Female driver to chubby crossing pedestrian: You gonna die, honkey!
–City Island Ave
Overheard by: Sam
Female driver to chubby crossing pedestrian: You gonna die, honkey!
–City Island Ave
Overheard by: Sam
Smart girl: Well, he needs to check with his partner to see if we can have dogs in the apartment.
Hot guy: So, do you think he's gay?
Smart girl: No! He's Spanish.
–Pelham Parkway & Cruger Ave, The Bronx
Overheard by: Dazed and Confused
Woman: I want to report that there is a drawing of Hitler at the bottom of these stairs.
MTA lady: Well, is there anything anti-Semitic written with the drawing?
–225th Street 1 station
Overheard by: adam
Professor: Gods, these students. It’s like they just don’t get it, you tell them things and two minutes later they ask you the same thing. How did they get here? What are they going to major in? In "homelessness"?
–English Department, Hostos Community College
Well-dressed 20-something girl: Homeless people tell me to cheer up all the time!
–1 train
Rich woman #1, fixing rich woman #2’s scarf: [laughs] Oh my god, you look homeless!
–1 Train
Overheard by: sagehen
Well-dressed woman on cell: It’s just another Wednesday and I’m a bag lady.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Mother to her flock of children entering the train and then getting off: Run guys run, theres a homeless guy on that train! Run!
–F Train
Overheard by: yana
Queer: Why do you like him? The guy behind us in the black shirt is so much hotter.
Hag: Ew…
Queer: You know I like those big, rough German types…if he put me in a camp, just imagine all the terrible things he would do to me.
Hag: …Would you stop staring at him?
Queer: I so want him to rape me.
Hag: Get over it, he’s not gay!
Queer: Whatever, if we were in prison he’d so be doing me.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Smack Jack
Guy: This is going to sound awful but Ryan Gosling was really hot in that movie where he played the Nazi with the shaved head.
Girl: Yeah, he was a hot Nazi in that movie. A hotzi, if you will.
–92nd Street Y
Overheard by: Kelly
Student #1: Mr S., you have a big wenis.
Teacher: What!?
Student #1: “Wenis” is the extra skin at the back of your elbow.
(teacher grabs forearm)
Student #2: No, straighten your arm and grab the extra skin. If you pinch your wenis really hard it doesn’t hurt! Try it, pinch your wenis, Mr S.
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: LSB
Woman on cell: Yeah, I have to go. I’m too distracted on the phone, and I don’t trust anyone in this terminal. People are speaking Spanish behind me, if you know what I mean.
–LaGuardia
Mother to son, as he exits camel ride: Were you scared?
Son: The part that was scariest was the germs.
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: mully
Wasted yuppie dude: Officer, officer!
Cop: Yeah?
Wasted yuppie dude: That bouncer at Stan's?
Cop: Yeah?
Wasted yuppie dude: He's on fucking steroids!
Cop: So?
–159th St & River Ave, Bronx
Overheard by: Matt
Suit #1: I don’t know if I have enough on this one card.
Suit #2: Do you have another one?
Suit #1: Yeah, but do you think they’ll let me use more than one?
Suit #2: Look, there’s a brotha on the register. He’ll understand.
–Target, 225th Street
Overheard by: Laura Tompkins
