“Your Mama's So Wednesday, She's a One-Liner!”

Young woman in need of sympathy: You have to forgive me! My mother, she fucked me up! I'm soooo fucked up!

–7th St & Ave A

Overheard by: stephie

Teenage girl: My mom is a fan of "wild sex" on Facebook.

–Starbucks

Girl in red jacket: It's not the whole gay thing, it's the whole sex-in-front-of-your-mother thing.

–Hudson & Varrick

Man to another, across seat: Get up! Get up, fool. Yo' momma don't love you! And if yo' momma don't love you, don't nobody love you.

–E Train

Male NYU student: Yay, my mom's picking me up!

–NYU

Overheard by: George

Posted on July 7, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Apologies, Facebook, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Insults, Love, Men, NYU, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Pick-up Lines, Promiscuity, Sex, Sexuality, Starbucks, Students, Teens, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Hugs, Not Wednesday One-Liners!

NYU professor: Stay away from drugs. (pause) Unless they're recreational and you know what you're doing!

–NYU Silver Center

Overheard by: liz

Tall kid: I don't like opiates in general. I'm for up, not down. At any rate, I have a fucking honky horn!

–Hunter College High School

Guy: I think I need to do more shrooms and acid.

–Union Square Park

Overheard by: Jordan

Girl to friend: You should try something natural, like shrooms.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Julie

Druggie clerk on cell: I mean: come on, man! That's my fucking apartment. If he wants to smoke weed or shoot up in my apartment, it's like, whatever. But crack? No. That's my fucking home. Seriously.

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Emmy

Posted on June 16, 2010
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Clerks, Compare/Contrast, Druggies, Drugs, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hard Drugs, Home, Sweet Home, Hunter, Insults, Kids, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Sensory Experiences, Teachers/Professors, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Will Mary Kate Olsen Never Graduate?

Teacher: There is a kind of poison acid found in apple seeds.
Blonde: Is that how Johnny Appleseed died?

–NYU

Posted on June 13, 2010
About Celebrities, Death, Education, Fruit, Health and Hygiene, Names, NYU, Questions, Students, Teachers/Professors

Wednesday One-Liners with a Reservoir Tip

Girl on cell: I don't need anything else. I've got 20 dollars, my phone, and a condom.

–11th & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Alex

Flamboyant boy on cell: Wait, where are you? What are you doing? Please tell me you'll wear a condom. (pause, then boy's face grows increasingly horrified) Several condoms.

–Dining Hall, NYU

Street vendor next to hot dog vendor: Get your Obama condoms! They go great with a pretzel!

–Times Square

Overheard by: not another tourist

15-year-old girl: Damn, nigga, I hope you flushed the condom, cuz they be using turkey basters for other shit now. They be taking the condom from the trash can and suck up the cum and put it in theyselves. I know, cuz I messed with a few niggaz who be telling me and I learn in sex ed!

–74 Bus, Staten Island

Posted on June 2, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Bus, Cell Phone, Condoms, Cum, Education, Girls, Kosher food, Money & Class, NYU, On Cell, On the Bus, Paranoia, President, Sex, Staten Island, STDs, Teens, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

I'd Guess Lo-Fat, but I'm Not Sure.

Girl #1: Did you hear about Stacey?
Girl #2: What about her?
Girl #1: She got pregnant.
Girl #2: Oh really? What kind is it?

–NYU

Posted on May 27, 2010
Girls, Gossip, NYU, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions

Also Why He Forgot to Put Yeast in the Bread

Professor: And why did Moses lead the Jews out of Egypt?
Student: Because he was stoned.

–NYU

Posted on May 21, 2010
Education, NYU, Questions, Religion, School and studying, Students, Teachers/Professors, Weed

Almost As Though There'd Been a Wall in Between

Girl #1: So you just got back from Berlin? What was that like?
Girl #2: Great. It's like two cities.

–NYU

Posted on May 11, 2010
Girls, Global Geography, NYU, Questions, Travel

You're a Lot Of Fucking Work, Jason

Guy #1: I don't think you're retarded, you're just a douche.
Guy #2: Wait, but you say I'm retarded all the time!
Guy #3: You're just retarded in some ways.
Guy #2: I really don't think you're underestimating me enough.

–Elevator, Weinstein Hall, NYU

Posted on May 9, 2010
Elevators, Guys, Insults, NYU, Retardation

…and Your Little Dog, Too!

Old black woman on bicycle with yapping dog in basket: Get out of the way! Get the fuck out of the way! Get out of the way, white fuckers!
White man standing in street: Fuck you, you… non-white person!

–NYU

Posted on May 2, 2010
Black People, Insults, Men, NYU, Old People, Race, White People, Women

Really? Me, Too!

NYU girl #1: I think he's to good for me. I'm worried.
NYU girl #2: Hey, you should be happy. If I could find a guy like that I'd stop sleeping with strangers. (pause) I did that all last week!

–Outside Silver Center, NYU

Posted on May 1, 2010
Happiness, NYU, Promiscuity, Relationships, Sorority Girls