Wannabe hipster teen girl #1: My face is so bad cause I'm on my period.
Wannabe hipster teen girl #2: I think I'm gonna do my face since I have nothing else to do.
Wannabe hipster teen girl #1: Oh! We can do each other's faces!
–L Train
Overheard by: Wtf?
SUV driver to pedicab trying to make its way through the snow: Hey, buddy! I got a reindeer, ya wanna buy it?
–8th Ave & 48th St
Loud 13-year-old: Shut the fuck up, it's almost Christmas.
–B Train
Overheard by: Taylor
Middle-aged guy on cell: You'll never guess what I'm doing for Christmas. You'll never guess in a million years. (pause) Uhm, yeah, that's pretty close.
–8th Ave
Guy dressed in Santa costume on cell: Stop being such a weenie!
–Midtown
Angry little girl to older brother: If you don't let Santa out of our closet I will!
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Taylor
Old man to teenagers dancing in line ahead of him: What are you kids listening to? Looks like fun!
Teenage boy, aggressively: We're dancing to Lady Gaga's “Bad Romance.” You don't know her.
Old man: I love her! I'm seeing her concert at Radio City Music Hall!
(teenagers stare, speechless)
–Metropolitan Opera, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: James
Guy outside NY Life building: You have to entrance a man with your pussy… or your voice.
–26th & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Seeking Dating Advice
Ghetto guy to date: I eat pussy for 40 minutes!
–The Frying Pan
Overheard by: Aly
Irate woman on cell: I ain't a size two anymore! This shit be hurtin my ass, and my vah-jay-jay!
–6th Ave & 38th St
Girl to another: If you were a stranger, I'd punch you in the vagina.
–D Train
Father to teenage son: There will be plenty more pussy to come, you just need to get your swagger back.
–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mister Pants
Stringy-haired teen in waiting room: See? We got here an hour early and we're still sitting here.
Trashy mom: Shut up and watch Martha Stewart.
Stringy-haired teen: My stomach hurts. That chocolate I ate today upset my stomach.
Trashy mom: That's what you get for eating chocolate at eight am.
Stringy-haired teen: I woke up at six, ate some, then went back to bed. Then I woke up at eight and finished it.
Trashy mom: Shut up and watch Martha Stewart.
–Dentist Office, Brooklyn
Teenage girl: He plays with his 25-inch monster all day in his room.
Teenage boy: Are you talking about a computer or a penis?
–High School, Queens
14-year-old girl #1: I'm in love with my cousin and he says he likes me back.
14-year-old girl #2: You can't help who you like.
14-year-old girl #1: I'm only telling you because I know you won't judge me. He says he loves his girlfriend but he wants to be with me too.
–Uptown 4 Train
Teen boy: No, I can't hide a bottle there. She makes me do it with the door open. She'll see.
Teen friend: She's going to watch you pee?
Teen boy: No, I have my back to her, but she'll notice a bottle. Maybe I can use a Visine bottle.
Teen friend: Just tell her that a positive result is good and negative is bad.
–B1 Bus
Young teen boy #1: If you like the pussy, you gay nigga. You only straight if you like dick. Box-eatin' nigga.
Young teen boy #2: That's, like, the coolest shit I ever heard.
–Troutman & Central, Bushwick
Overheard by: john.ainley
Teenage girl: I'm never fucking talking to her again, she ruined my sweet sixteen!
Teenage boy: Do you… do you want me to punch her in the face?
–Duane Reade, Columbus Circle
