Thug #1: He got married!
Thug #2: He got married?
Thug #1: Yeah, man, he married that chick!
Thug #2: What chick?
Thug #1: Oh, lord, there were so many.
–40th & 7th
Overheard by: Arielle
Thug #1: He got married!
Thug #2: He got married?
Thug #1: Yeah, man, he married that chick!
Thug #2: What chick?
Thug #1: Oh, lord, there were so many.
–40th & 7th
Overheard by: Arielle
Little girl looking at hobo: Mommy how do you get money if you don't have any?
Trophy mom: You just get married, honey.
–18th & Broadway
Mother to five-year-old daughter: That's why she's a very smart woman. She married a very rich man for exactly that reason.
–University Place &10th St
Overheard by: evanescent
Homeless man to little boy with parents: Ask your mama why she marry your daddy. She'll tell you it was for the money.
–Statue of Liberty
Sorority girl to another: So like, do you think Brad makes good investments?
–53rd & 1st
Asian girl on cell: It's like I have a sign that says "trophy wife" written across my forehead, and then they find out I'm 22 and the sign is suddenly in neon.
–Tribeca
Girl on cell: No, you remember, I'm going to be a gold-digger! It's like a hooker, but smarter.
–NYU Classroom
8-year-old boy to friend: You can't stop me, I'm the Indian man! You can't stop me, I'm the gingerbread man! You can't stop me, I'm the Jewish man!
Friend: You can't stop me, I'm the Indian man!
8-year-old boy: All the single ladies! All the single ladies! If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it!
Friend: You can't stop me, I'm the Indian man!
8-year-old boy: Stop with the Indian thing!
–McDonald's
Overheard by: Brittany
Guy #1: I used to know the price of a bag of weed. Now I know the price of a pound of New Zealand apples.
Guy #2: Yeah, I know. I used to know the price of a lap dance from a good stripper. Now I know the price of an engagement ring.
Guy #1: What happened to you?
–33rd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Todd
Girl #1: He doesn't even love you.
Girl #2: Yeah, but I'm the only one who can get him to cheat on his wife!
–Webster Hall
Girl to another, loudly: Oh my god! Where the fuck were you this morning? I was about to text you, but I realized you couldn't text. And I couldn't text either! And you wouldn't pick up your phone! And I needed to talk to you! But I couldn't reach you! So I just like fucking sat there and screamed for ten minutes!
–B9 Bus
20-something male to friend: I am so MIA right now. I am MIA. Like, I text you, but I am MIA. Like, so many people send texts to me, and I'm just MIA.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: dallas
Girl leaving movie: Well, I'm sure she'll send out a mass text the second she has her baby.
–AMC Theater 19th & Broadway
Overheard by: Julie
20-something to another: Tiffany, I know I left Jason at the altar…but why didn't he text me back?
–1849 Bar, MacDougal & Bleecker
Laughing hobo to another: That is the funniest joke I've ever heard! You have to text that to me!
–St. Mark's Church, 2nd Ave & 9th St
Overheard by: cody
Guy #1: You know her?
Guy #2: Yeah! The girl with a face like a chipmunk…Poor thing’s gonna die a virgin.
Guy #1: She’s married.
Guy #2: Married? Married to what?
–F train
Gay guy on cell: And they had the guy with the biggest butt stand next to the guy with the second-biggest butt! Seriously, what is wrong with them?
–6th Ave & 12th
Woman getting on a crowded train, looking for a seat: See, I told you there would be a lot of behinds on this train!
–N Train
Overheard by: Some behind lucky enough to find a seat.
Thug to another: After I wipe his ass, I'm gonna beat his ass!
–86th & Park Ave
Woman on cell: So, what are you going to tell him? "Sorry, I can't marry you–your ass is broken"?
–1st & 23
Teen to friend: Why didn't he use a tennis racket? It would have left that waffle fry look on your ass.
–Bus to Penn Station
Skipping tween girl to metrosexual father: I've seen your butt, you know!
–72nd & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: Shannon
Man #1: I love my iPod. If it were a woman, I’d marry it.
Man #2: You’ve got some serious issues, man.
–Jane Street Coffee Shop
