Middle school-aged girl: I think the video of us dancing is on the internet!
Friend: Are you sure that's a good idea?
Middle school-aged girl: Whatever, no one will see it!
–19th & Broadway
Overheard by: Mikaela
Middle school-aged girl: I think the video of us dancing is on the internet!
Friend: Are you sure that's a good idea?
Middle school-aged girl: Whatever, no one will see it!
–19th & Broadway
Overheard by: Mikaela
Dude to girl: Just yesterday I was smoking a joint and my grandma was all "that smells good, Johnny, that smells good."
–Hop Scotch Cafe
Overheard by: bildita
Girl: Speaking of back-door entry, my grandma sent me an e-mail the other day.
–A Train
Overheard by: naiad
Woman: He's just lucky I learned some tricks from his great grandma.
–Dekalb Ave & Ashland Place
Guy to girl: You look like one of them li'l ass frilly dolls my grandma have on her bed. Cute. (girl stares) What, I'm not gonna get a thank-you for that?
–Canal St.
Overheard by: The
Girl to friend: And so my grandmother was that mail order bride!
–Beauty Salon, East Village
Overheard by: moca
Young woman on phone to friend: I have a fucking physics degree! I can read! He trusts me to run a motherfucking particle accelerator, I can read the mail!
–46th & 6th
Overheard by: Eggmen7
Hobo holding a crumpled napkin high in the air: Science! S-c-…-i-e-n-…-c-e! I did it! Science! Science! S-c-i…-e-n-c-e! I did it!
–Mulberry & Spring
Overheard by: Erica L.
Suit to friend: I'm an evolution science guy. If you want to believe in that nonsense then you gotta admit your god is an underachiever with a good publicist.
–45th b/w 6th & 7th
Woman to teen who has just spilled his coffee on sidewalk: Yeah, gravity is interesting like that.
–35th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Jeggy
Male student to female student: Looking out for yourself–the id, the ego–it's part of natural selection, human nature, you know? But there aren't that many people who choose to try to overcome that. Or if there are, I haven't met them. If there's a colony somewhere, I'd like to meet them. Maybe it's just like going to the wrong nightclub, you know?
–Hoffman St & E 187th St
Overheard by: Lucy
Dude on cell: How are you, on a subatomic level?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy: I finally found someone who's as crazy about me as I am!
–1st Ave & 2nd St
Young guy to girlfriend: Sometimes I listen to myself and I think, "How do I know *so much* about marketing?"
–Downtown E Train
Guy to friend in movie theater, just before movie starts: Dude, my blog post today was *so* good.
–Loews Theater, 34th St
Girl: I'm attractive and I have a lot of friends!
–PATH Train
Overheard by: tb
Girl to friends: Hey guys… I'm really glad we're us. Or else I'd be really jealous of us.
–West Village
Overheard by: Max
Girl on cell: No, mom, I'm not going to flag submissive at a fucking porn convention, pardon my French.
–170th St & Audubon Ave
Blonde to male companion getting off train: Good luck beating those kiddie porn charges!
–N Train
Overheard by: Marin M.
Straight-laced businessman on phone: It's because you won't stop downloading all that porn! If you quit, the popups won't come back.
–Ditmars & 37th, Astoria
Guy: They confuse me for a porn star; no, they don't confuse me with a porn star, they just think I'm a porn star because of my name!
–NYU
Tall thin statuesque black girl looking intently into white guy's eyes: Do you want an open relationship or just want to do porn?
–Midtown
Overheard by: toughchoice
High school girl: On the internet, Nike will let you put your name on some dunks.
High school boy: They gonna let you put “hooker” on their shoe?
High school girl (pissed): I told you that ain't my name!
–W. 72nd Station
Guy on cell: I'm 35. What? That's too old for you? Age ain't nothing but a number, baby. And, I work sometimes too. And I don't smoke. Well, I smoke, but I don't smoke smoke, ya know. And, I've only been in jail once, but that was a long time ago and I've learned. I even read now.
Girl nearby to friend: See, I told you signing up for match.com would be a bad idea. You can never tell who'll answer your ads.
–Atlantic Ave & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Susan
Girl: She wants me to make a distribution e-mail for four people!
Gay: You better do it.
Girl: Or what? They'll take away my blow-up Statue of Liberty desk statue?
–6 Train
20-something chick #1: Theresa hasn’t responded to that e-mail yet.
20-something chick #2: Is that the one where we told her we don’t like her?
–Sephora, 58th & Lex
Overheard by: Russ Wall
