Girl #1: Yo, that girl is nasty. She blew her dog.
Girl #2: No, she didn’t. She and her Mamas had sex with Duquan together.
Girl #1: No! Trick! That wasn’t her. She blew a dog. I saw it.
Girl #2: She blew Noodles?
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Anna May M. Abris
Hipster: I really have to pee.
Random passerby: Pssssss!
–Whitehall Station
Young girl: Mommy, is Canada in Europe?
Sister of young girl: Of course it is, stupid! It's right next to Quebec.
Mom: Uh, no honey, it's in…
Sister of young girl: It's in Europe.
Mom: No, it's in…
Sister of young girl: Europe!
Mom: Fine! Canada is in Europe.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Lydia
British bitch on cell: I’m surrounded by fucking morons who probably struggled through the NYC school system. We all know New Yorkers are the dumbest. They can’t even read. They haven’t had a Latin education and they probably can’t even speak another language…I didn’t want to get a limo to take to the fuckin’ ghettos of Brooklyn. I didn’t want to take a cab because these uneducated people don’t understand directions. I didn’t want to spend $30 and not get to the right place…Please make sure my car gets fixed. I’ve been reduced to the humiliation of taking public transportation. Now the second part of my fucking nightmare begins. I have to take the subway! I’m dressed like a commoner. I didn’t want to wear a $5000 Chanel suit on a seat that hasn’t been cleaned…She’s letting us borrow her castle for our wedding. If they can’t afford to be there, they obviously don’t deserve to come.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Christine
Drunk guy being carried by his friends: Shhhhh…
Friend #1: You can't “shush” New York.
Drunk guy: Who's that?
Friend #2: I don't know, but he's 90 years old and smells like Robert Downey Jr.
Drunk guy: Shhhhh…
–Staten Island Ferry
Man, to old woman pouring paint thinner into the sewer: You know, you’ll kill the alligators like that.
–39th & Lex
Methodone lover: I told him, “If you do that again, I’m gonna sic the alligators on you!”
–Whitehall Ferry Terminal
Overheard by: Steven Lowell
Tourist, kneeling in front of a giant stone head: Help me, Olmec! Where is the shrine of the silver monkey?
–Museum of Natural History
Chelsea boy: Yeah…My God, the boys there were so hot! Their asses were all tight and round…Mmm…like a Chihuahua’s.
–19th & 6th
Overheard by: CocteauBoy
5-Year-Old boy, passing the smelly horse carriages on Central Park South: Eww, are there camels around here?
–59th between Broadway & 7th
Overheard by: Carmiya Weinraub
Old man, passing bear sculpture: Bears eat too much.
–American Wing Cafe, the Met
Overheard by: guingel
MTA hardhat: Yeah, for lunch I’ll have either the rat on a stick or the pigeon on a stick.
–Bleecker & Lafayette
Overheard by: Brewster
Guy on cell: I just saw a pigeon, and it reminded me of you.
–Houston & Bowery
Overheard by: Jon A.
Commuter: Oh, I’ve always been into manatees.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jon
Woman, to child: That’s why imagination is really nice. You can imagine that cat you have always wanted, and it’s almost like having him for real…even though you never will.
–53rd & Broadway
Animal lover: I never used to like cats. But then I had this dream where this cat, like, told me, “I love you,” so I got a cat.
–10th St & 1st Ave
Bus rider: My son’s frog jumped up there, and now I can’t take a poop.
–Q101 bus
Overheard by: Kaleena
Suit: No, no, it’s a woman with a donkey, not two donkeys! Jesus.
–14th St 1 station
Non-Ghetto woman on cell: That’s nigga’s crazier than a road lizard!
–59th & 7th
Picky girl: You won’t believe the pick up line he used. He actually said, “I want to be your beast.”
–The Strand, Broadway
Overheard by: Miss Parker
Woman on phone: I am being nice, but I'm not going to describe to you in great detail what a bug looks like!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: R&L
Man in zoot suit: When I talk, I don't want you bitches saying nothing! I only wanna hear the cockroaches fornicating on the walls!
–F Train
Overheard by: Reagan
Hipster: It was like watching a praying mantis have a seizure.
–16th & 8th
Wasted girl on sidewalk: No, I am so upset, I am so upset, I lost the back of my phone and there is a bug, a bug!
–11th & Broadway
Old lady: She looks pretty much like a roach.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
White guy to black girlfriend: God, I'm so racist.
–Canal St & Elizabeth St
Big black lady: So, have they fired that African guy yet? (laughs hysterically) Nah, you right. Mexicans won't do that shit no more!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: NewHaircut
White woman to black woman: So, tell me about your people. Do you know where they come from?
–Whitehall St & South St
Overheard by: Jon A.
White girl walking in Harlem: Dang, even the squirrels are black here!
–125th & Amsterdam
Tween: Mom, what's Negro Day?
–Neil Simon Theatre
Little blond girl to black mother: You mean we're black?
–Hudson & Barrow
Overheard by: Emily
Unfortunate-looking guy: …and I met this girl there so I'm pretty excited to go back.
Female friend: Is she blind?
Unfortunate-looking guy: No, she's actually a brunette and she's got freckles.
Female friend: No, I asked you if she was blind.
Unfortunate-looking guy: I missed you so much.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Lauren
Dude on cell: She was a size 16 before the baby, but now she’s a 32. She went from Kermit the Frog to Snuffleupagus!…What size are you?
–Staten Island Ferry
