If You've Got Wednesday One-Liners, Flaunt 'Em!

Hispanic girl on phone: I'm in the Heights, looking at clothes…of course they're slutty, that's all we wear.

–St Nicholas Ave b/w 181 & 182 St

Overheard by: Linda Rhodes

Friend to scantily clad girl adjusting extremely low-cut shirt: Why are you even wearing a shirt?

–NYU

Flamboyant black man: Girl, I can see yo' pussy, yo' pants are too tight!

–14th St

Blonde: I'm just going to put a thong and a mini skirt on him, and he'll entertain us.

–Broadway & 34th St, Astoria

Overheard by: Natalie

Freshman NYU student during welcome week: I can't wait to get some slutty clothes…so I can fit in.

–Outside NYU's Kimmel Center

Posted on March 25, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Biotechs, Black People, Clothing, Friends, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Height, Latinos, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Physical appearance, Questions, Sorority Girls, Street, Students, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners

Wednesday One-Liners Are a Real Steal

Street vendor, yelling: Anyone need coach purses? Anyone need stolen shit?

–Times Square

Overheard by: Sarah and Andrew

Black guy holding purses: Yo! Who wants to buy some stolen shit? I got some nice stolen shit over here.

–Times Square

Overheard by: A Little Too Intrigued

Man selling bootleg designer bags: Anyone want some stolen shit?

–45th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Claire

Yelling man peddling counterfeit purses: Get your stolen shit! Everyone needs some stolen shit! It's stolen in New York, so it still counts as being from New York!

–Time Square

Thug holding handbags: Who want some stolen shit? I'm not gonna lie in 2009. I got Dolce & Gabanna and Louis Vuitton. Who want some stolen shit?

–Times Square

Posted on March 25, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Guys, Knock-Offs, Lies, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, One-liners, Only in New York, Questions, Street, Thievery, Thugs, Times Square, Vendors & Street Performers, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Wish They Could Marry Themselves

20-something, beating his chest and coughing: John, don't die…you're too young, you're too beautiful, the world needs you to stay alive!

–55th & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Jesus Jon

Girl on phone: I just don't see why he doesn't want to do me.

–NYU

Lab assistant on phone: I mean, I love the way I look. And they way I talk…well, that's fine. But that laugh? Dear god.

–NYU Computer Lab

Overheard by: meli$$a

Man on cell: So that's it? You're genetically superior to her, case closed?

–5th Ave & 16th St

Overheard by: Prof. Creepyhugz

Tall black guy to shorter, buff black guy: It's not about your looks or the way you're built: you've got charisma, you've got something that draws people to you. I know because I've got it too.

–Planet Sushi, Amsterdam Ave

Overheard by: Suze V

Female student, walking in: Okay! The princess is back and she feels ten pounds lighter!

–Borough Manhattan Community College Computer Lab

Overheard by: Steve

Posted on March 25, 2009
9 to 5-ers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Always Bringing it Back to You!, Beauty, Black People, College, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Death, Diet/Weight, Girls, Guys, Laughter, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Physical appearance, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Science, Sex, Street, Students, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Baby, You Can Drive My Wednesday One-Liner

Teenage girl to friends: How many babies can you squish into an oversized Ferrari?

–W 77th & Central Park West

Overheard by: Teddy Nicholas

Bartender: Can you imagine living somewhere where you actually have to drive home after work?

–Vintage Restaurant, Hell's Kitchen

Overheard by: GretaGarbo86

Dude eating lunch with friends: Man, I hate to say it, but I love driving drunk.

–Restaurant, Bleecker & Lafayette

Gay black man to another: First of all, that fender bender you had a block away from your house was not a car accident. My three-car-pile-up was a car accident!

–A Train

Six-year-old to mom: What? An actual person who drinks and drives and she's famous? She's been in movies and she drinks and drives?! What is happening to this world?

–13th St & 5th Ave

Random wannabe thug: Yo, we seen a NYPD car get hit by a harpoon!

–Montgoris Dining Hall, St. John's University

Overheard by: Craig

Posted on March 25, 2009
Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Bartenders, Black People, Cars and Driving, College, Compare/Contrast, Cops, Drinking & Drunk People, Gangstas, Girls, Guys, Home, Sweet Home, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Movies, On the Subway, One-liners, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, Teens, The Village, Thugs, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners for “White Harlem”

Columbia freshman: Mwahaha…I love contextual references.

–Butler Library, Columbia University

Overheard by: not studying…

Guy to friends: God, why doesn't Columbia have a freakin' umbrella over it?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: dripping wet

Columbia student to another: I didn't mean to get drunk last night, but I stopped by a liquor store on the way home.

–Columbia University

Columbia student to friend: Do you want to go frolic in Westside Market?

–110th & Broadway

Female Columbia student to male Columbia student, smacking him with foam covered bat: Sometimes I feel like we belong in a state school.

–Columbia Dorm

Posted on March 25, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Drinking & Drunk People, Education, Friends, Guys, Laughter, Library, One-liners, Questions, School and studying, Shopping, Students, Weather, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Words

Virgins in Utah Have Had the Clap

Guy #1: Bro, you're like a walking STD.
Guy #2: Dude, the clap doesn't count. Who hasn't had the clap?

–The Ginger Man

Overheard by: John

Posted on March 24, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Guys, Questions, STDs

Melissa? Iiiiiinteresting.

EMT #1, to vomiting wino: What's your name?
Wino: Dennis.
EMT #1: Dennis? Okay, Dennis, we're gonna…
Wino: (unintelligible muttering)
EMT #1: What?
Wino: (unintelligible muttering)
EMT #2: Well, what's your name when you're not drunk?

–Broadway & Astor Place

Overheard by: Rachel Silver

Posted on March 24, 2009
Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, EMTs, Names, Questions, Street, The Village, Weirdness

The Who Boys?

Young black woman #1: So I had to go to concerts and promote other concerts.
Young black woman #2: What concerts?
Young black woman #1: People you never heard of. Brian Wilson. He used to be with The Beach Boys.

–A Train

Posted on March 23, 2009
Black People, Movies, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity, Women

That Red Ribbon on Her Collar Is Just Style

Woman #1 (after long phone conversation): Oh, I love that woman.
Woman #2: So no Aids?
Woman #1 (after pause): No, of course my cat doesn't have Aids, how could she have Aids?
Woman #2: No, of course she's just a stressed out cat!

–Mamouns

Posted on March 23, 2009
AIDS, Gay Man's Best Friend, Love, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Women

Oh “Bush” Puns, We'll Miss You Most Of All.

Guy: So I was talking to this hot girl the other day, but then she told me she liked Bush.
Girl: Oh…she's a lesbian?
Guy: No! Bush!
Girl: Oh, the band.
Guy: No, Bush! She's a Republican!
Girl: Wait. What?!

–Times Square

Overheard by: J.E.

Posted on March 23, 2009
Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Music, President, Questions, Times Square, Vagina

Questions