Elderly woman to elderly man, as a young girl narrowly escapes getting hit by a car: Oh my god, what is it with these crazy people!? I hate this city more and more each day.
Elderly man: Well then, why do you live here?
Elderly woman: Because I love it.
–83rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Dee Dee
German lady, to no one in particular: You know, I vunder. I tink dat de only persons in USA who vatch Two and One-Half Men are from, like, Alabama. Or Nebraska. Someplace not in a city.
Student-type guy: Oh yeah?
German lady: Oh yes, for sure. I vould be shocked if anyvone on this train watches that show. Charlie Sheen is shit.
Student-type guy: Whatever. Just don't watch it.
German lady: No, I do not vatch this. I don't have cable. I hate Charlie Sheen.
Student-type guy: No cable? How do you know anything about the show then? How do you know anything about anything?
German lady: Oh, I know lots of things.
Student-type guy: Who is the President of the United States?
German lady: (silent)
Student-type guy: Are you fucking kidding me? You don't know who the President of the United States is and you're talking about fucking Charlie Sheen? Get the fuck off this train! …and your hat is stupid!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Dice To That
PETA representative: Excuse me, ma'am, do you have a minute for animal rights?
NYU JAP: I'm wearing leather boots. Do I look like I give a shit about animal rights?
Panhandler: (applauds)
NYU JAP: (gives panhandler a quarter)
–8th & University
Overheard by: byron
Old woman with husband, reminiscing: When I was younger I had an art degree from Cooper Union, had a fantastic graphic design job. I had a great career going for myself. And then guess what happened.
20-something girl: You got married?
Old woman, shocked: No! How old do you think I am? That we're from the 1800s? (pause) Computers. That's what happened.
–Times Square
Overheard by: RCS
Black person #1: Did you see Obama's speech last night?
Black person #2: No, what did he say?
Black person #1: Someone asked if he knows how much debt he is putting us in, and he says “Listen, I'm not the motherfucker that got us here.”
(they high five)
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Falafel vendor: What're you, in a bad mood?
Customer: No, I'm in a good mood. I'm always in a good mood. I'm just ugly.
–168th & Ft. Washington
Ditzy blonde #1: How was your night?
Ditzy blonde #2: It was good. I just saw a guy's face catch on fire!
Ditzy blonde #1: Ohhhh!
Ditzy blonde #2: It was crazy cuz I had just, like, used that same lighter and then it like, burnt his eyebrows off.
Ditzy blonde #1: Ohhhh!
Ditzy blonde #2: That's the third person I saw get burned in the face this week!
Ditzy blonde #1: Ohhhh, no!.
(silence as they eat pizza for a minute)
Ditzy blonde #2: Speaking of which, do you know who else was burned in the face?
–6th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Ashley
Tween #1: Susan Sarandon…why do I know that name?
Tween #2: Wasn't she on Step by Step?
Tween #1: Oh my god, I loved that show!
–The Barrymore Theatre, where Susan Sarandon Stars in Exit The King
Starbucks employee: Sir, what is your name, so we can help you?
Man lying on floor: Well, my first name is Neil, like Neil Sedaka, but I'm not him. My last name is Bolton, like Michael Bolton, but I'm also not him. My name is Neil Bolton.
–Starbucks, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Stina
Friend #1: So, you know his cousin? He's a strategic navigator in the Navy.
Friend #2: Yeah?
Friend #1: So, he's really good at connect four!
–Brooklyn Museum Subway Station
