Hispanic construction man to hot girl passing by: Ay! Qué linda!
Hot girl: Who's Linda?
–33rd b/w 8th & 9th
Hispanic construction man to hot girl passing by: Ay! Qué linda!
Hot girl: Who's Linda?
–33rd b/w 8th & 9th
Drunk queer: I am not gay! Just remind me of that later.
–Bushwick
Overheard by: uninvited party guest
Lemming: Are we still following the Gaylords or are we becoming Independent?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Midwesterner: I had a dream that I had a lot of funny faggot friends. It was so much fun! Then I woke up.
–Avents
Metrosexual: So, I’m thinking of becoming gay. What about you? Are you still gay?
–35th & Broadway
Chick on cell: I mean, when it’s just the two of us, he’s really gay — and I’m talking gayer than you — and frankly, that’s gay… And I don’t understand why he can’t just be that gay on stage… So hey, did you hear about that plane crash? Yeah… yeah… yeah, New Yorkers are really sensitive to planes crashing into buildings — something must have happened a while ago or something… Yeah, so I think I’m going to have sex with that guy from Craigslist… Although, he is ten years older than me, so if he’s looking for commitment he can have sex with me while he’s looking… It is not trashy — you can’t do anything trashy in your early 20s. I still have four more years until I have to even start thinking about being too trashy… Hey, can I call you back? I have to call my mom.
–10 express bus
French woman: So this Gaydar… It is like a radar? For the gays?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Latina on cell: I’ll fucking kill him. I will. I’ll fucking kill him. I don’t know. No. He’s not. I just hate it that he thinks he can treat you like that. I mean, I’ll fucking kill him even though he’s a man, you know? I’ll fucking walk up to him and, like, stab him or something. Fuck yeah, I got a knife. I mean, maybe he’s gay, though. That must be it. He’s gay. No, no, no. He’s gay.. He has to be. No, I know he is. It’s a fact. That’s the only thing that makes sense, right? I mean, what other option is there?
–Graham Ave, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Following Quietly Behind
Teenage girl to friend: I'm not even kidding, her asshole was *this* big! (connects her thumbs and pointer fingers making a large circle)
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: soccer mom
Female suit to friends: And the old-timers were just such assholes…
–Walker & W Broadway
Overheard by: j
Big squirming Latin kid: God! I got this burnin' in my asshole, man!
–Xavier High School
Overheard by: seriously?
Concerned friend to sobbing girl: All you did wrong was sleep with him before you knew he was an asshole!
–Coffeeshop, Park Slope
Overheard by: TheGreenCat
Woman babbling in Spanish: Mushrooms! Fuck him! I can’t even tell you how… Fucking mushrooms… Michael Jordan? Really? Oy… It’s like… Uh… I didn’t catch him at the right time, you know?
Man: I don’t know Spanish. You cookin’ dinner tonight? Shit.
–6 train
Overheard by: Lauren Michelle
Lawyer to Latina secretary: Yes, I meant do it now! What did you think I meant, tomorrow? Don't make me go all Hiram Monserrate on you!
Latina secretary: Okay, I'll do it now.
Lawyer: You don't even know who Hiram Monserrate is, do you?
Latina secretary: No, who is he?
Lawyer: I don't have the time. Google him when you get a chance. On your own time.
–Court St
Overheard by: Big Larry
Chica on cell: He was just white. Like, a white guy. Except Puerto Rican.
–Park Terrace West, Inwood
Overheard by: Gringo Starr
Puerto Rican thug to another, both wearing Puerto Rican flag bandanas as face masks: White people better get used to us. There be like 80 billion of us in the world… Or maybe 8 thousand of us…at least.
–F Train
Overheard by: Brent
Teen on cell: Wait, you're in Puerto Rico? I'll be right there, that's by Chinatown, right? What do you mean it's an island? Like Staten Island? How the fuck did you get there?
–Colombus Circle
Overheard by: Graham Davis
JAP on phone: He called me a clingy JAP! How fucking low! I could've easily pulled the "you're-a-Puerto-Rican-from-Staten-Island" card.
–92nd & 5th
Guy (shouting): Hey guys! You like Puerto Ricans?!
–Times Square
Overheard by: CytoFox
Dad on scooter with eight-year-old girl: I don't want to hear that… Don't fuckin' push me, Joanna! You are not black, you are Puerto Rican!
–Flatbush & Fulton
Overheard by: Chelsea
Latina: He could just touch a spot and get you off.
Latino: Jesus could get you off just thinkin’ about you.
–Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Hispanic guy to tall guy passing by: Pssst!
(tall guy turns head without stopping)
Tall guy: No, thanks. (keeps walking and Hispanic guy starts following him)
Hispanic guy: Psssssst!
(tall guy stops at door, opens it)
Hispanic guy: Oh, you live here. I live over there. Why don't you let me suck your dick?
–35th & 9th
Overheard by: Brad
Latino #1: Man, that nigga is black!.
Latino #2: Fo’ real. He could, like, walk into a funeral butt-naked, that nigga so black.
–Taco Bell, Northern Blvd, Woodside
Overheard by: playbill staffer
White teacher to ninth grade class: Okay, everyone, drop your papers on my desk. Drop it like it's hot!
Latino student (laughing): Miss, you can't say things like “drop it like it's hot”!
White teacher: Why not?
Latino student: 'cause you're white! White people don't say things like “drop it like it's hot”. White people say things like “neat!” and “there is no “I” in team”.
–The Bronx