Wednesday One-Liners to Go Gaga Over

Teenage boy in suit to others: Apparently I look a lot like Lady Gaga.

–42nd St

Overheard by: model UN delegate

Elderly man to elderly woman: Gaga… What's a gaga? He went to see Lady Gaga! Gaga… Gaga? Gaga? (goes on for some minutes)

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: Jill

Girl to friends, all singing Lady Gaga: I just want to take her face and put it in my vagina. That's how obsessed I am with Lady Gaga.

–7th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Stephanie

Girl: Lady Gaga is not going to sit on your face.

–12th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Cass

Posted on June 9, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, Names, Old People, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, Questions, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners

Can Anyone But Her See Bobby?

Girl, screaming for two straight minutes: bobby! Bobby! Bobby!
Woman to friend: I don't think Bobby wants to talk to her.

–Astoria

Overheard by: bunhead

Posted on May 20, 2010
Astoria, Friends, Girls, Names, Wishes & desires, Women

The One-Liners on the Wednesday Go Round and Round, Round and Round…

Bus driver: This bus is at capacity, so do me a favor: Move I-N, not O-U-T, and that's what she said.

–M14D Bus

Overheard by: The Average Commuter

Bus driver: Next stop is Malcolm X… No, it's not. What's his cousin's name? Oh yeah. Next stop is Frederick Douglas Boulevard.

–M60 Bus

Overheard by: polaco

Bus driver: When exiting the bus please take all of your trash with you. If you leave it on the bus you are a horrible person.

–34th St Bus

Bus driver, singing at every stop: Fifty niiiinnnth and Central Park Souuuuuthhhh. Ladies and gentlemeeeeennnn, have a wonderful daaaaayyyyyy!

–M4 Bus

Female bus driver: Everyone, squeeze in, I won't move this bus until ya'll are behind the line. Move back! Move! Squeeze! Remember to say "excuse me"! Move back! I will pull this bus over, ladies and gentlemen, move behind the line! (everyone shuffles a few inches back) It's a miracle! Thank you, Lord!

–BX12 Bus

Overheard by: Erica S

Posted on May 5, 2010
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Apologies, Bus, Bus Drivers, Directions, Family Ties, God, Names, On the Bus, One-liners, Passengers, Public Transportation, Sex, Singing, Wednesday One-Liners

Wednesday One-Liners Think Bugs Bunny Is Gay

Fat girl to friends: You know who I want to be? Motherfucking Rainbow Brite. Bitch had a flying horse.

–29th & 7th

20-something guy, following very loud clap of thunder: By the power of Greyskull!

–Center Boulevard, Long Island City

Overheard by: mixxy5

Hobo, to no one in particular: Find me on the computer; my name's Scooby-Doo.

–Starbucks

Cop to partner: God, working with you is like working with Stewie Griffin. (whiney) Briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaan… Briiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaan!

–Train

Posted on April 28, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Computer, Cops, Coworkers, Fat People, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hobos, Jobs & Careers, Long Island, Movies, Names, Nicknames & name calling, One-liners, Starbucks, Trains Not Subway, TV, Weather, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

With the Pink Hair Standing Straight Up and All

Saleslady #1: You look like one of those dolls. I forget what they're called.
Saleslady #2: A doll? Oh, like a Barbie?
Saleslady #1: Nah, not a Barbie. I forget what these dolls are called. They're kinda short…
Saleslady #2: Kinda short? A Bratz doll?
Saleslady #1: No… Ummm… No, not a Bratz doll… Oh yeah, they're called Trolls. You look like a Troll.

–Old Navy

Overheard by: MG

Posted on April 23, 2010
Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Names, Pop Culture, Store

In New York, Even a Compliment Can Get You Beaten Up

Doo-wop busker: Hey man, anyone ever tell you that you look just like Wynton Marsalis?
Black guy who does actually look like Wynton Marsalis: Who?
White woman: Oh! Yeah, he does!
Doo-wop busker: Yeah, am I right? Wynton Marsalis, in the flesh.
Black guy: I don't even know who that is.
Doo-wop busker: Jazz trumpet, man. Genius.
White woman: He's a wonderful musician. You should look him up!
Black guy: Uh, sure. What was the name again?
Doo-wop busker: Wyn-ton. Mar-sa-lis. They ever make a movie of his life, you got it made.

–R Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on April 19, 2010
About Celebrities, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Movies, Music, Musicians, Names, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Questions, White People

You Can't Say “Engelbert Humperdinck” in a Gay Bar, Sir

Bar patron, listening to Sweet Caroline: Wow. I've never heard this version before. It's cool! Who's singing?
Twinkie bartender: It's from that show Glee. I've never heard the original, though. Whose song is it?
Bar patron: Oh, man, that takes me back. Englebert Humperdinck. A guy named Englebert Humperdinck–he wrote it for Caroline Kennedy.

–Gay Bar, West Village

Overheard by: Bob

Posted on April 16, 2010
About Celebrities, Bars & Clubs, Bartenders, Bosses, Gays and Lesbians, Music, Names, Questions, Singing, West Village

Wednesday One-Liners' Cocktail Hour Started Back in the Eighties

Cop to another: Are you drunk yet?

–Corner of 145th St

Frustrated-sounding NYU student to friend: Well, why don't you get a girl and you can just pretend she's drunk?

–Washington Square

Future rabbi: So my philosophy professor, Lenny Kravitz, told us we'll be drinking scotch in class tomorrow…

–4th & Broadway

Drunk black guy arguing on phone: Man, you need to stop drinkin'. Not only is yo speech gettin' slurred, but yo brains is gettin' slurred too!

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Ashley

Dude to friend: I swear to god, every time he gets a little buzzed he thinks he's Austin Powers.

–40th & 7th

Overheard by: thivnav

Posted on April 7, 2010
About Celebrities, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Body Parts, Cops, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Education, Friends, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Jews, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Music, Names, One-liners, Parks, Philosophy, Questions, Relationships, School and studying, Street, Students, Stupidity, The Village, Trains Not Subway, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners

Who Says Girls Are Bad at Meth?

Teenage girl #1, taking drag off cigarette: So yeah–she has totally been taking that medicine, you know? The one that makes you stay awake. What's it called?
Teenage girl #2, taking cig from friend and inhaling : Ummm… Crystal meth ?

–42nd St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Nikki

Posted on April 2, 2010
Hard Drugs, Medicine, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Names, Teens

Names