Only Wednesday One-Liners Bother to Look Up

British tourist, passing by The Pink Tea Cup Southern restaurant: Oh, look–an urban menu!

–Bleecker & Grove

Young Asian tourist girl: You mean, there's not actually any fields?

–Strawberry Fields

Overheard by: Jason K.

Tourist, in thick Southern accent: I just don't understand how they turn the trains around so fast, and we don't see them do it!

–Grand Central Station, Shuttle Train

Overheard by: Sara

Tourist hick teen to others: Everybody's wearin' shoes!

–33rd St & 6th Ave

Elderly tourist being escorted to her seat: Oh! I hope we get a booth!

–Olive Garden

Overheard by: EthanK

Tourist to friend: No, we cannot go into a store. I cannot leave Broadway. How else would you expect me to get discovered?

–Time Square

Posted on May 27, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Brits, Central Park, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Food, Foreigners, Friends, Grand Central, Jobs & Careers, Old People, One-liners, Parks, Public Transportation, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Shoes, Southerners, Stupidity, Teens, The Village, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, Trains Not Subway, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

This Is Something I've Only Dreamed Of!

Conductor: Next stop, NYU. 8th Street.
Tourist teen girl #1: NYU? Is that New York University?
Tourist teen girl #2: Umm, I think so.
Tourist teen girl #1: Wow! New York University has their own stop!

–N Train

Posted on May 25, 2009
Conductors, Directions, Names, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Stupidity, Teens, Tourism, Tourists

Let's Leave This Heathen Town Before It Eats Us Alive!

Old tourist: They have a monorail here now.
Older tourist: A what?
Old tourist: A monorail.
Older tourist: A monorail?
Old tourist: A monorail.
Older tourist: Jesus.

–JFK

Overheard by: zoviet

Posted on May 22, 2009
Airports, JFK Airport, Old People, Public Transportation, Questions, Tourism, Tourists, Weirdness

Squirrel: Bitch, I Will Fuck You Up

Tourist girl #1: Oh, look! There's a squirrel over there!
Tourist girl #2: Uh, yeah. We have those at home, you know.

–Central Park

Posted on May 16, 2009
Animals & Nature, Central Park, Girls, Home, Sweet Home, Parks, Tourism, Tourists

You Want a Sip Of Me? Huh?

Dunkin' Donuts giant coffee cup mascot: Beautiful Saturday folks, come to the grand opening of Dunkin' Donuts right down the block…
Tourist bro: Dunkin' Donuts sucks!
Dunkin' Donuts giant coffee cup mascot: Get out of here, you asshole!

–Canal & Lafayette

Overheard by: Christian

Posted on May 11, 2009
Gripes, Insults, Tourists, Vendors & Street Performers, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

…If You Wouldn't Mind Fluffing and Folding Them.

Airport customs officer: Are you bringing in any fruits or vegetables or anything that needs to be washed?
Non-sarcastic tourist: I have dirty clothes.

–JFK

Overheard by: MJMJ

Posted on May 9, 2009
Airports, Cleanliness, Clerks, Clothing, Fruit, JFK Airport, Tourists, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Will Be Married to Supermodels One Day

Nerdy tourist boy looking at display: My depth perception is yelling at me…

–Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: jules

Pizza guy on cell: Have a good 4th… What? No, I said to have a good 4th, not "may the force be with you." (pause) Have a good 4th. (pause) Yeah, have a good 4th, and may the force be with you. Uh- huh. Good night.

–Dekalb & Hall St, Brooklyn

Indian nerd to friends, in the midst of heated debate: Dude, vitamins are fucking weak!

–Grand Central Subway Platform

Overheard by: djprojexion

Geek on cell, in line at Comic Con: Dude, I'm at the con… It's like, ten times more awesome…than anything awesome!

–NYC Comic Con

Overheard by: RedmanInc

Nerdy guy: Some super powers come with implied powers. Like the power of flight. You assume the power of wind resistance, because you'd get pretty freaking cold flying 200 mph. But no one ever thinks of that.

–Fordham Law School

Posted on May 6, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Brooklyn, Clerks, Compare/Contrast, Fordham, Friends, Grand Central, Health and Hygiene, India Indians, Insults, Laughter, Movies, Museum of Natural History, Nerds, On Cell, One-liners, Parades & Festitivites, Sensory Experiences, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Superheroes, Tourists, Weather, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

In San Francisco, All the Dirty Lumps Are People

New Yorker: That's melted snow.
Female Asian visitor: What? But it's so dirty. It doesn't look like snow at all.
New Yorker: It's mixed with the dirt.
Female Asian visitor: Oh, I thought it was a dead dog!
New Yorker: What? Are you crazy?
Female Asian visitor: Wait. I need to take a picture of this.

–Midtown

Posted on May 1, 2009
Asians, Cleanliness, Compare/Contrast, Man's Best Friend, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Pictures, Questions, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists

Well That Explains the Crowds

Lost tourist, complete with map and camera accessories: Hi, can you tell us which direction Chinatown is in?
New Yorker in a hurry: Fool, are you out of your mind? You're closer to the real China all the way up here!

–104th & Broadway

Overheard by: Yummmmm Dumplings

Posted on April 14, 2009
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Directions, Global Geography, Only in New York, Questions, Tourism, Tourists, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Like He's About to Smite Somebody With Unflattering Rhymes

Suburban teenage tourist #1, looking up at obnoxiously large TRL TV screen with P. Diddy's face on it: Doesn't Diddy look like god?
Suburban teenage tourist #2, in awe: Yeah…

–42nd St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Alex Murry

Posted on April 10, 2009
Compare/Contrast, God, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, Stupidity, Teens, Tourists

Tourists