Frat boy #1: Remember that pussy I was hittin’ a few weeks ago?
Frat boy #2: Yeah.
Frat boy #1: She’s in a coma now.
Frat boy #2’s girlfriend: That reminds me of that Smiths song, ‘Girlfriend in a Coma.’ Have you ever heard it?
–Virgin Megastore
Frat boy #1: Remember that pussy I was hittin’ a few weeks ago?
Frat boy #2: Yeah.
Frat boy #1: She’s in a coma now.
Frat boy #2’s girlfriend: That reminds me of that Smiths song, ‘Girlfriend in a Coma.’ Have you ever heard it?
–Virgin Megastore
Frat boy: So are you gonna come out drinking tonight?
College girl: Uh no, I haven’t been feeling so well, I’m allergic to rain I think.
Frat boy: Ummm, it’s not raining.
College girl: Yeah, it must have been earlier or something.
–17th & 3rd
Singing hobo: I’m gonna praise Him! I’m gonna thank Him in His naaaame!
Dude #1 gives the hobo a dollar.
Singing hobo: Thank you. God bless you.
Dude #2: Dude, my balls still hurt.
Dude #1: Did you take anything?
–Northbound N
Overheard by: Matt Hartwick
Guy: I’m gonna go take a shower.
Girl #1: Yeah, I want to take a shower, too.
Girl #2: Oooh! Me, too!
Girl #1: Let’s take a joint shower!
–2 train
Overheard by: already showered
Gigantic suit, urinating outside: Excuse me, ladies. I apologize for that.
Ladies: It’s OK.
Gigantic suit: There’s a big black cock on the loose.
–19th & Broadway
Overheard by: becca
Girl #1: You look really smart today.
Girl #2, with hand tucked in armpit: I look really smart? Why, because I’m putting corn starch on my wet parts?
–33rd & 3rd
Woman: Oh, he looked so old and sick in that movie. Really horrible.
Man: You know he died, right?
Woman: Oh, they must have made the movie before that.
–NJ Transit train out of Penn Station
Overheard by: confabulation nation
Girl: I can’t go to the bathroom, I can’t eat grapes, I… I’ll be in a bubble!
–Brooklyn bound F train
Hipster girl, emerging from Port-a-Potty: Hey, guys, you have to feel this toilet paper! It’s like silk!… I know, I’m a weirdo.
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Overheard by: Roz
Suit: I swear to God, it came out sideways. It hurt coming out, then I got up and looked at it, and it was floating sideways.
–Manhattan bound J train
Overheard by: Barry P.
Voice from bathroom stall: Yes!
–Women’s bathroom, Hunter College
Overheard by: acep
Girl, to friend washing her hands: Come on, let’s just go. There are more germs on the sink than on the toilet.
–Restroom, Grand Central Station
Woman, walking out of stall: Left you something!
–Restroom, Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: alan b hutscar
Guy: When I clenched my jaw really hard while I was trying to poop, I think I chipped a tooth.
–14th & 3rd
Teen girl #1: I’m sorry, I’m just paranoid about getting home on time.
Teen girl #2: Pshaw. At least I’m paranoid about good things. I only make myself cry and throw up over boys.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Lotte
Father, to son washing hands after peeing: Come on, son. Don’t waste water.
–Universal Artists Theater, Staten Island
Overheard by: David
