Professor, describing a picture of the Calendario Azteca: It's not actually a calendar, but a depiction of Aztec cosmology and creation.
Student: Is it accurate?
–Columbia University
Professor, describing a picture of the Calendario Azteca: It's not actually a calendar, but a depiction of Aztec cosmology and creation.
Student: Is it accurate?
–Columbia University
Little boy watching fireworks: Ew! You farted!
Little girl watching fireworks: No I didn't!
Little boy watching fireworks: Then what was that sound coming from your butt?
–Hudson River Park & 24th St
Overheard by: Eric Schneider
(in front of the steps of The Metropolitan Museum of Art)
Tourist: Excuse me, do you know where The Met is?
Pissed off local woman: Walk seven blocks that way, take a left and walk four blocks.
(tourist walks away)
Pissed off local woman to friend: The next time someone asks me that, I’m giving them directions to the Bronx.
–82nd & 5th
Overheard by: olivia
Hipster on cell: So, are you gonna pee on the subway or hold it?
Future subway peeer: (inaudible response)
Hipster on cell: Yeah, dude, I do it all the time. Just do your thing in the corner, open the side door, an' let it slosh out when you're movin' between stations. Dude, even women do it. Totally a-okay!
–67th St & Columbus
Overheard by: kjirsten johnson
White trash woman to angry boyfriend: Stop! I'm in my car and I love myself! I love myself! Fuck you if you don't love yourself! Tyra says to love yourself, and I love myself!
–49th & 11th
Conductor: Passengers, as you all know the New Haven line is known as the Love Line, because of our red colors and red schedules. For Valentine's Day why not buy a loved one a ticket? Nothing says "I love you" like a Metro North ticket! Imagine the look on your mother-in-law's face when she opens up her present to find a one way trip to Manhattan!
–Metro North Train
Sorority girl: And this is a list of all the girls who love Jell-o.
–St. John's University
Overheard by: Peter G
Guy on Bluetooth: What did I say? I said I love you and you didn't fucking say anything back. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?
–Jackson Heights
Excited black guy to friend: Damn! I think I'm in love, she's like the whole package! She's pretty, she's fuckable, and she can cook!
–A Train
Overheard by: Tim
Little boy leaving the church: Bye, Jesus! I love you!
–Riverside Church
Overheard by: Stephanie
Cop holding machine gun: Where you from?
Tourist: England.
Cop (in terrible British accent): Smashing! Brilliant!
Tourist: Um… Yeah.
–City Hall
Hungover girl #1: I can't believe how wasted we got last night.
Hungover girl #2: I know, I feel like shit. It's a nice day though.
Random neighbor: Oh… look! It's the two drunk girls that cursed me out last night.
Random neighbor's girlfriend: What did you do?
–Upper East Side
Guy #1: I have a moral dilemma.
Guy #2: Does it involve alcohol?
Guy #1: No.
Guy #2: Does it require alcohol?
–F Train
Overheard by: Sarah
Hip student #1: How's Libby?
Hip student #2: She's good. We're getting along really great. We eat dinner together every night. She's really smart and she's so pretty. The only problem is…
Hip student #1: The only problem is what?
Hip student #2: I think I might be allergic to her fur.
–Columbia Campus, Morningside Heights
Overheard by: some girl
Preteen girl #1, seeing friend take out glasses case: Oh my god, you wear glasses?
Preteen girl #2: Yeah, I have really bad foresight.
–Columbus Cricle
