Girl #1: Yeah, I got a fake ID yesterday at 42nd Street.
Girl #2: Oh my god, let me see!
Girl #3: Yeah, I wanna see, too!
Girl #1: No way. We’re not passing it around. I’m not sketchy like that.
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Girl #1: Yeah, I got a fake ID yesterday at 42nd Street.
Girl #2: Oh my god, let me see!
Girl #3: Yeah, I wanna see, too!
Girl #1: No way. We’re not passing it around. I’m not sketchy like that.
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Hipster chick: … And she was wearing velvet?! Velvet! How can you wear velvet in this heat?!
Bicycle jock: Maybe it was CoolMax.
–F train
Overheard by: Braincurve
Mid-20s girl: I never date a guy who gets more than three questions wrong on the SATs. I don’t plan it, it just works out that way.
–23rd & 8th
Overheard by: Limey
Hipster on cell: I went through this time when I was like, ‘I could have 800 girlfriends at the same time and just not tell them about each other.’ That was much easier…
–Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
Guy pointing to nothing in particular on the sidewalk: Uh, dude, you dropped your girlfriend.
–Times Square
Overheard by: christine
Muslim woman in full abaya, dragging husband along: Right now I need to focus on my needs. Do you hear me? This is about my needs!
–Atlantic Ave, in front of Brooklyn Heights YMCA
Man to woman on the sidewalk: Well, we had our one, but it wasn’t so much a fight as it was a mini-series.
–12th, between 6th & 5th
Overheard by: Karen
Girl: My asshole boyfriend! I was just staying with him until Valentine’s Day so that I could get a present, and tomorrow he’s history! But then I didn’t even get that!
–NYU Silver Center
Conductor: Attention, everyone, we are not interviewing for train conductors! Stop trying to control the doors — that’s my job. We are, however, seeking passengers. Please enter the train and sit down to be interviewed for that position.
–1 train, 125th St
Overheard by: Jeff McCrum
Clearly intoxicated girl: I decided to go from working to doing a lot of drugs…
–42nd & 8th
Overheard by: ADA
20-something: You know, I’m just lucky I have a job at all! I mean, I did go to state school!
–Morton & Hudson
Overheard by: Sam
Emo teen, running taking pictures: See, this is why I got fired from American Apparel — because I would come into work acting like this!
–Vanessa’s Dumplings, E 14th & 3rd
Overheard by: Maggie Elisabeth
Lady on a Bluetooth: Girl, you’ve got CEO dreams with a McDonald’s work ethic.
–W 60th St, between Columbus & Broadway
Loud man to loud friends: It was just him running around getting punched in his codpiece and yelling, ‘You killed my father.’ Yeah, I think he has a new job now.
–109th & Amsterdam
Chick #1: … But think about it — if we have so many bananas, like, in the supermarket and everything, then where are all the monkeys?
Chick #2: You are so right.
Chick #1: I mean, it’s true — shouldn’t they be here, where the bananas are?
Chick #2: That is so deep.
Chick #1: We should stop smoking weed.
–69th & CPW
DVD salesman: I couldn’t give you a better deal if I slid down the chimney.
Little girl, whispering glumly: But we don’t have a chimney.
–A train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: VassarBoy
Guy: Please do not tell me you took a shit in this cup.
Girl: We can wash it out.
–74th & Columbus
Tourist girl: Oh, crap, is that Rosie O’Donnell over there?! [Whips out phone camera.]Tourist guy: Well, it’s either her, or a 300-pound biker with a bad haircut.
–34th & Broadway
Loud girl #1: I lost my sandals at the beach!
Loud girl #2: Oh my God, now it’s probably floating somewhere in the Pacific Ocean!
–Bay Terrace Shopping Center, Queens
Overheard by: doesn’t anybody pay attention in global anymo
Girl: Well, she was clearly hurt. Her eye swelled up like a monkey’s vagina!
Guy: What? Like a monkey’s vagina?
Girl: Yeah, when they’re in heat.
Guy: Ohhh… Only monkeys’ vaginas swell?
–Elevator, 101st & Broadway
