Wednesday Sung Liners

Metalhead, playing guitar and singing: Buy some fuckin' poptarts /buy some fuckin' weed/ buy some fuckin' cigarettes/buy everything you need!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: j

Singing hobo pushing cart: I am wiiiise. I am wise!

–Union Square Station

Overly flamboyant gay guy, singing: I kissed a girl and I liked iiiit. (swishes hips while walking)

–11th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Mal Sullivan

Singing gay guy to another, clapping hands in rhythm: You look like a cunt, you act like a cunt, you smell like a cunt, you feel like a cunt…

–2 Train

Overheard by: drew

Hobo, getting into train and taking out electric guitar and amp: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please! This song is for the white lady with the orange pocketbook. She reminds me of Martha Stewart…when she got out of jail. (starts singing) 3 train white lady is my girl, my girl, my girl!

–Downtown 3 Train

Overheard by: Jingles

Little girl in stroller, singing happily: Doe, a deer, a hee-hale deer. Ray, a drop of golden pee-pee…

–E Train

Posted on January 27, 2015
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Hobos, Insults, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, Music, Musicians, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Pee, Physical appearance, Prison, Queer guys, Race, Shopping, Singing, Smoking, Street, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Village, Union Square and East Village, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Weirdness, Words

Throw Her From the Train

Old woman: What, you want to push me out the window?
Old man: I would, but unfortunately you won’t fit.
Old woman: Bastard.

–M31 bus

Posted on January 26, 2015
Age/Aging, Comebacks, Insults, Men, Old People, On the Bus, Wishes & desires, Women

We Also Carry Real New York Beatings

Woman #1: You ever just have one of those days?
Woman #2: Yeah.
Woman #1: I’m having a whole week. I swear to god. And I just walked here from…Oh, forget it.
Woman #2: Oh.
Woman #1: And now I can’t even find my makeup! I swear to god, if they don’t have it, I’m gonna fucking…I don’t know!…I’ll fucking kill a tourist!
Woman #2: Oh, I hope it’s not me!…Ha, ha, ha!

5 minutes later.

Woman #2: That’s her! That’s her! That’s the New Yorker who cursed at me and threatened me!
Woman #3: It’s like seeing one in their natural habitat! I can’t wait to tell everyone a real New Yorker threatened you!
Woman #2: I know! It’s awesome!

–Sephora, Broadway between 43rd & 44th

Overheard by: Non-Bitchy New Yorker

Posted on January 26, 2015
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Anger Management, Assholes, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Only in New York, Store, Threats, Tourists, Violence, Women

Don’t Give Me None of That “Light Through Yonder Breaks” Shit, Neither

Crazy bag lady on the l train: It is the winter of our discontent!
Ghetto girl #1: I dunno what you talkin’ bout. It’s content up in this motherfuckin’ winter. Maybe your ass would be contenter if you got a job.
Ghetto girl #2: Girl, shut up. You ain’t got no job either.

–L Train

Overheard by: ForniKate

Posted on January 22, 2015
Advice, Bag ladies, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Default, Ghetto Chicks, Homeless, Insults, Jobs & Careers, On the Subway, Words

Wednesday Om-Liners

Earth chick on cell: I had meditation and yoga class today. So, if you're coming over tonight we have to have spiritual sex.

–Barnes & Noble

Guy on cell: You're never going to believe this, but I need to tell you anyways. I just did some witchcraft.

–9th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Smoking Student

Yoga teacher: Not being able to do something can teach you a lot about yourself. Like how you're a fucking loser.

–Midtown

Rich white girl with dog in purse: Yeah, so when I went to go buy a dog, I picked Pookie out because he's a Pisces and I'm a Virgo, and that way our personalities will match.

–C Train

Overheard by: evan

White dude to another: I'd like to see what his chi looks like.

–Chinatown

Overheard by: Aileen

Posted on January 21, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Chinatown, Girls, Guys, Insults, Magic, Man's Best Friend, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Psychology, Rich people, School and studying, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Shopping, Store, Street, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People, Wishes & desires, Yoga

…Even When She Chose Brandon Over Dylan?

Guy in suit #1: Damn, you know who is hot? Megan Fox. It's her attitude too. I mean, you know there is no way you could ever keep up with her.
Guy in suit #2: Bet that dude she's fucking from 90210 can't keep up.
Guy in suit #3: I was always a fan of Brenda.
Guy in suit #2: Really, I was more of Kelly.
Guy in suit #1: What the fuck?!

–86th St b/w 2nd & 3rd

Overheard by: 90s Nostalgia

Posted on January 21, 2015
About Celebrities, Gossip, Insults, Sex, Suits, Upper East Side

It's Not Just Trees That Have Trouble Growing in Brooklyn

Mother to toddler: Do I love you a lot or a little?
Toddler: A little?
Mother: No, a lot! It's your shithead father that only loves you a little!

–Jay St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Margaret

Posted on January 20, 2015
Brooklyn, Insults, Kids, Love, Moms, Parents, Questions, Weirdness

He Also Blew the Whistle on Big Tobacco

Hipster girl on cell: Kim, I’m such a spaz! I forgot it was Wednesday, and I forgot I was supposed to meet you for lunch. So I’m on the Upper East Side and —
Black guy yelling: No, you ain’t! You at Union Square, bitch!
Hipster girl on cell: –Sorry. I’m on the Upper East Side and I don’t have time to go downtown right now.

–Union Square

Posted on January 20, 2015
Black People, Girls, Hipsters, Insults, Lies, NYC Geography, On Cell, Union Square and East Village

…That's Terrorism!

Husband on airplane: I would rather beg for mercy from Saddam Hussein than from you.
Wife: He's dead, keep your insults current.
(ten minutes after)
Husband: Bin Laden, that's who I meant.
Wife: (silence)
Husband: Have a Life Saver.
Wife, annoyed: You giving me a green one?

–Flight over JFK

Overheard by: Laurie Gwen Shapiro

Posted on January 19, 2015
About Celebrities, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Death, Insults, JFK Airport, Terrorism

Wednesday One-Liners for Ralph Nader… Not!

Sorority chick leaving a democratic rally where hillary clinton spoke: God, they all sounded so political!

–Wagner College

5 year-old boy (to his mother): Is it true that obama's going to raise taxes?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Jen

Woman on cell: I'm trying to find joe sixpack. (pause) no, I don't know joe sixpack.

–98th & Broadway

Several middle-aged, wealthy #40 something upper east side ladies at the dinner table next to us at a french restaurant, discussing politics. The last point on sarah palin: "her hair's fine, her glasses are fine, her clothes are ok but I'm sorry, she's a fucking loser."

–Jacques Brasserie — Upper East Side

Overheard by: Lindsey Miller

Drunk girl: "if lil' wayne was president, things would be running much more smoothly."

–E Houston St & Lafayette St,

Overheard by: Teddy

"my cousin said that obama is the antichrist."
(pause).
"that's mad rude, right?"

–M66

Overheard by: Charley

Posted on January 17, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Bus, Clothing, College, Compare/Contrast, Drunks, Girls, Government, Hair, Insults, Kids, Moms, Names, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Politics, President, Religion, Restaurants & Cafes, Soho, Sorority Girls, Street, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Insults