Wednesday One-Liners Sharpen Their Elbows

Tourist to boyfriend: Why are there so many humans here?

–Times Square

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this n train is very crowded. There is a w train one minute behind this one with air conditioning, legroom, and color tv.

–N Train

Overheard by: Thinking about switching

Guy: Y'all can't crowd up here! I don't want to name any names, but there's a baby back there that just got stepped on.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Samantha Chastain

Girl walking up stairs, suddenly turning around: Oh, nuh-uh! Get your forehead out of my ass!

–F Train

Posted on June 23, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Body Parts, Boyfriends, Conductors, Girls, Guys, Names, On the Subway, One-liners, Passengers, Public Transportation, Questions, Times Square, Tourists, TV, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Sending a Letter?

Tourist mother: Wait, do they call it ground zero because it's on zero street?
Tourist son: I'm pretty sure that's not why, mom.
Tourist mother: Well, then what's the address?

–E Train

Overheard by: Andrew Larsen

Posted on June 20, 2010
Ground Zero, Moms, Names, On the Subway, Tourism, Tourists

Notice That Little Puddle on the Floor?

Out-of-place preppy: Hey, I think that's Grace. Isn't that Grace, dude? Grace! Grace!
Not Grace: Nope, sorry. It's Beth, actually. (keeps walking)
Not Grace's girlfriend: You know, you didn't have to tell them your real name.
Not Grace: I know, I just got excited.

–2nd Ave

Overheard by: Also Not Grace.

Posted on June 20, 2010
Girlfriends, Manhattan, Names, Preppies, Strangers, Street, Stupidity

What's Black and White and Wednesday One-Linered All Over?

Guy on phone on Halloween night: So I realize it's last minute, but we need a fourth ghostbuster… and you are black.

–3rd Ave

Overheard by: Supertaint

Teenage girl to group of friends: Ya know, I used to think that John Lennon and John Legend were the same person. Every time I saw John Legend I thought, "damn, that's whack that John Lennon would walk around in black face!"

–M116 Bus, East Harlem

Overheard by: NC

20-something black guy to 20-something white girl: It's New Year's Eve, baby–have sex with a black man tonight! Have sex with a black man on New Year's Eve! (girl laughs, turns to look at him) Hey–it don't have to be me! It's New Year's Eve, have sex with a black man tonight!

–Suffolk & Delancey

Passenger, about ghetto kids who just got off train: Damn, they were like the black Jersey Shore!

–Uptown 2 Train

Overheard by: kids these days

Posted on June 16, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Bus, Celebrations/Parties, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Laughter, Lower East Side, Music, Names, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Passengers, Physical appearance, Pick-up Lines, Race, Sex, Street, Stupidity, Teens, TV, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Wednesday One-Liners, White People

Wednesday One-Liners Won't Do This Again. 'Til Nex Time.

20-something girl to friend: I mean, my husband never asked me a direct question; so I never had to lie. He never said, "what were you doing today at 3 pm?" so I didn't ever have to respond,"screwing my new boyfriend in a Lower East Side apartment that we just rented."

–Max Cafe, Morningside Heights

Girl on cell: This time I'll respect the fact that you're engaged.

–St. Mark's & 1st

Overheard by: spead

White guy to Asian guy: But no sex, because she has a boyfriend… But head is okay…

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: GreenwichSandwich

Man shouting on cell: I'm a spic?! Well, you're a Jew! Besides, how was I supposed to know you had a husband?

–5th Ave & 90th St

30-something guy to another: So I asked this girl if she had any friends she could hook me up with and she responded with an emailed .pdf of names, pictures, phone numbers and a short blurb about each girl. The funniest part was this one girl, it said: "has boyfriend, will fuck other people."

–Union Square West

Overheard by: Brian