Southern tourist #1: Oh my! Oh. My. God!
Southern tourist #2: Woman, what is it?
Southern tourist #1: It's that Elmo again! I saw him yesterday! At the same place! It's preying on tourists!
Southern tourist #2: Maybe you just need a hug from him!
Suit: It is an “it!” An “it,” you tourist fools! It! It! Iiiiiiiiiiiittttttt!
Southern tourist #2: I toldja we shoulda just stuck with Atlantic City.
–Times Square
Portly man: So what are you trying to tell me?
Skinny blond teen: He choked to death on a live hampster!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Not how I wanna go
Lady: What Broadway show is this?
Little girl: This ain't no Broadway show, it's McDonald's.
Lady, laughing: Oh. Well, it looks just like that Broadway show next door.
–McDonald's, Times Square
Overheard by: Shana
Gay man: You know, I have finally come to accept my sexuality.
Woman: Oh, that's good!
Gay man: I'm not even afraid to tell the world: Hey everyone! I like men!
Overhearing hobo, with a hopeful smile: Hey! Me too!
–Times Square
Overheard by: hobos are around at the strangest times
Girl: So I saw JT last night.
Friend: The guy with the ear-wax fetish?!
–Times Square
Overheard by: lilah
High school girl: She banged some dude with no condom during her period, then she blew another guy after the basketball game.
–Panera, Queens
Overheard by: NBG1
Teen: My health teacher always yells at me for being late. Shouldn't she be, like, sustaining my self-esteem?
–Green Apple Cafe
Overheard by: Julie
Hippie teenager leaving bathroom: When I see you all later, I will not have any idea who the hell you are!
–Nokia Theater, Times Square
Overheard by: dan
Teenage girl to cute guy, after spitting on door window: I have a bad habit of spittin'.
–E Train
Overheard by: MrsBall
Teenager to crying little brother: Shut up! Stop it or I'll take away your ShamWow!
–Times Square
Overheard by: JYC
Teenage boy on cell: I won't cock-block! (pause) I won't cock-block!
–E 77th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Steve G
Old woman with husband, reminiscing: When I was younger I had an art degree from Cooper Union, had a fantastic graphic design job. I had a great career going for myself. And then guess what happened.
20-something girl: You got married?
Old woman, shocked: No! How old do you think I am? That we're from the 1800s? (pause) Computers. That's what happened.
–Times Square
Overheard by: RCS
Hobo: Hey, this weather sucks huh?
BMX kids: Yeah, totally.
Hobo: You know, the Koreans find storm clouds before they come and shoot them with missiles, so they never get bad weather.
BMX kids: Wow, why is our weather still bad?
Hobo: Koreans…
–Times Square
Overheard by: Dylan
Black comedy show promoter: Do you want to see a comedy show tonight?
Teenage white girl: Um…no.
Black promoter: Come on. Do you even like black people?
Teenage white girl, with huge smile on her face: Why yes! I love black people!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Haefster
British tourist, passing by The Pink Tea Cup Southern restaurant: Oh, look–an urban menu!
–Bleecker & Grove
Young Asian tourist girl: You mean, there's not actually any fields?
–Strawberry Fields
Overheard by: Jason K.
Tourist, in thick Southern accent: I just don't understand how they turn the trains around so fast, and we don't see them do it!
–Grand Central Station, Shuttle Train
Overheard by: Sara
Tourist hick teen to others: Everybody's wearin' shoes!
–33rd St & 6th Ave
Elderly tourist being escorted to her seat: Oh! I hope we get a booth!
–Olive Garden
Overheard by: EthanK
Tourist to friend: No, we cannot go into a store. I cannot leave Broadway. How else would you expect me to get discovered?
–Time Square
