Baby, You Can Drive My Wednesday One-Liner

Teenage girl to friends: How many babies can you squish into an oversized Ferrari?

–W 77th & Central Park West

Overheard by: Teddy Nicholas

Bartender: Can you imagine living somewhere where you actually have to drive home after work?

–Vintage Restaurant, Hell's Kitchen

Overheard by: GretaGarbo86

Dude eating lunch with friends: Man, I hate to say it, but I love driving drunk.

–Restaurant, Bleecker & Lafayette

Gay black man to another: First of all, that fender bender you had a block away from your house was not a car accident. My three-car-pile-up was a car accident!

–A Train

Six-year-old to mom: What? An actual person who drinks and drives and she's famous? She's been in movies and she drinks and drives?! What is happening to this world?

–13th St & 5th Ave

Random wannabe thug: Yo, we seen a NYPD car get hit by a harpoon!

–Montgoris Dining Hall, St. John's University

Overheard by: Craig

Posted on March 25, 2009
Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Bartenders, Black People, Cars and Driving, College, Compare/Contrast, Cops, Drinking & Drunk People, Gangstas, Girls, Guys, Home, Sweet Home, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Movies, On the Subway, One-liners, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, Teens, The Village, Thugs, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners for “White Harlem”

Columbia freshman: Mwahaha…I love contextual references.

–Butler Library, Columbia University

Overheard by: not studying…

Guy to friends: God, why doesn't Columbia have a freakin' umbrella over it?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: dripping wet

Columbia student to another: I didn't mean to get drunk last night, but I stopped by a liquor store on the way home.

–Columbia University

Columbia student to friend: Do you want to go frolic in Westside Market?

–110th & Broadway

Female Columbia student to male Columbia student, smacking him with foam covered bat: Sometimes I feel like we belong in a state school.

–Columbia Dorm

Posted on March 25, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Drinking & Drunk People, Education, Friends, Guys, Laughter, Library, One-liners, Questions, School and studying, Shopping, Students, Weather, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Words

Virgins in Utah Have Had the Clap

Guy #1: Bro, you're like a walking STD.
Guy #2: Dude, the clap doesn't count. Who hasn't had the clap?

–The Ginger Man

Overheard by: John

Posted on March 24, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Guys, Questions, STDs

Melissa? Iiiiiinteresting.

EMT #1, to vomiting wino: What's your name?
Wino: Dennis.
EMT #1: Dennis? Okay, Dennis, we're gonna…
Wino: (unintelligible muttering)
EMT #1: What?
Wino: (unintelligible muttering)
EMT #2: Well, what's your name when you're not drunk?

–Broadway & Astor Place

Overheard by: Rachel Silver

Posted on March 24, 2009
Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, EMTs, Names, Questions, Street, The Village, Weirdness

The Who Boys?

Young black woman #1: So I had to go to concerts and promote other concerts.
Young black woman #2: What concerts?
Young black woman #1: People you never heard of. Brian Wilson. He used to be with The Beach Boys.

–A Train

Posted on March 23, 2009
Black People, Movies, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity, Women

That Red Ribbon on Her Collar Is Just Style

Woman #1 (after long phone conversation): Oh, I love that woman.
Woman #2: So no Aids?
Woman #1 (after pause): No, of course my cat doesn't have Aids, how could she have Aids?
Woman #2: No, of course she's just a stressed out cat!

–Mamouns

Posted on March 23, 2009
AIDS, Gay Man's Best Friend, Love, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Women

Oh “Bush” Puns, We'll Miss You Most Of All.

Guy: So I was talking to this hot girl the other day, but then she told me she liked Bush.
Girl: Oh…she's a lesbian?
Guy: No! Bush!
Girl: Oh, the band.
Guy: No, Bush! She's a Republican!
Girl: Wait. What?!

–Times Square

Overheard by: J.E.

Posted on March 23, 2009
Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Music, President, Questions, Times Square, Vagina

Write That Down.

Guy #1, studying for biology: Bread makes you shit.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: Because it's bread.
Guy #2: Genius.

–NYU Palladium

Overheard by: Zacharia

Posted on March 23, 2009
Food, NYU, Poop, Questions, Science, Students

I Told the Real Estate Agent Blue Was My Signature Color

Student: It's gonna be Halloween, aren't you worried about the Bloods' initiation?
Teacher: Nah. I'm good, my neighborhood's Crips.

–Brooklyn Public School

Overheard by: trinity

Posted on March 22, 2009
Brooklyn, Celebrations/Parties, Questions, School, Students, Teachers/Professors, Violence

Then You Can Guess Which One By the Stains on the Carpet!

Guy #1: You're going to class? This'll be great, I'll get to make lunch and then I'll masturbate!
Guy #2: Dude, I'm gonna be here till one.
Guy #1: Well…one, then.

–NYU Palladium

Overheard by: Zacharia

Posted on March 22, 2009
Food, Guys, Masturbation, NYU, Questions, School and studying, Time

Questions