Vapid girl: It's like how some people go on long runs to train for marathons. I eat cheese to condition my stomach for when I don't eat vegan.
Neighboring diner to girlfriend: The world will a much better place once we start eating people like her.
–Atlas Cafe, 2nd Ave
Girl: So where's he from? He's from California, right?
Guy: No, he's from England.
Girl: Oh, Montreal!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Christopher Columbus
Man eating brunch to male friend: We both came out seven years ago. We are puppy gay in dog years.
–Big Daddy’s Diner
Overheard by: Morgan
Very loving mom talking to daughter about her son: Hey! He is not an animal, he is not a dog. Well, at least not today!
–Hell’s Kitchen
Outraged woman to man: What? No! Do not put the dog in the furnace, Ted!
–Court Street
Chick with cigarette, on cell: … Leathery fetish dog-masks, or just Halloween style dog-masks?
–Outside Tagine, 40th & 9th
Overheard by: Ladle
Philosophical suit: The only reason I haven’t divorced my wife is because of the dog.
–Upper East Side
Large man: Girl… You is white.
Pale girl: No, I'm not.
Large man: No. You is white. Like Shirley Temple or Betty Crocker, or somethin.
–D Train
Overheard by: Tiffany Schleigh
Artsy girl: I cant believe you took my idea!
Bearded hipster boy: My cat died and so I can use it my way.
Artsy girl: But now everyone thinks it was your idea to skin the cat! And it was mine! Next thing you know, you'll be plucking the feathers out of birds and dipping them in blood!
Bearded hipster boy: Good idea, I think I will.
Artsy girl: Cunt!
–Outside Cooper Union School
Overheard by: jemma lower
Black woman, to eight-year-old white girl: I love the white people. You are so cute. I would babysit you. Come here.
White woman: Yes, give the little white girl a hug.
Black woman, to girl: If anyone fucks with you, I’m gonna be fucking with them.
–47th & 8th
Overheard by: alxie
Girl on computer #10: Damn, this dumb bitch wants to start her own prostituting company.
Girl on computer #9: What a dumb bitch.
–Library, Baruch College
Overheard by: jackieisawuesome
Columbia boy: That’s the library, right?
Barnard girl: Yeah, but it’s just for girls. They do a muff-check at the door.
–Barnard College
Girl: But also Chuck Norris.
Guy: Well, that’s a given.
Girl: I know, I just like saying his name.
Guy: Gives you a little rush?
Girl: You don’t know the half of it.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Michelle
Foreigner: What was with those guys in Brokeback Mountain? Are all cowboys dumb?
Girl: They weren’t dumb, they were gay.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Sara McGrath
