Customer: What happened to your hair?
Male barista (showing off haircut): Locks of love… locks of love.
Customer: So… someday I’ll wear your hair in a play?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Maggie
Customer: What happened to your hair?
Male barista (showing off haircut): Locks of love… locks of love.
Customer: So… someday I’ll wear your hair in a play?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Maggie
Tourist taking picture of guy with ‘Overthrow’ shaved into back of his head: So, is Overthrow your rap name?
Guy: Nah, Overthrow — that’s my movement. I’m a general. Five-star general — see the five stars [shaved into sideburns]?
–DUMBO
Overheard by: Mrs Parker’s 4th Grade Class
Woman: Your hair smells like apple pie. Did you do a handstand in the apple pie?
–F train
Overheard by: mikey frenchman
Waitress's friend: You doin' somethin' different with your hair? You got a glow about you.
Waitress, whispering but audible by everyone around: I'm on the rag, yo!
–Garden Grill, Graham Ave
Overheard by: digamma
Woman with strong Southern accent: I am gonna have her bachelorette party in my apartment next weekend.
Husband: (nods)
Woman: But the goddamn stripper won't return my phone calls.
(waitress brings shots)
Woman: What is this?
Waitress: Tequila, on us.
Woman: This'll put hair on my boobies.
Husband's friends: That's just how he likes it.
Husband: (nods)
–Brother Jimmy's BBQ, Upper West Side
Mother to screaming child: Please stop crying and put your coat on. I am not hurting you or torturing you, so please stop crying.
–4th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: olivejuice
Father to kid who just started crying: Hey, stop! I thought I told you to wait until we got home!
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lucian
Guy to girl, on Valentine's Day: You look fat when you cry.
–Cobble Hill
Overheard by: MJB
Hispanic man on phone to girlfriend: Ma, why you cryin?! You should be breaking up with me because I hit you!
–Staten Island Ferry
Guy to girlfriend: I'm sorry I pulled your hair while you were crying.
–Bowery & 2nd
Guy: He totally harassed my mother into getting a haircut. It was basically like rape. Except, you know, with a haircut.
–6 train
Overheard by: Always Amazed
20-something: It’s one of those bars in Williamsburg that you can’t get in unless you have a mustache.
–Brooklyn-bound L train
College girl: Do you want glow-in-the-dark body hair?
–LIRR, Penn Station
Overheard by: catherine
Chick in elevator: I don’t complain about stuff. Well, maybe my hair, but only because my hair is, like, really, really important!
–NYU Palladium
Tourist dad braiding wife’s hair: … And that’s what they mean by ‘nappy-headed hos.’
–Central Park South
Overheard by: eric
Chick with Pirate Queen playbill: Besides, you could tell that the other clan wasn’t going to get very far, because the clan leader just didn’t have very good hair.
–44th & 9th
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Flight attendant: Everyone, please remain seated until the captain turns off the ‘Fasten seatbelt’ sign. That includes annoying little girls with dark brown, curly hair.
–JetBlue flight, JFK
Girl #1: Come on, smell it!
Girl #2: Why would I put my nose close to the poop in your hair?
–14th & Ave A
Black guy, cutting in front of line at movie theater: Excuse me, Barack Obama is President now. Thank you.
–AMC Movie Theater
Overheard by: Emmy
Man with hand stuck in bus door to bus driver: We got a black President and you actin' like this? You civil service!
–14D Bus
Sketching Jamaican hobo: Obama is some kinda skateboard.
–Shuttle to Times Square
Subway hobo: How come Obama don't have sex with his wife no more? Because every time she opens her legs, he sees bush!
–1 Train
Man to toddler in his arms: That's Obama. He's gonna save us all from doom! From doom!
–University & 12th St
Leggy blond: Maybe it isn't spit.
Short brunette: Sniff my hair.
Leggy blond: What?
Short brunette: I said, “sniff my hair”!
Leggy blond: No!
(short brunette glares, leggy blonde sniffs her ponytail)
Short brunette: What does it smell like?
Leggy blond: Shampoo.
Short brunette: Dammit!
–The Kooks Concert, Terminal 5
