Black woman, to eight-year-old white girl: I love the white people. You are so cute. I would babysit you. Come here.
White woman: Yes, give the little white girl a hug.
Black woman, to girl: If anyone fucks with you, I’m gonna be fucking with them.
–47th & 8th
Overheard by: alxie
Girl on computer #10: Damn, this dumb bitch wants to start her own prostituting company.
Girl on computer #9: What a dumb bitch.
–Library, Baruch College
Overheard by: jackieisawuesome
Columbia boy: That’s the library, right?
Barnard girl: Yeah, but it’s just for girls. They do a muff-check at the door.
–Barnard College
Girl: But also Chuck Norris.
Guy: Well, that’s a given.
Girl: I know, I just like saying his name.
Guy: Gives you a little rush?
Girl: You don’t know the half of it.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Michelle
Foreigner: What was with those guys in Brokeback Mountain? Are all cowboys dumb?
Girl: They weren’t dumb, they were gay.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Sara McGrath
Guy to friends: A girl farted on my head once, and I dated her for three years.
–14th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: MC
Woman to friend: And then he farted in my mouth.
–Ding Dong Lounge
Overheard by: Rosalind
Hobo, farting loudly, turning at girl walking behind him: That's for you, you fucking bitch!
–Yellow Line Subway Station
Overheard by: Craigalanche
Latina on cell, firmly: I'm not bi-curious, I'm just fart-curious
–49th & 5th
Overheard by: olga
Crazy hobo: Once, I was eating Cracker Jacks, you know, the one with the prize in it? When I finished the box, I farted in it, then sealed it up again. When I opened it a week later, I got the surprise of my life!
–1 Train
Overheard by: nella
Girl #1: Okay, but I don't want to be out too late tonight because I have to travel tomorrow.
Girl #2: You do *not* have to *travel* tomorrow…you have to get on a bus to Atlantic City tomorrow.
–E 19th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Silent J
Girl #1: Man, if I'm going to go to that party tonight, I gotta shave my hair.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too. Where is the best price around here?
Girl #3: There's one on Lexington by my place, and a guy does it, and he's so hot I just want him to accidentally shove his dick up me.
Girl #2: Then we'll go to that place!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Andrew
300-pound girl on phone: Girl, you showed your whole booty crack? I know, he's into that kinky downtown shit.
–14th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: bastardo
Loud upstate girl: I think…doin' any kinda research inta furries? You're in trouble.
–Hudson & Houston
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Hoochie: I mean, you gonna handcuff me, then handcuff me. But, you know, when I gotta go do my shit, I gotta go.
–1st St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: stephie
Curly-haired girl on cell: I've totally got a cold too! But I've also got bondage tape. And a cell phone activated vibrator.
–Ouidad salon
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Suit to another, while having lunch on bench: You put duct tape on her mouth and you do it from behind.
–Central Park
Guy at table: You know, she's a quality girl, even when I was in handcuffs, I could tell that she was a quality girl.
–Carnegie Deli
Overheard by: Spazz
Exasperated woman on phone: It's a phone interview! What does it matter what type of boobs I have?
–Office Building, 32nd & 7th
Overheard by: erkala
Girl, after guy accidentally hit her boob: Ow! You should be squeezing them, not hitting them!
–Toys R' Us, Times Square
Overheard by: Lotte
Upper West Side girl to friend: I hate that my boobs are so big! It completely ruins that skirt for me.
–Canal Street
Hobo: But I don't want to love my breasts!
–Ave B
Man on cell: So you're coming to New York? That's good. I called your mother, she said you're staying with some girl with big tits tonight.
–West 4th Street
Guy to another, while at lunch: I don't care if you think I live too fast and I'll be dead at 45. At least I'll die with a tittie in my mouth!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: sal b
