, comin' at'cha!

–E 17th St

Overheard by: the Big R

Happy-go-lucky hobo: Liza Minelli? I thought that bitch was dead. (singing at the top of his lungs) I want to be a part of it…New York, New York!

–47th & 7th

Overheard by: Jesse Cromer

Posted on April 1, 2009
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Bryant Park, Clothing, College, Compare/Contrast, Death, Friends, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Hobos, Insults, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Music, One-liners, Parades & Festitivites, President, Questions, Singing, Stoners, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Theater, Threats, Union Square and East Village, Violence, Weirdness, Women

And I Told You Not to Wear All Brown

Little kid to passerby: Poop! Bye bye, poopie!
Obnoxious girl, stopping in middle of street and glaring at kid: Did she just call me a poop? What the hell!
Girl's friend: “Poopie,” not poop.

–Little Italy

Posted on March 31, 2009
Friends, Girls, Insults, Kids, Little Italy, Poop, Should've Used a Condom, Words

Recession What?

Two-year-old boy: Do you want to see my BlackBerry?
Babysitter: You have a BlackBerry?
Two-year-old boy: Yeah! I have a BlackBerry!

–Lincoln Center

Posted on March 31, 2009
Blackberry, Girls, Kids, Questions, Should've Used a Condom, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wishes & desires

Remember That Time You Quoted Byron While We Were Drinking Those Giant Margaritas?

Girl #1: …like that time we saw Zack and Miri make a porno.
Girl #2: That was pretty deep.
Girl #1: But not as deep as Cancun.
Girl #2: True, true.

–Times Square

Posted on March 31, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Girls, Porn, Times Square

But First We Should Get High

Girl to gay guy: If you were a bird, you would totally be one that wore a tuxedo every day.
Gay guy: Lets go to the Bronx Zoo.

–45th & Lexington

Overheard by: CBro

Posted on March 30, 2009
Birds, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Queer guys

New York Invented Social Darwinism

Girl #1: We can't cross now! There are cars coming!
Girl #2, beginning to walk into street: Well, they can't hit all of us.

–Lexington & 3rd

Overheard by: Following the leader

Posted on March 30, 2009
Advice, Cars and Driving, Girls, Street, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

I'm Always Like, “Should I Walk Straight, or in Circles? I Forget!”

Blonde European: I get lost between the avenues.
Brunette European: Me too!

–16th & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Jenny and LaLa

Posted on March 29, 2009
Foreigners, Girls, Stupidity, The Village, Tourism

Dad Sells a Lot Of Beans in Hong Kong

Stoner girl: After Thanksgiving break I realized that no one in my family ever knows what the fuck I am talking about.
Stoner guy: Yeah! Totally! Everything I said to my dad he'd be like “What?! What the hell does that have to do with the price of beans in Hong Kong?”

–Fordham University, Rose Hill Campus

Posted on March 27, 2009
Family Ties, Fordham, Girls, Guys, Insults, Money & Class, Parents, Stoners

According to the Nanny Who Raised Me, Anyway.

Girl #1: The Wiz is so much better than The Wizard of Oz!
Girl #2: That's 'cause there ain't no white people in it.
Girl #1: True…true.

–57th & 6th

Overheard by: Ross

Posted on March 27, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Film, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Race

I Told Him It Was an Allergic Reaction to a Bee Sting

Big girl: Eww! I miss the days I went out with Eric.
Friend: Why? He was an asshole!
Big girl: He took me out so much, I swear I went to every cool spot in New York City.
Friend: Wait, so bascially he wined and dined you?
Big girl: Yep!
Friend: What the fuck, I thought fat girls didn't get wined and dined!

–Coffee Shop, Union Square

Posted on March 26, 2009
Dating, Diet/Weight, Fat People, Food, Friends, Girls, Insults, Nostalgia, Restaurants & Cafes, Union Square and East Village

Girls