Short girl: I just don't like the winter, it's so depressing.
Suit #1: I know. And I have scratches all over my body.
Suit #2: How did that happen?
Suit #1: I'm not sure, but…
Short girl: Maybe you have scabies!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: The WC
Short girl: I just don't like the winter, it's so depressing.
Suit #1: I know. And I have scratches all over my body.
Suit #2: How did that happen?
Suit #1: I'm not sure, but…
Short girl: Maybe you have scabies!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: The WC
Girl #1, giggling while watching pictures on iPhone: Wait, this is a toilet bowl!
Girl #2: Yeah, isn't it cute?
Girl #1: But it's a toilet bowl!
Girl #2: I know that, and I thought it was really cute!
Girl #1: You have issues.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Bimbette: So my cat jumps into my bed last night, like he always does, and he snuggles up next to me and all that, and as I'm petting him, I think, “I know he loves me 'cause I take care of him and everything… but does he also think I'm pretty?” You know?
Friend: (silence)
Bimbette: I really hope he thinks I'm pretty. I mean, like, compared to the other humans he's met. Right?
Friend: You are a) a total narcissist; b) totally creepy; or c) both. I'm leaning towards c).
–Starbucks, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Unfortunately, he's just using you for food.
Man on cell: I need attractive girls with low self-esteem so I can tell them that I understand and then do horrible things to them. This is basic science.
–40th & 8th
Overheard by: 13Atlantic
Irate Wall Street guy standing in deli: Everything! Everything! I said "everything bagel," you fucking waste of life. (to other customers in line) He always does that!
–Beaver & William
Boy, watching Hannah Montana on screen: unless she's hanging from a rope, I can't be bothered.
–AMC 7, East Village
Overheard by: agreed
Female in red coat: It's, like, the Holocaust–get over it! I didn't even care about it when it first happened.
–Bobst Lobby, NYU
Overheard by: wow.
Burly guy in cafe: Mind mapping's not a game. It's a reality.
–Ave A & 11th St
Overheard by: Anna P.
Cop to another: Some people play checkers, some people play chess. You, son, you play checkers.
–New Street & Beaver
Black librarian with dreads: In the game, you gotta give the black girl all your stuff, all your valuable stuff. You give it to her to hold and then you take it from her. That's how you get the trophy.
–Bronx Library
Drunk guy in the cafe car: Listen! Just because I'm white doesn't mean I can't play dominoes!
–Acela Train
Overheard by: Someone who can't play dominoes
Girl #1: I cant believe you made out with him!
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: He's not even your type!
Girl #2: What do you mean? He's exactly my type!
Girl #1, exasperated: He has Asperger's!
Girl #2, matter of factly: Exactly!
–Union Square
Employee: They tryin' to tell me I'm bipolar. I ain't bipolar; I just a overprotective parent.
–Chock Full o' Nuts, W 86th St
Overheard by: Emily B.
Calm woman: The thing about being a therapist is that, well, you're just a band-aid.
–W 3rd St
Dude, introducing himself: So, uh, my therapist thinks I'm ready to start dating again.
–F Train
Overheard by: Jenny
Eight-year-old with older man to cashier: He's not my father, he's my therapist.
–Deli, Upper West Side
Bro #1: I mean, smoking weed totally stunted my emotional growth.
Bro #2: I completely know what you mean.
–8th St & Ave C
Overheard by: mona risa
Little girl to sister: It has 140 calories in it, that could like… kill you.
–Food Emporium, 68th & Broadway
Blonde girl on phone: Yeah, I need to lose like 30 pounds but the problem is that I got my body used to food.
–224th St & Jamaica Avenue
Teen girl, after being caught with empty beer cans: No! Trust me, it wasn't me. I don't drink beer, it has way too many calories!
–Park Slope
40-something mom to chubby daughter with YMCA gymnastics shirt: Don't eat here, go to CVS! Get some mints… you'll be fine.
–Wendy's At Metropolitan Ave. and Woodhaven Blvd, Queens
Overheard by: D. Scibe
Very old, overweight mother to old less overweight daughter: I need to lose 20 pounds, but you, you need to lose 40 pounds. When you're as skinny as her (points at woman working at register), then I'll buy you carrot cake!
–168th & Broadway
Overheard by: Alison R.
Women in Morbidly obesity couple walking hand in hand. The woman says "harry, I hate it when we're on separate starvation schedules."
–7th St & First Ave
American tourist on phone: So, I've just been to ground zero and it's like totally overrated; it's just a hole in the ground.
–Central park
Sensitive guy: She's probably the number one cause of post-traumatic stress syndrome since 9/11!
–Restaurant, 46th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: TheGreenCat
Man, looking out window: Looks like they are building something.
–WTC Path Station
Tourist: That building is really tall, I think it's the World Crade Center!
–Brooklyn Bridge
Cheerful tourist dad taking photo of tourist family: Smile and say 9/11!
–Battery Park
Overheard by: CJW
