Daughter: Mommy, I think I can spell “funky.” F-u-c-k-y.
Dad: No, that's… that's a bad word.
Mom: No, honey, funky is spelled f-u-n-c-k-y.
–7 Train
Daughter: Mommy, I think I can spell “funky.” F-u-c-k-y.
Dad: No, that's… that's a bad word.
Mom: No, honey, funky is spelled f-u-n-c-k-y.
–7 Train
Girl #1 jumps around in glee after giving a man directions: Oh my god! He totally believed I was a New Yorker!
Girl #2: I guess your junkie face really makes you fit in here…bitch!
–Bowery & Delancy
Two-year-old, pointing to Citibank: That's my bank!
–7th Ave & President St, Park Slope
Overheard by: But who's your insurance carrier?
Nine-year old boy on cell: Well, you know what? Fuck you! I'm going home! (slams cell shut and begins strutting across parking lot)
–Parking Lot, Staten Island Mall
Overheard by: WTF????
Ten-year-old girl in bathing suit to seven-year-old girl: Stop touching my ass. Whore!
–Park, Astoria
Little girl to group of little girls: Raise your hand if you're allergic to penicillin!
–R Train
Overheard by: cole
Little girl to friends, pointing at platform: That's where hobos live!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Jesus Jon
Three-year-old boy, eating hamburger: Cock cock cock cock!
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Alexis from Texas
Kid in cart at end of dairy aisle as man he came in with goes down aisle: Ssomeone's gonna take me! Someone's take me!
–Stop & Shop, Kingsbridge, Bronx
Overheard by: Krisztina
(teen #1 presses the 26th floor button. Teen #2 presses 21-25th floors for fun)
Teen #1: Dude, what the hell did you do that for?! You're an idiot, I hope you fall off my roof and die!
(pause)
Teen #3, seriously: Can we unpress it?
–Elevator, Bay Ridge
Suit #1: Gee, I really want a turkey sandwich.
Suit #2: Well, I suppose we could stop at the bread factory.
Hobo: You’re both queer!
Suit #2: How disenchanting.
–55th & 8th
Overheard by: Conrad
Ice queen: She a ho. She be, like, talkin’ to mad guys and whatever, and she had sex with all six of those brothers.
Sensible girl, after long pause: Who are you to be calling anyone a ho?
–A train, Jay St
Heavyset guy: Hey, I don't mind telling you. I'm a psychopath. I don't give a fuck about people.
Woman in wheelchair-scooter: Mm-hmm. Oh, I know.
Heavyset guy: Yeah, I just I don't give a fuck. I'll be a psychopath till the day I die, and I don't even care. I'm not gonna lie about it.
–Lenox & 129th
Guy walking St. Bernard: Watch where you swing that fucking cigarette!
Young hipster: Upscale yuppie!
Guy: You say that like it's a bad thing.
–18th & Park Ave
Overheard by: Class Warmonger
(at an academic conference on Renaissance aesthetics)
Student #1: You know it's gonna be good when all the speakers are British.
Student #2: Pretty sure they're Australian.
Student #1: Oh… Posers!
–Gallatin Building, NYU
Overheard by: harker
Young guy: Well, I called her a ho, but I didn't mean it.
Young girl: But she was your date!
–14th St & 7th Ave
