Was Saving 49 Cents Really Worth All That?

Cashier: Look, it's $1.99, okay? Then, I take $1.49, okay. So it's two for a dollar, okay.
Customer: I don't get it, it said it was two for a dollar and you are charging me $1.49.
Cashier: No, no, no, see, it's $1.99, okay. I take out $1.49 okay. See, watch. I scan it and it says $1.99. Then I take out 1.49, see.
Customer: No, I don't see, I don't get why you are charging me $1.49.
Cashier: Ugh… Mary*, come here. (speaks to Mary* in Spanish)
Mary*: When she scans it you don't see the real amount because she isn't finished the transaction yet.
Customer: Then why wasn't she showing me that?
Mary*: She did show you that.

–Pratt Institute Associated, Myrtle Ave

Overheard by: Is Subtraction Really That Hard?

Posted on October 1, 2009
Brooklyn, Cashiers, Coworkers, Customers, Money & Class, Questions, Shopping, Store, Stupidity

But Isn't It More About the Moon?

Man #1: It's been a special day. You got a raise, and his girlfriend just started the menstrual cycle.
Man #2: What's the menstrual cycle?
Man #3: You don't know? That's when, you know… the earth revolves around the sun.
Man #2: Ohhhh. I knew that.

–Richmond Avenue, Staten Island

Posted on October 1, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Men, Menstruation, Questions, Staten Island, Stupidity

Another Round Of Wednesday One-Liners

Regular guy: You got Old English reeking out your pores… Come outside and air out.

–Frederick Douglas & 126th St

Mother of three: Come with me and I'll buy you a bag of beer! I've never had a bag of beer before and I could really use one!

–34th St & Broadway

20-something girl to another: I gave up Grey Goose for lent.

–Pizza Shop, The Bronx

Overheard by: E.J.

Guy with teardrop tattoo: Dude, moonshine is awesome. It's 99% alcohol and 1% liquor.

–L Train

Overheard by: someone's going to the ER/remedial math class tonight…

Ditzy girl: I was thinking, how come I had a much worse time junior year than I did sophomore year? Then I realized, it's because I didn't drink margaritas.

–Party

Overheard by: The House

Posted on September 30, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Education, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Moms, On the Subway, One-liners, Parades & Festitivites, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, School and studying, Street, Stupidity, The Bronx, Wednesday One-Liners

Flexible Work Schedules Work Because They're Flexible

Girl #1: I don't want, like, a 9 to 5 job.
Girl #2: Well what kind of, like, job do you want then?
Girl #1: Like… maybe 10 to 6?
Girl #2: Isn't that like 9 to 5.
Girl #1: Yeah, but I, like, want to travel and the hours work better.

–MetroNorth

Posted on September 28, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Questions, Stupidity, Time, Trains Not Subway, Travel, Wishes & desires

Ad: Come for the Stupidity, Stay for the Penis!

Guy: I just don't understand what you see in him.
Girl: He's lazy, irresponsible.
Guy: And stupid!

–Astor Place

Posted on September 28, 2009
Girls, Guys, Relationships, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

It's Far Less Expensive That Way

Woman #1: Have you ever heard of Feng Shui?
Woman #2: I've heard of him but haven't heard him.

–55th St & Ave of the Stars

Overheard by: Michael

Posted on September 25, 2009
Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Names, Questions, Singing, Stupidity, Women

Well There's Water in It.

Attendant: Water or juice?
20-something woman: H2O, please.
(attendant hands her juice)

–Hampton Jitney

Posted on September 25, 2009
Bus, Clerks, Drinks, Offers and requests, On the Bus, Passengers, Science, Stupidity

Police Arrested the Third Kid for Felony Enabling

Kid #1: It's so hard!
Kid #2: That's what she said!
(kid #3 high fives kid #2)
Kid #1: That sucked.
Kid #2: So does your mom!
Kid #3: Yeah! (high fives kid #2)

–Metro-North Train

Overheard by: soixantedeux

Posted on September 24, 2009
BJs, Comebacks, Erections, Kids, Parents, Penis, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway

But You Can't Tell That from My Nails and Hair

Pissed-off girl, fighting with friend: You outer-borough trash!
(10 minutes later)
Friend: Why did you even call her that?
Pissed-off girl: That's what she is!
Friend: But you're from Staten Island!

–Karaoke Duet 35

Overheard by: Slugs