Girl #1: Let’s go to a karaoke bar!
Girl #2: Are you shitting me? My voice sounds like a cat being anally raped!
–East 6th, between 1st Ave and Ave A
Girl #1: Let’s go to a karaoke bar!
Girl #2: Are you shitting me? My voice sounds like a cat being anally raped!
–East 6th, between 1st Ave and Ave A
Supermarket stock guy, screaming into cell while loading cheese onto shelves: Yo! What up, punk ass! Call me back punk ass bitch!
[Hangs up cell and breaks into chorus of that “Oh What a Night (December ’63)” song.]100-year-old male shopper: ’63? You’re not even old enough to remember ’63.
Stock guy: Man, I was born in ’60. July 1960.
100-year-old male shopper: Oh, ’60, huh? I served in Korea…
–20th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: LiAps
Hippy hobo: Hey, let’s start a sing along! I got the shaker, man. [Sings] Row, row, row your train, gently down the tube…
–1 train
Conductor: Next stop, Broadway. Transfer to the [sings] A-B-C-D-E-F… V.
–Brooklyn-bound D
Overheard by: Anthony
Guy singing: You’re going to die soon! You’re going to die soon!
–4th & Mercer
Barista singing while taking out the trash: This shit is the garbage! G-A-R-B-A-G-E!
–Starbucks, 8th & University
Overheard by: susan
Singing hobo: Y’all, gimme five dollars so I can get hi– I mean, home. High, home, high, home.
–4 train
Tweaker man weaving and singing: My urethra is burning from an STD. My urethra is burning from an STD. My urethra is fuckin’ burning from an STD.
–38th & 8th
Overheard by: Matt
Boy selling stuff on the train and rapping: Please don’t hate on my situation — gotta take the money from the Caucasian.
–R train
Overheard by: Jenny
Judge: Wow, this girl sounds like the future generation’s Tori Amos.
Philistine in audience: I don’t know who that is, but I disagree.
–NYU talent show, Skirball Center, Washington Square South
Ghetto girl #1: I love guys that can saaang!
Ghetto girl #2: Yeah, me too. They be marinatin’ you. That shit’s mad sexy.
Ghetto girl #1: Marinate? The fuck?! You mean ‘serenate.’ You’s a stupid-ass bitch!
–G train, Clinton-Washington station
Overheard by: all up in your grill
Little girl singing in stall: It’s okay that Mommy is a man, Mommy is a man, Mommy is a man! It’s okay that…
Mom: Brooke! Jesus Christ!
Little girl: Oh, Mommy is a man la la la la la! Can we get tacos?
–Restroom, MoMA
Overheard by: ChaChaCha
Drunk girl: [Singing.]Boyfriend: Can somebody just smack her in the face for me?
–43rd & 3rd
Overheard by: Blaze Boy
Man: I am the piano of humans.
–32nd & Lex
Overheard by: Em
Boss: You don’t want to ruin your crack-high with that harmonica racket.
–1 Madison Ave
Overheard by: KDOTU
Four-year-old holding maracas: These shakers give me speed!
–VFW Hall, Long Island
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Hipster: None of them could play their instruments or sing, and they all kept spitting on each other, but there was free beer so I was there.
–Metropolitan and Union, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Jesse
Six-year-old girl is blowing hard on a clarinet-type toy.
Mom: If you start feeling dizzy, you tell Mommy, okay?
–East Village
Overheard by: jho
Woman eating lunch: …Then they threw my father out of the Communist Party again. This time it was for refusing to play his accordion at parties.
–1300 York Ave
Man on cell: What are you, some sort of reverse vampire?
–C train
Dude: And there were unicorns exploding in the background… or at least doing whatever it is unicorns do.
–Live Bait, 23rd St
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Chick: You kind of look like a vampire in this picture. But a cool vampire! Like, if you were in The Lost Boys, Kiefer Sutherland would totally want to have sex with you.
–55th & 6th
Overheard by: wants to have sex with Kiefer Sutherland
Drunk hobo chuckling: You people look depressed! I know how to cheer you up. I’ll sing my favorite song! ‘Ding, dong, the witch is dead, the witch is dead…’ [Looks around] Hmmm… [Notices the train going express] What the…? I need a new mathematician! I need a new mathematician!
–6 train making express stops on a surprise basis
Overheard by: Barry Negrin
Sax-wielding hobo: I am an alien! From outer space! Not from Mexico!
–L train
Overheard by: Alex P. Keaton
Ricky’s employee: Looks like I’m all out in the fairy department.
–58th & Broadway
Mom: Johnny, put down the sword. Vampires don’t use weapons. Their teeth are their weapons.
–Halloween shop, 8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Girl: You know, when my dad was my age he was singing with a traveling choral group.
Guy: Oh really? I didn’t know that about your dad.
Girl: Yeah, the group performed, like, all over the world!
Guy: Really?
Girl: Well, I mean, like, all over Harlem.
–14th & 8th
