Man: When's your baby's birthday?
Mom: Last week.
Man: Oh, he a Gemini?
Mom: No, he a Tuareg.
Man: Oh, shoot, watch out.
–R Train
Man: When's your baby's birthday?
Mom: Last week.
Man: Oh, he a Gemini?
Mom: No, he a Tuareg.
Man: Oh, shoot, watch out.
–R Train
Dramatically upset woman outside bathroom: I knew I had to pee before, but I chose not to! And now I'm facing the consequences!
–La Lanterna, The Village
Overheard by: Sunny
Woman holding child: Does looking at the fountain make you have to pee? It makes mommy have to pee. It's only natural.
–Bryant Park
Guy to friend: No, seriously, I think I legit peed on that guy!
–30th St & 9th Ave
Guy on cell: No, I will not urinate with you!
–The Met
Woman in turtleneck to suit: I mean, people shouldn't only eat when they're hungry. (pause) Or go to the bathroom when they have to… only. That's like, bad for your bladder!
–86th St & 5th Ave
Woman on cell: I don't care about them. I don't care about their urine. I don't care about their office!
–Court & Carroll, Brooklyn
Three-year-old boy to mother: Mommy, there is a baby in your stomach that is making you throw up.
–G Train
Guy with hand over friend's mouth, encouraging him not to throw up: No! No! No!
–Q Train
Guy, pleading with girl: Don't go home. (pukes on self) Why do you have to go home?
–32nd St & Madison Ave
Man standing next to woman throwing up: Beans and rice… No, corn.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Julian
Two-year-old boy to mom: And after dinner, it's butt-shaking time!
–Brooklyn Heights
Tot in stroller: Mommy, I want the tabouleh… Mommy! My tabouleh!
–Food Emporium
Little brother pestering older brother playing PSP: What do you like better, Nutella or A-Rod?
–Stanton Tailor Shop
Two-year-old, after falling to floor when train swerved: Mother, I resent that.
–G Train
Overheard by: Sunny
Father: And the ending of the story…
Little girl: I don't like this story!
Father: Don't you want to know how the story ends?
Little girl: No! I don't like it!
Father: And the ending of the story is: the mermaid's brain just kept exploding forever and ever and ever. The end.
–Indian Road Cafe, 218th St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Little girl: I just don't understand why…
Dad: Look here: I'll give you the money for the tickets and you can buy the tickets for the movie!
Little girl, sounding less than enthused: Uh-huh. Timmy's five, like me, and he has a cell phone…
–Loews Movie Theater, Lincoln Square
Five-year-old boy to mother, exiting store: When I grow up I want to be a cop!
Mother: You know that cops have to listen.
Five-year-old boy: Oh… I know!
–Century 21, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Nikole
Six-year-old girl #1: I'm going to David & Buster's with my dad.
Six-year-old girl #2: You have a dad!?
Six-year-old girl #1: Yeah, I have a dad. You make it sound like he died or something.
Six-year-old girl #2: But you said your mom isn't married.
Six-year-old girl #1: She isn't.
Six-year-old girl #2: Why not?
Six-year-old girl #1: Because she has a brain. That's what she says. Right, mom?
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Bread82
Woman on cell, sitting at counter: The baby's not out yet…as in "it's still inside her."
–McDonald's, Varick Street
Overheard by: Jordan
College student: It's like taking candy from a baby…only, ya know, I'd ask the mother first.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Dara
Dork walking by Babies "R" Us with friends: Dude, look! I totally wanna buy a baby!
–Union Square South
Guy on cell: That shop smells like babies!
–Union Square
Drunk man in Santa hat to all train passengers: I know all you ladies want to have babies for Christmas, but there's no time for it! Close your legs, there'll be less heads.
–L Train
Overheard by: Handley Elizabeth
Fashion photographer: That's a skirt? I thought it was a hat.
–Fashion Closet, Conde Nast Building
Indecisive woman to friend: I like this sweater in principle.
–Banana Republic, 86th & Broadway
Tween girl to mom: I'm not going to put my precious glove in the frickin' oven!
–Queens
Guy: I'm just saying, he doesn't dress like a bro.
–Astor Place
Irate girl wearing too much lipstick: That band really doesn't do him justice… I mean, I don't think he should have to wear a unitard. And she really shouldn't wear one, you know?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Wants to see him in unitard
