Chick: I get in the cab and in five seconds Billy’s got his hands and nose pressed against the glass. And I’m like, stop that! That’s not funny. They’ll think we’re fucking tourists. They’ll take us like the longest fucking way from here. They think we’re fucking tourists. You are not excited by the Brooklyn Bridge! Or the Statue of Liberty!
–Lafayette St.
German tourist: You can’t smoke inside and you can’t drink outside. What the hell do you people do in New York City?
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Christopher
Girl on cell: Hey! What’s new?…What?…I have no life. I don’t know what to tell you.
–Union Square
Meathead: I want to get the Jesus fish tattooed on my back with the Greek letters in it. But my Mom even has a problem with that!
–D train
Guy: The bed shook. It shook with me. The bed shook.
–26th & 3rd
Contributed by: Megan Buckley
Girl: If you want to get a feel for coke, chop up an aspirin and snort it up your nose. That should do it.
–Joseph’s on 49th Street
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Woman upon seeing a Mariachi band walk by: Why do they have tambourines on their legs?
— Manhattan
Girl: …And you hadda stick your damn FINGER down the toilet!
–28th bet. 3rd and Lex
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Girl: She’s a lesbian. Why are you trying to find an excuse that she’s not a lesbian? That’s very rude.
–W Train
A protestor holds a banner reading “Stop the Police State” and is wearing a t-shirt that says the same. He turns to the policeman standing next to him.
Protestor: Do you remember how civilians stopped tanks in Tiannamen Square in 1989? That would NEVER happen here–tanks don’t stop for people here.
–Union Square
