Bro #1: I mean, smoking weed totally stunted my emotional growth.
Bro #2: I completely know what you mean.
–8th St & Ave C
Overheard by: mona risa
Bro #1: I mean, smoking weed totally stunted my emotional growth.
Bro #2: I completely know what you mean.
–8th St & Ave C
Overheard by: mona risa
Little girl to sister: It has 140 calories in it, that could like… kill you.
–Food Emporium, 68th & Broadway
Blonde girl on phone: Yeah, I need to lose like 30 pounds but the problem is that I got my body used to food.
–224th St & Jamaica Avenue
Teen girl, after being caught with empty beer cans: No! Trust me, it wasn't me. I don't drink beer, it has way too many calories!
–Park Slope
40-something mom to chubby daughter with YMCA gymnastics shirt: Don't eat here, go to CVS! Get some mints… you'll be fine.
–Wendy's At Metropolitan Ave. and Woodhaven Blvd, Queens
Overheard by: D. Scibe
Very old, overweight mother to old less overweight daughter: I need to lose 20 pounds, but you, you need to lose 40 pounds. When you're as skinny as her (points at woman working at register), then I'll buy you carrot cake!
–168th & Broadway
Overheard by: Alison R.
Women in Morbidly obesity couple walking hand in hand. The woman says "harry, I hate it when we're on separate starvation schedules."
–7th St & First Ave
American tourist on phone: So, I've just been to ground zero and it's like totally overrated; it's just a hole in the ground.
–Central park
Sensitive guy: She's probably the number one cause of post-traumatic stress syndrome since 9/11!
–Restaurant, 46th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: TheGreenCat
Man, looking out window: Looks like they are building something.
–WTC Path Station
Tourist: That building is really tall, I think it's the World Crade Center!
–Brooklyn Bridge
Cheerful tourist dad taking photo of tourist family: Smile and say 9/11!
–Battery Park
Overheard by: CJW
Dude #1: It's pretty easy to tell when he's depressed.
Dude #2: Oh, of course. He starts crying and doing push ups.
–W 4th St & 6th Ave
Man #1, in chaise lounge: Men and women have totally different criteria for attractiveness.
Man #2, also in chaise lounge: How so?
Man #1: A guy can look like a fucking bullfrog in a Beatle wig, but if he's charming and especially if he has money, women will be all over him.
Man #2: Yeah, especially if he has money.
Man #1: But let's say a really hot chick walked past us right now in a thong, and another woman says to us, “watch out for her, she's been in and out of mental institutions.”
Man #2: We'd still want to fuck her.
Man #1: Exactly.
Man #2: Point well taken.
–Douglaston, Queens
Overheard by: Big Larry
Crazy ranting black guy: My divinity is hot… my arrows can block the clouds. I wanna be the Imperial Leader for all time. My lizards will rule everyone. If y'all do what I say, things'll be fine.
Annoyed black lady, as he continues ranting: Whatever they gave him, it was too much. Oh my god! Why we gotta deal with this shit? Economic crisis and all, and still gotta deal with crazy people!
Crazy ranting black guy: Son, I open doors. Try to clap your heels three times and open doors like me–you can't do it! In prison, in the hood…
Annoyed black lady, now yelling: Why pick a train? Why not go to the hood like you say? Go to wherever you started that shit and deal. You need a therapist for real!
–A Train
Overheard by: Tigertail
Young girl: See, I was right! And you said I was stupid.
Young boy: No, I didn't. I said you had a problem, and that ain't changed.
–Central Park West
Headline by: Lusus Naturae
Runners-Up:
· “Fortunately, Most Young Girls Are Stupid, Otherwise Young Boys Wouldn’t Ever Get Laid” – Young, Dumb, & Full Of …
· “Testfiy, Brother, Testify!” – Jakal
· “The Education System Is the Problem, Stupidity Is the Outcome” – Teacher’s Spouse
· “Yep, It’s Infected” – benji
Long haired guy: Jung would say I have a very low sensate rating.
Meathead: What? So you're retarded?
–Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Girl: I feel like she's really good at illegal stuff.
–34th & 9th
Overheard by: hellothere
Haggard-looking woman, screaming into cell: What? Now you're gettin' locked up and I am going to fucking prison now! Perfect! (sprints out of store)
–King Kullen, Staten Island
Preteen to another: So when you get arrested and your mom asks you where you were, you weren't with me.
–1st Ave & 16th
Overheard by: Wes Mantooth
Female teen to another: Yeah, that's what my dad got arrested for, too.
–Central Park
Teen boy on cell: I get a lot of shit from authority figures. Especially when I'm getting arrested.
–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Overheard by: The Man(dy)
Young boy #1: But I can't hold it in!
Young boy #2: Just wait until we get to Grand Central.
Young boy #1: I can't, though. I got therapy. I'm into hitting people.
Young boy #2: And masturbating?
Young boy #1: Oh, yeah, masturbating. A lot.
Young boy #2: Man, therapy is the place to be!
–6 Train
Overheard by: pomy
Headline by: Roseknows
Runners-Up:
· “Every Session Has a Happy Ending!” – Derek
· “If Only I Had Issues..” – Moogley
· “It’s the Best Place To, You Know, Let It All Out” – Lukas
· “Sometimes You Just Gotta Pound Something!” – Therapy
· “The Doctor Says the Final Treatment Is Something Called “Donkey Punching”” – Sodajerk
