Wednesday One-Liners See London and France

30-something guy to another: She works for Sesame Street so she gets a lot of free underwear.

–Brooklyn Label, Greenpoint

Girl: Yeah, dude. She wasn't wearing any underwear so everyone was trying to pull down her skirt!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Mollie

Tourist mom in matching pink jumpsuit, struggling with too many children: Oh my Jesus, I wore the wrong thong today!

–42nd St

Overheard by: Emily

Puzzled hipster on cell: Wait…how did wearing a thong fuck up her eye?

–7th St & Ave A

Hipster girl on cell: Did you get your underwear? Lindsey! Goddamn it! "Eat" sounds nothing like "get!" Fuck! What? Fuck you, bitch! Taste of my own medicine, bullshit! I heard nothing about gnawing on my own underwear!

–Baskin-Robbins, Mulberry

Overheard by: Hana

Very blond mother pushing baby carriage, on cell: I don't care, we've talked about this! Don't fucking touch my underwear!

–20th St & 7th Ave

Posted on October 1, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Insults, Lower Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Nudity, Offers and requests, Questions, TV, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners … For Me to Poop On!

Girl yelling at guy wearing ridiculously oversized shorts: Eat my shit out the toilet! Stew my shit and eat it!

–109th & Manhattan

Random girl: The only thing is, you have to flush your own toilet paper.

–Brooklyn Botanic Garden

Overheard by: the old fashioned way

Teenager: So then I pooped my pants, and my belt buckle exploded!

–Fulton Street

Overheard by: The Lane Train

10-year-old boy walking with his mom and sister: I'm a good guy. I don't pee on the floor. Or doo doo.

–Broadway, Astoria

Teen on cell: Alright, I'm gonna go home. I gotta clean up some poop.

–49th & 3rd

Girl: He called me last night and said he wanted to see me! When the maid knocked on the door I thought it was him and I thought, "I think I have to poop!"

–Milford Hotel Lobby

Posted on October 1, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Boys, Brooklyn, Cleanliness, Clothing, Girls, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On Cell, Pee, Poop, Teens, Tourist Attractions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness

I'm Not a Wednesday One-Liner — You're a Turkey!

Hootchie, about subway smell: It smells like gooood chicken in here. Like McDonald's.

–86th St Subway Platform

Overheard by: EthanK

Barnard girl, indignantly: Chickens don't have thighs!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: The Thighless Wonder

Kid to friends: Oh, shit! I forgot there's a chicken in my backpack!

–Canal St Subway Station

Overheard by: Mel

Cracked out lady on one crutch to cashier: Do you guys still carry like, hamburgers and chicken sandwiches and stuff?

–McDonald's

Overheard by: Ben

Perspiring panhandler on definitely non-organic substances holding a can and singing: I love chickennn…chicken breastsss and thighhhs…chicken heads…mmmmmmm…I love them goooood (keeps going) Thank you. (extends his can for donations)

–7 Train

Overheard by: OG Bergenfield

Woman on phone with friend: I mean he wouldn't even cut my chicken in half for me at dinner. I was all givin' him shit for it. We got in this fight and I told him, "That's what people do to show each other that they care! They cut each other's chicken in half or make them a can of soup or whateva'!" You know what I'm sayin'?

–88th St & Broadway

Posted on October 1, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Birds, Body Parts, Columbia, Columbia (& Barnard), Compare/Contrast, Food, Girls, Homeless, Hootchies, Junk Food & Fast Food, Kids, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Panhandling, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Women, Words

Wednesday One-Liners Taste the Rainbow

Teen hipster on cell: You know, light pink is the navy blue of India. It's true! Don't ask me how I know this but I do.

–6th & 51st

Overheard by: simon

Flamboyant nasal-voiced man on cell: I'm feeling blue…like, royal blue…a little lighter…no, not baby blue…like, American flag blue…like…yeah.

–Jamaica LIRR Station

Aussie on cell: There were all these dudes wearing pink shirts…and they weren't even gay!

–55th & 8th Ave

Overheard by: wearing a pink shirt and gay

Girl to friend: So he made carrot salad and I said "Your poop is gonna be orange!"

–The Frying Pan, Chelsea

Latina: Well, she said "It wasn't white! It was yellow!" So I was like, "Well, was it at least shaped like a penis?"

–4th Ave & 40th, Brooklyn

Posted on October 1, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Food, Foreigners, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Hipsters, Latinos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Penis, Poop, Queens, Questions, Teens, Train Station, Trains Not Subway

We Imagine a Young Katherine Hepburn in This Role

Hot chick: You are never gonna get a job talking like that.
Thug: Yeah, you know, I can turn dis shit off and talk all professional and shit if I have to. (in professional voice): I can speak in a manner which is becoming to a young professional and present myself as an upstanding member of society (now back to thug speak) nawmsayin'?
Hot chick (sarcastically, enunciating each word): Yes. I know what you are saying.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Joey Cards

Posted on September 30, 2008
Advice, Default, Etiquette, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Language Barrier, On the Subway, Thugs, Words

There Are Eight Million Stories in the Naked City

Crazy guy: Hello.
Girl: Hi.
Crazy guy: You know, yesterday I had a nervous breakdown. My girlfriend kicked me out of the house forever.
Girl: Oh…
Crazy guy: It was nice talking to you. Bye.

–Union Square

Posted on September 30, 2008
Breaking Up, Crazies, Crazy, Default, Girls, Guys, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Does She Still Live in a Van Down by the East River?

Blonde girl: I mean this in the nicest way possible, but she looks exactly like Chris Farley.
Brunette girl: Oh my gosh, you're so right! I can't believe I never noticed before!
Blonde girl: I know! But I totally mean it as a compliment.

–Nobu Restaurant, W 57th

Overheard by: sromeo

Posted on September 30, 2008
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Physical appearance, Restaurants & Cafes

Hey, Passive-Aggressive's Working Great for Me

Mom to tween daughter: Are you mad at me?
Tween daughter: No, I'm not mad at you.
Mom: Why aren't you mad at me? You have every right to be.

–NJ Transit

Posted on September 29, 2008
Default, Ew, Jersey, Girls, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Parents, Questions, Tweens, Weirdness

I Gag Every Time I Look at 1970's Beaver Shots

Nine-year-old girl: Are you a Republican or a Democrat?
14-year-old girl: Well, I'm a Democrat.
Nine-year-old girl: Why?
14-year-old girl: Well, in my opinion, being a Democrat means you don't like Bush.
Nine-year-old girl: Oh. I'm a Democrat, too.

–Brooklyn Public Library, Greenpoint Branch

Overheard by: Jack Jackl

Posted on September 29, 2008
Brooklyn, Default, Girls, Kids, Library, Politics, President, Questions, Teens

Girls