Little girl walking in wedding dress: Where now?
Dad: Okay, so we'll take the stairs to the subway and…
Little girl: Oh no! Not the stairs. No! I'm not taking the stairs. You can't make me. And the subway…? (scoffs at dad)
–Port Authority
Overheard by: WalkonBystander
Little girl: I'm gonna be 4!
Mom: In December.
Little girl: In December!
Mom: And you're gonna be this short forever. You're not gonna grow.
Little girl: Whaaa-aaaat?
–Q Train
Overheard by: Brigid
Little boy looking at a poster for “dance your a$$ off”: That guy is fat, she is fat, they are all fat.
Boy's friend: They are all very fat.
Babysitter: Hey, that isn't nice.
Little boy: But they are fat.
–1 Train
Overheard by: UWSider
Woman sitting in front of bar with friends: I approached motherhood like I approached my art…
–9th St & Ave C
Overheard by: Juliet
Street artist to tourist: I don't have empathy, I paint empathy.
–Soho
Hipster arty type to another: She deserves to be roofied; her prints are horrible.
–Pratt Institute
Hipster to another, at Georgia O'Keefe exhibit: That's a lot of vaginas.
–Whitney Museum
Four-year-old boy to father, at 17th century furniture room: This place gives me the creeps!
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Me too
Mother to child: I seen that picture you did of that boy kissing that girl. (pause) Darren, your art shit is going far!
–Times Square
Female security guard to sneezing kid: Cover your mouth when you sneeze. We don't need no swine flu in here.
(other library patrons laugh)
Female security guard: Yeah, I said it!
–Brooklyn Public Library
Overheard by: The City Planner
Excited young children: Look, it's a polar bear!!!
Jaded mother, in thick New York accent: Get a good look; they're not going to be in the world much longer.
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Sarah
Ten-year-old girl #1: You suck at this game!
Ten-year-old girl #2: One day it will come in handy!
–Summer Camp, Staten Island
Overheard by: never know what you'll over hear as a camp counselor
Ebullient cashier: Good morning, sir!
Yuppie, trying to control his two rambunctious children: What's so fucking good about it?
–Union Market, Park Slope
Overheard by: Thinking the same thing
Conductor: We have eleven cars today. If we only have five cars tomorrow, don't have short term memory loss and say, "five cars, this happens all the time."
–Metro North
Hot dog vendor to guys standing behind stand: 100 times I've fucked, and have 98 kids.
–Outside Metropolitan Museum of Art
Teen hipster girl to friend : On a scale of one to ten, how many cars are coming?
–33rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Erika
Angry man on cell: Don't talk to me like that! I'll leave you! I will leave you! You know how many women there are in this world? (pause) A thousand!
–45th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Native Ear
NYU professor: Stay away from drugs. (pause) Unless they're recreational and you know what you're doing!
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: liz
Tall kid: I don't like opiates in general. I'm for up, not down. At any rate, I have a fucking honky horn!
–Hunter College High School
Guy: I think I need to do more shrooms and acid.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: Jordan
Girl to friend: You should try something natural, like shrooms.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Julie
Druggie clerk on cell: I mean: come on, man! That's my fucking apartment. If he wants to smoke weed or shoot up in my apartment, it's like, whatever. But crack? No. That's my fucking home. Seriously.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Emmy
