Stupidity

Blonde chick: I don’t understand. It’s stupid. You mutiply it by 4.
Brunette chick: No, there are 52 weeks in a year.
Blonde chick: No, you multiply the months by 4. 12 times 4, and you get 48.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Bystander

Chick: …And she just lets him in!
Guy: And you’re asleep?
Chick: I’m asleep, and he comes over, and she opens the door for him.
Guy: And she leaves?
Chick: Yeah! So we’re alone, right, and he comes and, like, crawls into bed with me!
Guy: Whoa.
Chick: And I sleep naked, right?
Guy: Right.
Chick: So I’m like, what the fuck?
Guy: You should fire her as a roommate.
Chick: Naw, it sort of turned out all right.

–Brittany Hall Residence elevator, East 10th Street

Girl #1: What does the Pope wear when he like sleeps? Does he always wear the huge robe and tiny little hat?
Girl #2: Ha, ha! Wow, You just totally blew my mind.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Michelle Smith

JAP: I like, didn’t even know I had a middle name until my bat-mitzvah.

–53rd & 8th

Overheard by: Phil

Guy #1: Are you Xander with an x or Zander with a z?
Guy #2: An x.
Guy #1: Nobody likes a Xander with a z.

–Hunter College

Black hipster girl being given directions: Huh? Crosswalk? What is a “crosswalk”?
Shop girl: Honey, I'm from Ohio and I know what a crosswalk is!

–Vintage Store, West Broadway

Overheard by: Murray

Tourist #1, pointing toward Upper West Side: Is that where the World Trade Center was?
Tourist #2: Yeah, I think so.

–Central Park

JAP #1: Isn’t The Pursuit of Happyness an action movie? Because he needs money–
JAP #2: –Not all black people need to shoot people for money.

–Lehman College cafeteria

Overheard by: can’t breathe

Man: Hey, do you have any whistles? You know — the kind that shut people up when you blow them?
Clerk: No.
Man: Fuck!

–47th & Broadway

20-something man on cell: I just bought another Transformers t-shirt. That means I am one Transformers t-shirt away from being able to only wear Transformers t-shirts.

–9th Ave & 45th St

Overheard by: Serena

Male art teacher: What's wrong with chiffon? If I were home right now, I would be wearing chiffon.

–Hunter College High School

Bar owner to college kid wearing suit: Look atchu all dressed up. What, are you goin' on a game show or somethin?

–Citi Bar

Overheard by: Lulu

20-something girl on cell: You should've known when you liked his clothes that he was going to be overly emotional. No one who dresses that good can hold it all together.

–Locker Room, Crunch Gym

Guy to group of friends: Yeah, so I said to him, "Mike, it's a problem when you wearin' the same clothes as your daughter.'"

–5th Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: Sue