Guy to three cute girls: You’re the best looking gay guys I’ve seen all day!
–Christopher & Bedford
Chick to dude: You could wear a dress if you wanted to.
–Broadway
Abercrombie tot: Wait, you can’t carry a boy dog in a purse. That’s unnatural!
–Penn Station
Tween girl to friends: No, she’s a boy now and she looks gay.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: R
Cute brunette: Who am I, forcing your lovers into a male-female dichotomy? I am terrible!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Woman #1, in clown makeup and garb, being filmed: Do you ever feel you're turning into a fairy?
Woman #2, in similar makeup and trapeze garb: Uh… No, not really. (acts intently interested)
Woman #1: I don't know, I guess… It's like that myth, where the man with the mask… He wears it so often, it becomes his face. (pause) That's me, with my character.
Woman #2: You don't have more than one character?
–Ferryboat, Staten Island
Overheard by: eliza ahern
Girl #1: Has anyone heard from Megan lately?
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: I mean her away message for three days has been, “Break out the turkey basters and gin buckets!”
Girl #3: I’m sure she’s fine.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Ryan Lynch
Middle-aged lady #1: Ewww, she’s not even sexy.
Middle-aged lady #2: Well, she’s engaged, so someone must find her sexy.
Middle-aged man: That’s probably because she has fake boobs.
–Staten Island Ferry terminal
Overheard by: Yvie B
Train conductor: If anyone sees a blue and yellow backpack, please give it to the train conductor. Jason has a test and he needs to study.
–4 Train
Overheard by: heather
Random guy walking into the ferry station: I figured if I took the test high, I'd get high scores.
–Staten Island Ferry Station
Overheard by: mindy
Professor: These pop quizzes are like making love: you don't get any points for speed, you get them for accuracy.
–Psych Class, Hunter College
Overheard by: I completely agree
Undergrad: I don't even want to look at my art history midterm yet, but if I don't know how I did, I'll go crazy! It's like a Catch-66! Anyway, I'm going to head back to my dorm and put on some pants.
–Butler Library, Columbia University
Evangelist, screaming to crowd: Fornication is wrong! It only leads to more sin!
Girl on cell: Should I go tell this evangelist that I'm on my way home to fornicate with my Jewish boyfriend that I'm living in sin with?
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Size 10 policewoman: Ya know, I gotta gain some weight.
Size 14-plus policewoman: Ya can have some o' me, anytime.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Could'a Been A Contender
Bike messenger #1: But we shouldn't write songs about New York bike messengers.
Bike messenger #2: Yeah, yeah, I get ya.
Bike messenger #1: We're not going to get anywhere with an audience of New York bike messengers.
Bike messenger #2: Yeah, yeah, I totally understand.
Bike messenger #1: We should write songs about fucking people… People who… People who aren't fucking paying attention to what's going on around them.
Bike messenger #2: Yeah, yeah, I totally get that.
–Staten Island Ferry
Delivery truck man #1: You know what's great at that Chinese spot?
Delivery truck man #2: What?
Delivery truck man #1: Their pork dumplings.
Delivery truck man #2: I'll tell you what.
Delivery truck man #1: What?
Delivery truck man #2: That's definitely not kosher.
(they laugh)
Delivery truck man #1: But wait if I take it to a rabbi to bless, can it become kosher?
Delivery truck man #2: Good question.
Delivery truck man #1: Yeah… Wow! We are on the right side of the ferry, remember when the right side was for only cokeheads and weedheads, and your mother would say “don't go on the right side of the ferry” and people used to OD and you would find dead bodies? Those were the days!
–Staten Island Ferry
Mom to friend, as baby makes screeching sounds and bounces around in stroller: I swear I didn't do drugs while I was pregnant with her. But I did have quite a few raspberry martinis before I knew I was knocked up.
–Belmont Park Race Track
20-something woman on phone: I need to slap that bitch. I don't care she pregnant, her face ain't pregnant.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Mike
Ghetto baby momma: And it was like I was giving birth on the toilet!
–Belmont Ave & 188th St
Overheard by: Toomuchinformation
Doctor to patient: You're not pregnant, you just have gas.
–W 204th St
Overheard by: JMS
Little girl on cell: Oh my god, I know! And I'm, like, "that's why you're fucking pregnant"!
–Central Park
