Dude #1: It's pretty easy to tell when he's depressed.
Dude #2: Oh, of course. He starts crying and doing push ups.
–W 4th St & 6th Ave
Dude #1: It's pretty easy to tell when he's depressed.
Dude #2: Oh, of course. He starts crying and doing push ups.
–W 4th St & 6th Ave
Man #1, in chaise lounge: Men and women have totally different criteria for attractiveness.
Man #2, also in chaise lounge: How so?
Man #1: A guy can look like a fucking bullfrog in a Beatle wig, but if he's charming and especially if he has money, women will be all over him.
Man #2: Yeah, especially if he has money.
Man #1: But let's say a really hot chick walked past us right now in a thong, and another woman says to us, “watch out for her, she's been in and out of mental institutions.”
Man #2: We'd still want to fuck her.
Man #1: Exactly.
Man #2: Point well taken.
–Douglaston, Queens
Overheard by: Big Larry
Crazy ranting black guy: My divinity is hot… my arrows can block the clouds. I wanna be the Imperial Leader for all time. My lizards will rule everyone. If y'all do what I say, things'll be fine.
Annoyed black lady, as he continues ranting: Whatever they gave him, it was too much. Oh my god! Why we gotta deal with this shit? Economic crisis and all, and still gotta deal with crazy people!
Crazy ranting black guy: Son, I open doors. Try to clap your heels three times and open doors like me–you can't do it! In prison, in the hood…
Annoyed black lady, now yelling: Why pick a train? Why not go to the hood like you say? Go to wherever you started that shit and deal. You need a therapist for real!
–A Train
Overheard by: Tigertail
Young girl: See, I was right! And you said I was stupid.
Young boy: No, I didn't. I said you had a problem, and that ain't changed.
–Central Park West
Headline by: Lusus Naturae
Runners-Up:
· “Fortunately, Most Young Girls Are Stupid, Otherwise Young Boys Wouldn’t Ever Get Laid” – Young, Dumb, & Full Of …
· “Testfiy, Brother, Testify!” – Jakal
· “The Education System Is the Problem, Stupidity Is the Outcome” – Teacher’s Spouse
· “Yep, It’s Infected” – benji
Long haired guy: Jung would say I have a very low sensate rating.
Meathead: What? So you're retarded?
–Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Girl: I feel like she's really good at illegal stuff.
–34th & 9th
Overheard by: hellothere
Haggard-looking woman, screaming into cell: What? Now you're gettin' locked up and I am going to fucking prison now! Perfect! (sprints out of store)
–King Kullen, Staten Island
Preteen to another: So when you get arrested and your mom asks you where you were, you weren't with me.
–1st Ave & 16th
Overheard by: Wes Mantooth
Female teen to another: Yeah, that's what my dad got arrested for, too.
–Central Park
Teen boy on cell: I get a lot of shit from authority figures. Especially when I'm getting arrested.
–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Overheard by: The Man(dy)
Young boy #1: But I can't hold it in!
Young boy #2: Just wait until we get to Grand Central.
Young boy #1: I can't, though. I got therapy. I'm into hitting people.
Young boy #2: And masturbating?
Young boy #1: Oh, yeah, masturbating. A lot.
Young boy #2: Man, therapy is the place to be!
–6 Train
Overheard by: pomy
Headline by: Roseknows
Runners-Up:
· “Every Session Has a Happy Ending!” – Derek
· “If Only I Had Issues..” – Moogley
· “It’s the Best Place To, You Know, Let It All Out” – Lukas
· “Sometimes You Just Gotta Pound Something!” – Therapy
· “The Doctor Says the Final Treatment Is Something Called “Donkey Punching”” – Sodajerk
Small blonde woman, pointing at pink enamel elephant pin for sale: That's cute.
Shopping companion: Yeah, do we know any Republicans with either breast cancer or the DTS?
–Housing Works, Hudson & 10th St
High school girl: She banged some dude with no condom during her period, then she blew another guy after the basketball game.
–Panera, Queens
Overheard by: NBG1
Teen: My health teacher always yells at me for being late. Shouldn't she be, like, sustaining my self-esteem?
–Green Apple Cafe
Overheard by: Julie
Hippie teenager leaving bathroom: When I see you all later, I will not have any idea who the hell you are!
–Nokia Theater, Times Square
Overheard by: dan
Teenage girl to cute guy, after spitting on door window: I have a bad habit of spittin'.
–E Train
Overheard by: MrsBall
Teenager to crying little brother: Shut up! Stop it or I'll take away your ShamWow!
–Times Square
Overheard by: JYC
Teenage boy on cell: I won't cock-block! (pause) I won't cock-block!
–E 77th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Steve G
Girl to friend: Yeah, so before I came in here I wasn't a vegetarian, but now my expectations have changed.
–New Williamsburg Cafe
Overheard by: Nick Ace
Jenny*: When I say that I'm a vegan, the other Jenny, the little Texan Jenny inside of me goes, "you are so disgusting!"
–Tisch School of the Arts
Overheard by: Southern Carnivore
White flyer lady, singing: Peeeeople! Veeeegans have bet-ter-sex, bet-ter-health, and live decades longer to enjoy it all!
–LaSalle & Broadway
Wannabe vegan on cell: Is applesauce vegan?
–Denny's
Guy: You know how vegetarians say they won't eat anything with a face? So what about that woman that got attacked by the chimp? Would they eat her? (stunned silence) Too soon?
–Steinway & Broadway, Astoria
Overheard by: Go Rangers!
