10 Wednesdays I One-Liner About You

Extremely aggressive man, shouting and pointing at woman on cell: Do not! Ever! Refer to me as from fucking Baltimore! I fucking hate Baltimore!

–2nd Ave & 4th St

Female student, anxiously, to male friend: I don't know who they are, but I'm pretty sure I don't like 'em!

–Fordham University

Overheard by: eternal student

Flyer guy: Would you like to see a comedy..? Oh, it's you again! Why do you hate me?

–Times Square

Overheard by: Sara

Hobo to passers-by: Join the He-Man woman haters club! Free membership!

–Park Ave & 31st St

Little boy, pointing with disgust at picture of Jay Leno on hot drink sleeve: Is this George Washington? I hate him!

–Hot'n'Crusty, Upper West Side

Posted on January 13, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Flyer people, Fordham, Free stuff!, Friends, Gripes, History & Geography, Hobos, Idiots, Insults, Kids, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Strangers, Street, Students, Stupidity, Times Square, TV, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

No Married Person Would Have to Ask

Guy: Why didn't you just leave?
Woman: I wanted to wait for you, idiot.
Guy: But I said you could just go.
Woman: Whatever, dick. This is exactly why I didn't want to go.
Guy: This is why I asked you. Why do you always have to be like this?
Woman: Why did you fucking ask me if you knew I wouldn't want to go?
Guy: Because you're my wife, and that's my family. I just always thought that I could bring my wife to a family party.
Random passenger: Are you two really married? Is that really your wife?
Guy: Yes.

–LIRR, Penn Station

Posted on January 12, 2010
Celebrations/Parties, Family Ties, Guys, Marriage, Nicknames & name calling, Penn Station, Questions, Strangers, Train Station, Trains Not Subway, Wishes & desires, Women

Which Is the Only Thing That Makes This Pee Wee Herman Costume Really Work

Drunk guy: First question! Who's having fun on Halloween?
Random guy in black mask: I'm having fun on Halloween!
Drunk guy: Second question! Who wants to see my cock?
(silence)

–N Train

Overheard by: Selina

Posted on January 11, 2010
Celebrations/Parties, Drunks, On the Subway, Penis, Questions, Strangers

In Autumn, Odors Of Feces Overtake the Summer Scents Of Urine

Out-of-town mother: What is that smell? It smells like shit.
Sarcastic daughter: That's New York, mom.
Random black guy: Yeah, how do you like it?

–Lincoln Center

Overheard by: ISmellNY

Posted on January 10, 2010
Black People, Families, Moms, Only in New York, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Strangers, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Smokey Says, “Only You Can Prevent Wednesday One-Liners!”

Guy: So I'm like, "can I get a lighter?" and she pulls out two, and one is literally a penis with the flame coming out the tip, and the other one is a guy doing one of these moves, and the guy's like a tripod. So I'm like, "can I get one in a normal color?"

–Chinatown

African American man describing Indian restaurant to friend: That'll put fire in yo' ass.

–Midtown

Man to stranger: Hey, can I borrow you lighter? I need to go melt something in the bathroom.

–Jamaica Station

Overheard by: Tim

Conductor: Once again, there is nothing on fire! We got it under control. We apologize for the smoke. Next stop is Newark airport. There is nothing on fire.

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Where there's smoke

Posted on January 6, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Black People, Chinatown, Colors, Conductors, Ethnic Food, Fire, Friends, Gadgets, Guys, Hard Drugs, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, One-liners, Passengers, Penis, Poop, Public Transportation, Strangers, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Trains Not Subway, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Preferably During the Chicken Dance

Wedding guest #1, about open bar: Are we at least going to get sick?
Wedding guest #2, with resignation: Probably.

–Battery Gardens Restaurant

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Posted on January 5, 2010
Celebrations/Parties, Drinking & Drunk People, Health and Hygiene, Restaurants & Cafes, Strangers

Dear Readers: Ask Yourself Why You Care.

Guy reading Post over someone's shoulder: David Letterman cheated on his wife with that? Dear god, I thought he'd have better taste.
Women reading paper: That is his wife!

–5 Train

Overheard by: Jesus Jon

Posted on January 4, 2010
About Celebrities, Beauty, Family Ties, Gossip, Infidelity, News, On the Subway, Passengers, Physical appearance, Strangers

That Advil Commercial That Never Made It to TV

Woman to man she just met: I live in Brooklyn, and I'm on my way to see my man in the Bronx. My mother said to me, “must be some kinda love if you travel all the way to the Bronx for a man!”
Man: Uh-huh! That's right! It's got to be good lovin', too!
Woman: You know what I'm saying? Don't talk to me 'bout no headache, 'cause I can't do this everyday!

–1 Train

Posted on December 31, 2009
Health and Hygiene, Love, On the Subway, Parents, Passengers, Strangers, Travel

…In Happier Times.

Lady screaming at boyfriend: No! You don't understand I already tried my card that way? It's not working!
Guy walking by to girlfriend: Wow, that sounds like us!

–63rd St

Posted on December 28, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Couples, Money & Class, Strangers, Street

The Equally Unpleasant Male Equivalent Of a “Little Dick” Insult

Aspiring street musician: Hey, lady! Wanna buy my CD?
Lady: Nope! That shit's rap and I only like R&B!
Aspiring street musician: Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn't be outside with your pussy smelling like that!

–Outside Macy's

Overheard by: Nick Spiller

Posted on December 27, 2009
Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, For Sale, Music, Musicians, Offers and requests, Sensory Experiences, Strangers, Street, Vagina

Strangers