20-something JAP #1: I've been walking a lot lately. Can you, like, lose calories from walking?
20-something JAP #2 (drinking bottle of Fiji water): Um, I dunno. That's a good question. But, like, water is negative calories.
–63rd & 1st
Overheard by: RRJr.
Little girl to mother: Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?
Mother (under breath): You're laughing now, but one day…
–86th & York
Overheard by: Micaela
Ghetto guy: And we had gotten a big group of girlies together to devour, we insatiable.
Ghetto girlfriend: Oh yeah, yeah, I gotcha.
–73rd & 3rd
Asian Guy #1: You know what I wanna watch?
Ditzy Asian Teen: What?
Asian Guy #1: Talladega Nights.
Asian Guy #2: The story of a man who could only count to one!
Ditzy Asian Teen: Really? There's a story like that?
–68th & Lexington
Overheard by: dog run
Security guy to suit: Why do you all feel like congratulating me for his win? Just cause I'm black doesn't mean I should be congratulated. Why do you keep doing that? What the fuck did I do?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: pop pop
little boy to father: When are the bad people leaving the White House so Obama can be President?
–Grocery Store, 71st & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Rena
FedEx guy to shipping clerk: Obama's gonna go uptown and say, "that's right, niggas, I'z here!"
–W 26th & 6th Ave
Angry black woman on cell: Excuse me! Obama is our President now and I won't be calling you "massa" anymore. You understand?
–Worth & Broadway
Middle-aged black man sitting at bus stop: Not "yo mama," not "Osama," "Obama!" They should paint the White House black. No…that would be irresponsible. Maybe caramel.
–125th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Nicole
Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. I want to wish you all a dry, cozy, Obama weekend. Now could you please spare some change for a hungry man? (young black man gives him change) Now that is an Obama voter. (looks around at white people) I will also accept change from McCain voters.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Steph
Guy on phone, announcing to the bar: My baby can say "Obama"!
–Lucky Jack's, Orchard St
Overheard by: Karin
Man on cell: Listen, you are just not going to meet a young woman who doesn't have a MySpace page, isn't religious, and doesn't want children.
–46th St & 5th St
30-something to friend: Why is it people from the Midwest always ask if you've tried speed dating? It is like the first thing they think of when they hear about a single woman in New York–she must not have tried speed dating yet.
–1st St & 2nd Ave
Girl on cell: I mean, he basically acts like we're living together. But I don't know, like, I almost called him last night and asked, "are we even dating?"
–65th St & 1st Ave
Hispanic lady: I don't need no man, I don't need no man. I got everything I need in my purse.
–Cafe, West Village
Woman with British accent: It's wonderful that you remember it all so vividly.
Man with British accent: Yes. I remember we were dancing. I was dancing with you and those transvestite trucker types in a circle around your handbags.
–59 St & Park Ave
Black girl: And I told that nigga that one of these days he's better goddamn fuck me sober!
Friend: Damn straight!
–67th & Lexington
Overheard by: Oliver Woodhead
Middle aged lady on cell: Lots of people say Dallas is really nice. Lots of nice people, nice weather. What do you have against it?" (pause) That was in '63!
–M79
Party girl to cool guy: Why can't you let me be nice? I'm not nice to anyone.
–77th & York Ave
Overheard by: UES Suit
Flamboyantly gay guy to crowd of girls at Pinkberry: You know, I was just trying to do something nice, and this is how you treat me? Fuck y'all, I'm gonna be the next President. (storms off)
–St. Mark's
Overheard by: scarface
Garbage man to another: Man, Attica is the best prison. High class. That shit is nice!
–81st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: eliza
Suit on cell: I wonder what his wife is like. She's probably nice, but rich. You know what I mean.
–2nd Ave & 88th St
Woman on cell: Nice people just can't tell if they're pregnant.
–W Houston & Varick
Overheard by: courtney messer
Girl: I think I have gout. Look at my fat knees!
Guy friend: Are you sure you're not just having self-image issues?
–Starbucks, 96th & Madison
