Bored-sounding blond student: Hey, I like your sandals.
Bored-sounding brunette student: Hey, thanks. I like yours, too.
(long pause)
Bored-sounding blond student: I think we have the same sandals.
Bored-sounding brunette student: Yeah.
–Elevator, FIT
British chick: I love my sneakers! They are designed to tone my calves.
American friend: Your sneakers are like the Twighlight vampires, lame and sparkly.
British chick: Yeah, but I'm gonna have the best calf muscles!
American friend: Okay!
–AMC Loews Kips Bay Theatre Movie
Instructor: Those people outside are crazy, wearing big ol' leather boots in this kind of heat!
Student: Maybe they're from Texas?
Instructor: Nah, they looked pretty American to me.
–Beauty School, 35th & 8th
Overheard by: Bean
Hipster girl to friend: I told her it was the wrong kind of plaid. Not all flannels are equal.
–Bowery & Bleecker
Overheard by: but lumberjacks are supposed to be burly men!
Hipster to another: And I was like "Do you want some nail polish for that camel toe?"
–2nd Ave
Overheard by: Shan
Hipster guy singing to self in country twang: Whennnn am I gonna get me sommmme Ugg boooooots?
–4th Ave & 13th St
Hipster guy in eyeliner and mascara: I was being facetious… I would not wear leggings.
–Jamba Juice, 13th St & University
Overheard by: helenathegreat
Hipster girl screaming on cell: I want you to want me to want to touch you!
–Columbus Circle
Drunk guy: I summon all the single ladies to my personal sleeping quarters. Somebody come up here and kiss me! I'm an outstanding kisser and an excellent swing dancer! Girls, boys, hermaphrodites, I don't care!
Drunk guy's friend: If you think this is bad, you should've seen him at the Billy Joel concert… He peed on my foot.
Drunk guy: Only because you were wearing sandals!
–Citi Field Stadium
Seven-year-old boy, turning to gaze at young woman's two-tone pumps: I want them shoes, man!
Mother, pulling him by the hand: Come along, Jake.
–Crotona Ave & Fordham Rd
Overheard by: Eternal Student
Girl to boy: You're just upset that I kicked you out without shoes, and I didn't give you cab fare.
–Black Bear Lodge, 3rd Ave
Guy, after cab splashed water on him: That cab just jizzed on me!
–Broadway & Eagerly
Waspy queer on cell: No, no, take the subway. Just for the experience. Don't take a cab. Cabs are for spoiled people.
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl, yelling into window of off-duty taxi: Fine! We're waiting for the cash cab anyway!
–3rd & Sullivan
Overheard by: Heather
Colleague #1: There is a girl in India with four legs.
Colleague #2: She'll be happy. She'll be able to wear more shoes.
Colleague #1: She can run fast.
–Office, Manhattan
Tourist girl: We still have to make it to Williamsburg! When are we gonna do that?
Tourist guy: Why? What's in Williamsburg?
Tourist girl: Shoes… For one.
–2nd Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: Rubie
20-something girl in chucks to another: No, I will not get rubber boots. What do I look like, fucking Paddington Bear?
–CVS
Boy: I bet if I had three of me I could take on a grizzly bear.
–Columbia
Overheard by: Megan
Small, well-dressed girl: I want to eat the heart of a bear!
–Bohemian Hall, Astoria
Overheard by: Joseph
Guy on cell: You don't even know what the Care Bears are about!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Fresca P.
